Category Effing Feline

Effing Feline leaves a tip #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, have spent the last month trying to become independent of humans by learning how to open cat food cans. I’ve decided there’s an easier way, though — Let Ed open the cans, fill my bowl, and clean the bowl when I’m done. What’s that you say? That’s what I was doing before? There’s […]

Effing Feline sucks it up #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, never give up. I’m still trying to become independent of humans by open cat food cans myself. But then I thought “I don’t need to open them all the way, just a tiny little bit. But, you ask, how will I get the cat food out with a hole too small for […]

Effing Feline sobs #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am still trying to become independent of humans by learning how to open cat food cans. Last week, I hit on the brilliant idea of chucking a spear at the can to burst it open. There’s just one little problem. Without  opposable thumbs, I can’t hold the spear to throw it. But […]

Effing Feline chucks a spear #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, have told you of my desire to become independent. The first step is to figure out how to open cat food cans, and I believe I’ve solved the problem — with a typical display of genius, if may say so. All I have to do is hit the can with something sharp, […]

Effing Feline says Beep beep! #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, told you last week that I’m determined to become independent — which means I have to figure out how to open cat food cans. Being a wily, observant cat, I got plenty of ideas from one of grandson Wesley’s TV shows. I’ll tell you about them after this commercial break from our […]

Effing Feline declares independence #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, complained about not being able to open cat food cans . . . but Twiggles the Dog laughed at my complaint. She said pets like us get food in exchange for love, loyalty, and a pledge to defend our beloved owners with our own lives if necessary. But I am NOT a […]

Effing Feline tries telekinesis #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, changed my name last week to Efrem Thimbalist Jr. After sleeping on it, though, I’ve decided the name isn’t classy enough. I’m still thinking long and hard of name splendid enough for a cat like me who can do anything. Anything, that is, except for one crucial thing, which I’ll tell you […]

Effing Feline renames himself #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am snippeting from a book that Ed is revisiting, renaming, and re-covering, It used to be called The Midas Rush. Now it isn’t.  I’m feeling cantankerous — it’s been a whole hour since my last nap — so I’ll be effed if I tell you the new name right away. Tresky Buffrum […]

Effing Feline doesn’t want to look back #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, don’t believe in this human nonsense of reviewing the year that is ending. You wouldn’t want to look behind either if the only tool you had to wipe your butt was your tongue. The view ain’t great. Christmas is over and so are the snippets from Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker. […]

From Effing Feline’s species to yours #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, am too busy to write — Christmas presents to claw open, cards to send.  I hope I have enough pee for Twiggles the Dog’s card! Instead, here are some Christmas greetings from my species to yours. Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker is Ed’s sci fi novella for the holidays. Holly Jansen […]