Category Effing Feline

Effing Feline doesn’t give a mizzet’s a$$ #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, saw the cover for Ed’s upcoming book, and let me tell you — whoopee ding dong doo. Who care? If there’s no cute pussy cat on the cover, I don’t give a mizzet’s ass* about Ed’s books. (Notice the cute little asterisk? It means there’s a footnote. I’ve never used one before […]

Effing Feline honors Felicette the cat #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am about to reveal the TRUE STORY of space exploration, inspired by the recent 50th anniversary of reaching the moon. I won’t use mere words, either. Words, after all, are a human invention and thus flawed. Instead, I’ll use photos and historical footage to show that cats are the true astronauts . […]

Effing Feline visits Gettysburg #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, told you the catty truth last week about the French Revolution. That’s not the only famous historical event that actually starred felines rather than humans. Another example — the American Civil War. The Civil Wariness of puddy tats is proven by an entire museum devoted to the war’s catfights. I swear on […]

Effing Feline tells Bastille Day truth #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, may lie down a few dozen times a day, but I never lie! Therefore you can trust me when I tell you the TRUTH about today, which France’s National Day. Bastille Day commemorates 14 July 1789, a turning point of the French Revolution. The TRUTH? The revolution was all about cats! Marie Antoinette? […]

Effing Feline, cover artist #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, was in charge of the poll to select a title for Ed’s WIP: Love thy Galactic Enemy. Titles are one of the most important things to sell books, along with book covers. Since Ed does such a lousy job of both, I’m hereby seizing charge of the cover, too. Smart, eh? This […]

Effing Feline is out of the bag #wewriwa

Now available for pre-order! I, Effing Feline, am getting double catnip this week. Mew mew! Why? Because I’m the official emcee who is to announce the winner of the poll to choose the name of Ed’s next book! (You didn’t vote? Well, tough furballs. It’s too late.) Human emcees use envelopes to hold the results. […]

Effing Feline diets #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, told you my greatest ambition awhile back — namely, to become this 35-pound chap: But Ed, dam his writerly flow, took me to the vet. The vet said I’m already too fat. And she put me on a diet! I’ve outsmarted her, though, and Ed, too. I’ll tell you how after this […]

Effing Feline needs help! #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, do NOT need help, no matter what the title of this post says. I am perfect as is, or as close to perfection as you humans will ever hear purr. But Ed . . . Let me tell you, that man needs help. Seriously. He’s written a whole book but he doesn’t […]

Effing Feline’s greatest ambition #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am the kind of amazingly complex character you authors can only dream of creating. I have more depth than any cat who ever lived. I am a stable genius, yet also a fierce hunter — and I’m humble, to boot. But am I satisfied with my perfection? Never! I have yearnings, aspirations, […]

Effing Feline’s PSA #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, hate heat. I know, I know — most cats love heat so much they’ll lie on a radiator in a sunny window. All I can say is they’ve never done it in Arizona. I tried it . . . once. Here’s what I looked like afterward. Viewer discretion advised. If you have […]