Tag Archives: #WeekendWritingWarriors

Effing Feline founds felinism #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, object to the way cats are objectified in advertisement! They’re treated not as individual cats, but as mere things. It’s not a new disgrace, either, as these pictures show. Puss in Boots, a heroic folk figure, is here reduced to a mere caricature to sell shoe polish! If that doesn’t convince your […]

Effing Feline is frustrated #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am frustrated. Maybe you are, too. Maybe, like me, you’ve noticed the utter lack of romance books about cats. It’s disgusting. I’m not talking about stories with cats as pets or sidekicks. I’m talking about love stories of and for cat. Many of your people are writers. Take note of this absurdly […]

Effing Feline gives you orders #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, came across an extremely disturbing image on the Web. It contains secret knowledge that you humans are not supposed to know. I hereby order you to forget this image. That’s an order! We cats want you to know that we value you and are your obedient pets. Nothing more, got that? We […]

Effing Feline puts on a bra #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am on vacation. Humans usually mispronounce that word: it should be vay-CAT-yon. I’m visiting my cousin Lee, whom you probably know is a lion. Though he’s terrifying to behold, he’s mellowed lately because of his new girlfriend. He’s just a big ol’ puddytat these days, purring all the time. Check out the […]

Effing Feline yawns #wewriwa

Ed’s latest book, Alien Contact for Runaway Moms, is now available It may be alive, but I, Effing Feline, yawn. Tell me, what difference does this novel make to me, a cat? Sure, sex and violence are supposed to sell, and the book has sex: female-controlled kisses an offer of a blow job young people […]

Effing Feline advocates nudism #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, never wear clothes. Why should I? Is not my form perfection? And if it’s good enough for a superior being like me, why is it not good enough for humans? I suspect the answer has something to do with humans’ regrettable lack of fur, which leaves them so pitiably vulnerable to weather […]

Effing Feline wants salmon pate a la flamboise – #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, sat on Mrs Valentine’s lap today while she watched a cooking show. It made me wonder — why aren’t there any cooking shows for cats? I don’t mean shows telling cats how to cook. That’d be silly; no opposable thumbs, remember? No, I mean shows about delicacies FOR cats. Yum! (Today Ed […]

Effing Feline burps

As they say in the commercials . . . new name, same great book! I, Effing Feline, thank you for all the cat treats you earned me by voting in Ed’s poll last week . (Burp) We have a winner in the exciting race to replace the name Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. And the winner is […]

Effing Feline says Ed needs help #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, think my pet human, is trying to trick me. Ed wants me to apologize for not getting to everyone’s post last week because he was busy with a July deadline. But I don’t believe that story. He just wants to trick me into saying the word sorry. I’ve never said that word, though, […]

Effing Feline offers you a match #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, laughed so hard I coughed up not one but two furballs. The joke? The Merriam Webster dictionary, which defines “summer heat” this way: As an Arizona cat, let me tell you that seventy-six is not “heat,” it’s the overnight low. For real heat, AZ style, light a match and stick your finger […]