Tag Archives: #8Sunday

Effing Feline needs help! #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, do NOT need help, no matter what the title of this post says. I am perfect as is, or as close to perfection as you humans will ever hear purr. But Ed . . . Let me tell you, that man needs help. Seriously. He’s written a whole book but he doesn’t […]

Effing Feline is frustrated #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am frustrated. Maybe you are, too. Maybe, like me, you’ve noticed the utter lack of romance books about cats. It’s disgusting. I’m not talking about stories with cats as pets or sidekicks. I’m talking about love stories of and for cat. Many of your people are writers. Take note of this absurdly […]

Effing Feline wants salmon pate a la flamboise – #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, sat on Mrs Valentine’s lap today while she watched a cooking show. It made me wonder — why aren’t there any cooking shows for cats? I don’t mean shows telling cats how to cook. That’d be silly; no opposable thumbs, remember? No, I mean shows about delicacies FOR cats. Yum! (Today Ed […]

Effing Feline peers into the wolf’s mouth

I, Effing Feline, think English is weird. Take the saying “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” Why shouldn’t you? You can tell a lot by looking in a horse’s mouth, like its age and health. Right, Hywela? “Gift cats,” of course, are different. Don’t expect a gift from a cat. Instead, shower your cat […]

Effing Feline is a poet #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, have a plethora of divine accomplishments, but you may not know that I write poetry worthy of the ages. In honor of Mother’s Day, here is one of my masterpieces: Roses are red, violets are blue, You love me, Mommy, and I love me too. Ed’s nearly completed WIP (now finished! First draft, […]

Effing Feline sends you allergens #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, was delighted last week when people complained about me ending my selections from Ed’s sci fi romance, Rescuing Prince Charming, on a cliffhanger. You see, I’m not one of those spineless lap cats who seek only to please. No way! The laps I prefer belong to: People who hate cats. People who […]

Effing Feline doesn’t love dog lovers #Sunday

I, Effing Feline, wish Brett a happy birthday! Brett is the third of Mr V’s four children, and his petting  hand is gentle and loving, even if he’s a dog person. There. I’ve done my familial duty. Now I can tell you my REAL feelings about dog people! I feel that — Sigh. Once again, I’m […]

Effing Feline hates babies #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, live a hard, hard life. To whit, four days a week, when Mrs V (with occasional help from Mr V) babysits their two grandchildren, I must suffer a seven-month-old baby. I’ve taught the four-year-old about my claws; Wesley treats me graciously. But the seven-month old! Quel horreur! Young Logan likes to grab […]

Effing Feline demands a new Internet

I, Effing Feline, think the Internet is stupid. Last week I asked you readers to send me food so I survive the diet I’ve been forced onto. But know what? And it’s really, really dumb . . . The only thing you can send over the Internet are electrons. I can’t eat &^%$#* electrons!!! While […]

Effing Feline is starving

I, Effing Feline, am starving. Mr V (my pet human) thinks I ate too much over the holidays, so he’s put me on a diet. He’s starting to call me Jabba the Cat. How humiliating. I’m sure you’ll agree that I don’t need to lose weight! So I’m asking you — begging you! — to […]