Category Weekend Writing Warriors

Effing Feline is a pig

I, Effing Feline, have the house to myself for the day. You see, Mr V’s off lollygagging at a writer’s conference. I’m left with one of those feeders that dispense as much cat food as I can eat. I consider it a challenge. Can I finish the entire container of food before he returns? Watch me […]

Effing Feline Googles himself

I, Effing Feline, figured out last week that I must have sisters. I’ve started searching for them. Imagine how awed they’ll be when they learn that I, the world’s most literary cat, am their brother! But I’m having trouble finding them. Can you believe that Google is utterly useless when it comes to searching for cats […]

Effing Feline has great litter

I, Effing Feline, just learned that I have sisters. Sisters! I feel like I’ve slept leapt onto the pages of one of my pet human’s books. Talk about a plot twist. I know this because Google says cats have more than one kitten in a litter — but clearly, no other males could stand comparison with […]

Effing Feline’s unfaves

I, Effing Feline, told you last week about some of my favorite things. Now some unfaves: dogs cats that are cuter than me people who think other cats are cuter than me food that isn’t meat or fish dogs And now, a snippet from Ed’s sci fi romance, Escapee, featuring the beloved skoot. Captain Dukelsky wants Catt […]

Effing Feline is hissed

I, Effing Feline, am hissed. Ed, my pet human, went to Toronto. He brought back candy for Mrs V and for his daughter and grandsons. But for me? Nothing. Nothing! Hiss to you, Mr V! But to show I’m a bigger cat than he is, I’ll present a snippet from his sci fi romance, Escapee. Despite his unfeeling […]

Effing Feline mocks Sadie

I, Effing Feline, am bereft. Ed, my pet human, has abandoned me to see his son’s dog, Sadie, in some place called Toronto. I suppose he’s visiting with his sons, too — but it’s the dog that bothers me. I’ve been telling cat jokes, but today I’m switching to jokes that make fun of !&*$*# […]

Effing Feline acts nice

I, Effing Feline, shall continue to soften my image by telling you more cat jokes. Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? She set a new lap record. What has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night. What side of a cat has the most fur? […]

Effing Feline Is not Nasty!

I, Effing Feline, need to clean up my act. Not my litter; my public image. You see, last week Ed commented that I was ‘The Cat Called Ove,’ a take-off on the name of a novel about a nasty man called Ove.  I am not nasty! To prove it, I’ll be sharing some cat jokes. […]

Effing Feline hisses

I, Effing Feline, hate the kitten next door. My sometimes friend, Twiggles the dog, is allowed outside even though I’m not. Yesterday the kitten came right up to the floor-to-ceiling window and drank from Twiggles’ water bowl — and Ed thought it was cute!  He took pictures! Grr, hiss! I’m sharing another snippet from Mr V’s […]

Effing Feline spreads tuna fish

I, Effing Feline, am washing myself. Ed gave me the remnants of his tuna sandwich, and I love tuna.  Now I’m washing myself to spread the glorious aroma all over my body. I’m sharing another snippet from Mr V’s SF romance, Escapee. After their remote mining moon is attack by enemies, Catt Sayer, the crusty captain […]