Category Weekend Writing Warriors

Effing Feline makes an offer you can’t refuse #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am going to present evidence of cat’s undeniable superiority in order to encourage you to join the Felinism Movement. Did you know that cats directly inspired some of the most enduring literature in history? Here’s proof that we inspired The Hardy Boys series: Romance, too. It defies belief that one of the […]

Effing Feline pronounces Felinism #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, showed my intellectual prowess last week by announcing the birth of a new movement certain to sweep the nation and redefine the Internet — felinism. However, there seems to be some uncertainty about how this new ism is pronounced. FEE line ism FEE lin ism Fuh LINE ism Effing ism etc. I shall […]

Effing Feline founds felinism #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, object to the way cats are objectified in advertisement! They’re treated not as individual cats, but as mere things. It’s not a new disgrace, either, as these pictures show. Puss in Boots, a heroic folk figure, is here reduced to a mere caricature to sell shoe polish! If that doesn’t convince your […]

Effing Feline isn’t to blame #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, wished you a Happy Halloween last week, even though that was too early — but it’s not my fault. Twiggles the dog is to blame. She tried on her costume and wanted a picture, and that confused me. It’s all her fault! I’ve selected another snippet from Escapee, book 2 of the […]

Effing Feline gives you orders #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, came across an extremely disturbing image on the Web. It contains secret knowledge that you humans are not supposed to know. I hereby order you to forget this image. That’s an order! We cats want you to know that we value you and are your obedient pets. Nothing more, got that? We […]

Effing Feline yawns #wewriwa

Ed’s latest book, Alien Contact for Runaway Moms, is now available It may be alive, but I, Effing Feline, yawn. Tell me, what difference does this novel make to me, a cat? Sure, sex and violence are supposed to sell, and the book has sex: female-controlled kisses an offer of a blow job young people […]

Effing Feline is back #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline have returned from the animal hospital after a short absence resulting from an unfortunate accident (?) during my cousin’s Lee’s visit. As everyone knows, Lee is a lion, and he lives in a zoo because the last time he visited me, he was eating all the cat food. I look horrible when skinny, […]

Effing Feline advocates nudism #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, never wear clothes. Why should I? Is not my form perfection? And if it’s good enough for a superior being like me, why is it not good enough for humans? I suspect the answer has something to do with humans’ regrettable lack of fur, which leaves them so pitiably vulnerable to weather […]

Effing Feline wants to walk #8sunday #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am twitching my tail on the window sill, watching Twiggles the dog go outside for a walk. I don’t see why I never get to go outside, too. Forget the collar and leash, though. Undignified. We would need to go where I want to go, not down to the stupid park where […]

Effing Feline wants salmon pate a la flamboise – #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, sat on Mrs Valentine’s lap today while she watched a cooking show. It made me wonder — why aren’t there any cooking shows for cats? I don’t mean shows telling cats how to cook. That’d be silly; no opposable thumbs, remember? No, I mean shows about delicacies FOR cats. Yum! (Today Ed […]