Category Weekend Writing Warriors

Effing Feline has the heart of a Jedi

I, Effing Feline, sniffed the stench of skepticism and, worse, condescension about my post last week, explaining the feline origins of Star Wars. Woe unto ye of little faith — more proof follows this advertisement for my human pet’s WIP, tentatively titled Secrets of Love and War. Cynthia O’Connor is accompanying a youthful alien clan sister, […]

Effing Feline loves the original Star Wars

I, Effing Feline, find today’s snippet inspiring. Invading an alien world … sigh.  My fur rises at the very idea.  I’m sure the invading spaceships in the snippet are being flown by fearsome felines. After all, everybody knows that George Lucas stole the idea for Star Wars from cats. Here’s the inspiring snippet from Ed’s […]

Effing Feline honors his mum

I, Effing Feline, want to honor my mummie. Problem is, I don’t really remember her. Based on the best evidence I have, though — namely her offspring, ME — I can extrapolate what she must look like.  Strong, noble, powerful, like so: Today, another snippet from Secrets of Love and War, Mr V’s current WIP. We’re continuing where […]

Effing Feline says humans are lazy

I, Effing Feline, have recuperated from the trauma of seeing pictures of Willie (at right), a previous family cat. Turns out he was actually Ed’s daughter’s cat, who cohabited here because Beth still lived at home. That means I’m still #1, right? Ed wants me to switch to a new project. He says he “needs the […]

Effing Feline trembles in the face of time

I, Effing Feline, saw some pictures today of a previous family cat, Willie. He was a handsome black and white feline, large, disdainful, and masculine (though ‘fixed’). Yet I find the pics profoundly disturbing.  There was a cat before me? There will be cats after me? My mind rebels against the utter absurdity of time and […]

Effing Feline bestows forgiveness

I, Effing Feline, returned from Toronto and began my search for a mouse — any mouse, just one little mouse so I could earn the glorious title of Good Mouser. In case you’ve forgotten, this was my plan: Scatter the cheese all over the house.  You know, for bait. Rip apart the couch cushions to see […]

Effing Feline cleans up

I, Effing Feline, have little time to write today. Too busy cleaning up for Christmas, since all four of Mr V’s children will be home for the holidays and I don’t want them to think I neglect my fur.  Here’s a picture of me, bathing: Since next Sunday is Christmas, this will be my last post […]

Effing Feline has no time for furballs

I, Effing Feline, have been madly shredding paper this week.  It’s part of the free document shredding service I discussed last week. I have ten boxes of paper to shred, so business is looking good … sort of. I have to find some cats willing to pay me to claw the papers to shreds. That’s the […]

Effing Feline thinks warm thoughts

I, Effing Feline, write this weekly column on behalf of my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine. Mr V’s pretty happy this week, because one of his sons is visiting from some place called Canada. That’s even farther north than Phoenix, I think. Up there, houses are heated, instead of cooled. Those people have the right idea! Today’s snippet […]

Effing Feline distrusts chuckling seniors

I, Effing Feline, post this weekly column on behalf of my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine. My cousin Lee, who lives in a zoo, read about the weight gain I mentioned in last week’s post, and sent me a picture of him to inspire me. Thanks, Lee! I feel thinner just looking at you. Today’s snippet […]