Category Effing Feline

Effing Feline hisses

I, Effing Feline, hate the kitten next door. My sometimes friend, Twiggles the dog, is allowed outside even though I’m not. Yesterday the kitten came right up to the floor-to-ceiling window and drank from Twiggles’ water bowl — and Ed thought it was cute!  He took pictures! Grr, hiss! I’m sharing another snippet from Mr V’s […]

Effing Feline spreads tuna fish

I, Effing Feline, am washing myself. Ed gave me the remnants of his tuna sandwich, and I love tuna.  Now I’m washing myself to spread the glorious aroma all over my body. I’m sharing another snippet from Mr V’s SF romance, Escapee. After their remote mining moon is attack by enemies, Catt Sayer, the crusty captain […]

Effing Feline wants the kitten to scoot

I, Effing Feline, told you that the neighbors have a cute new kitten. Yesterday the kitty hopped over the wall into MY yard. Worse, it paraded up and down in front of the floor to ceiling window in the family room begging to be let in. The dumb kitten wanted into MY house. I hissed […]

Effing Feline wants to delete pictures

I, Effing Feline, told you that the neighbors have a new kitten. A so-called cute kitten, though in truth she’s as ugly as a puppy.  Yesterday, Mrs V made things worse. When the kitten jumped onto the wall separating the yard, she took her cellphone outside to take pictures of the kitten. This means war, […]

Effing Feline hates the neighbors

I, Effing Feline, hate the neighbors.  They used to have a tomcat too old and fat to leap over the wall into MY yard.  The only thing I hated about him was that he was an outdoor cat, while I’m a house cat, too valuable to be allowed outside in a region populated by coyotes […]

Effing Feline gets the bird

I, Effing Feline, dreamt I chased a bird — and caught it! I don’t know how I got outside.  That’s the way of dreams, you know?  Birds love the olive tree with seven trunks outside our floor-to-ceiling window, and in my dream I saw the world’s biggest bird sitting in the tree.  I leaped.  Extended […]

Effing Feline celebrates Canada Day

I, Effing Feline, wish you a happy Canada Day. What’s that you say? You didn’t know July 1 is Canada Day? And you know nothing about Canada? In truth, there’s only one thing you need to know. It’s cold, so there are radiators. We cats love radiators. Today, another snippet from Ed’s WIP, Secrets of Love […]

Effing Feline is sleepy

I, Effing Feline, am exhausted.  You see, I stayed up all night kneading my claws on Ed’s leg and chasing a ping-pong ball around his bedroom and playing with him by jumping on the bed to enjoy his startled yelps.  Now, in the glare of daylight, I’m typing this with one eye half open. Today, […]

Effing Feline remembers dad

I, Effing Feline, am taking a break from improving improvements to the English language, but I promise I’ll return to the topic.  Instead, I want to dedicate today’s post to the best cat-goned cat I ever met: Tom.  My dad. Sniff.  Dear old dad. He went out like a true hero, like a true CAT, […]

Effing Feline improves English

I, Effing Feline, decreed last week that CATastrophe should become DOGtastrophe. The world listened — of course! A Google search yields 2,680 results — and if you don’t believe me, Google it yourself. Building on my success, I hereby decree that: cataclysm is now dogaclysm catatonic is now dogatonic caterwaul is now doggerwaul Expect more improvements […]