Tag Archives: Weekend Writing Warriors

Effing Feline disdains maps #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, don’t need a map to find my food bowl. So what use are maps, anyway? To cats, no use at all. Nonetheless, I suppose I should have explained the map I showed last week. Kwadra is an alternate Earth’s Vancouver Island. The Kwadrans “hopped” their island to our Earth when the environment […]

Effing Feline wishes for . . . ?

I, Effing Feline, think that the saying “Be careful what you wish for” applies only to humans, not cats. For example, Mrs Valentine (Ed’s wife) wished for cool weather during her recent trip from Arizona to Toronto to visit the two sons who live there. What she got was freezing rain, snow, and frigid temperatures. Be […]

Effing Feline sends you allergens #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, was delighted last week when people complained about me ending my selections from Ed’s sci fi romance, Rescuing Prince Charming, on a cliffhanger. You see, I’m not one of those spineless lap cats who seek only to please. No way! The laps I prefer belong to: People who hate cats. People who […]

Effing Feline lusts after the white cat

I, Effing Feline, endure a plethora of problematic, possibly painful possibilities. Case in point: Ed (Mr V, my pet human) plays the oboe. All you need to know about the oboe is that it’s LOUD. But lately he’s been practicing some music I love. Next week, his group will be in the pit for a […]

Effing Feline doesn’t love dog lovers #Sunday

I, Effing Feline, wish Brett a happy birthday! Brett is the third of Mr V’s four children, and his petting  hand is gentle and loving, even if he’s a dog person. There. I’ve done my familial duty. Now I can tell you my REAL feelings about dog people! I feel that — Sigh. Once again, I’m […]

Effing Feline documents animal cruelty #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, told you last week about my hard, hard life, having to put up with a seven-month-old baby. To show you what I mean, I’ve found a monstrous video showing some of the torture babies perpetrate on us poor cats. I won’t show you the video until after today’s snippet. You would be […]

Effing Feline hates babies #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, live a hard, hard life. To whit, four days a week, when Mrs V (with occasional help from Mr V) babysits their two grandchildren, I must suffer a seven-month-old baby. I’ve taught the four-year-old about my claws; Wesley treats me graciously. But the seven-month old! Quel horreur! Young Logan likes to grab […]

Effing Feline blows up Hollywood

I, Effing Feline,  remember when a car exploded in the alley behind Mr Valentine’s house. True story — would I lie to you? The car was stolen, abandoned, and set on fire. When the gas exploded — and here’s the thing — it sounded like a gas oven being lit, thwump, and flames shot up […]

Effing Feline is trying. Very.

I, Effing Feline, tried to scratch my way into the innards of Mr Valentine’s couch (as I showed you last week). Mrs V is smart, though. She taped tin foil over my scratching place, trimmed my claws, and then closed the door to the family room. Here’s another snippet from Rescuing Prince Charming. Dusty Johnson, a […]

Effing Feline scratches the couch

I, Effing Feline, lost not one, not two, but three claws this morning. That may not be important to you, but to me it is a big, big relief. Furthermore, it’s a sign of my clawing prowess! You see, we cats don’t actually lose claws, only old sheaths of claws, kind of like snakes shedding […]