Tag Archives: Effing Feline

Effing Feline ain’t here #wewriwa

I, Twiggles the Dog, am filling  in for Effing Feline. He’s unable to write this week. Last week, Effing told you he was expecting a visit from his cousin, Lee.  Lee is a lion. The last time he visited, Effing got tired of him eating all the cat food. So he called the zoo. They […]

Effing Feline worries about Cousin Lee #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am expecting a visitor soon — my cousin Lee.  While I admire Lee, for some reason he makes me feel small. Any cat except me would be scared of Lee, but not me! But I’m a big enough cat to admit I’m a wee bit anxious about the last time we met. You […]

Effing Feline wants to walk #8sunday #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am twitching my tail on the window sill, watching Twiggles the dog go outside for a walk. I don’t see why I never get to go outside, too. Forget the collar and leash, though. Undignified. We would need to go where I want to go, not down to the stupid park where […]

Effing Feline wants salmon pate a la flamboise – #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, sat on Mrs Valentine’s lap today while she watched a cooking show. It made me wonder — why aren’t there any cooking shows for cats? I don’t mean shows telling cats how to cook. That’d be silly; no opposable thumbs, remember? No, I mean shows about delicacies FOR cats. Yum! (Today Ed […]

Effing Feline burps

As they say in the commercials . . . new name, same great book! I, Effing Feline, thank you for all the cat treats you earned me by voting in Ed’s poll last week . (Burp) We have a winner in the exciting race to replace the name Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. And the winner is […]

Effing Feline says Ed needs help #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, think my pet human, is trying to trick me. Ed wants me to apologize for not getting to everyone’s post last week because he was busy with a July deadline. But I don’t believe that story. He just wants to trick me into saying the word sorry. I’ve never said that word, though, […]

Effing Feline offers you a match #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, laughed so hard I coughed up not one but two furballs. The joke? The Merriam Webster dictionary, which defines “summer heat” this way: As an Arizona cat, let me tell you that seventy-six is not “heat,” it’s the overnight low. For real heat, AZ style, light a match and stick your finger […]

Effing Feline hates fixers

I, Effing Feline, cannot celebrate Father’s Day, as I’m not a father . . .  because against my will, I was “fixed.” Grr, hiss! I’m choosing another snippet from Ed’s WIP, a near-future SFR novel titled Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. Penniless and desperate, twenty-something Audra lets a Kwadran construction worker guide her up a wilderness mountain […]

Effing Feline peers into the wolf’s mouth

I, Effing Feline, think English is weird. Take the saying “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” Why shouldn’t you? You can tell a lot by looking in a horse’s mouth, like its age and health. Right, Hywela? “Gift cats,” of course, are different. Don’t expect a gift from a cat. Instead, shower your cat […]

Effing Feline teases dogs #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, hate the cat videos on Youtube. Instead of glorifying my glorious species, they portray us as creatures to laugh at. That is so misguided. If you silly humans really must laugh at some animal, laugh at dogs instead! Ed is working on rewrites of his near-future SFR tentatively titled Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. Audra […]