Category Effing Feline

Effing Feline hates fixers

I, Effing Feline, cannot celebrate Father’s Day, as I’m not a father . . .  because against my will, I was “fixed.” Grr, hiss! I’m choosing another snippet from Ed’s WIP, a near-future SFR novel titled Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. Penniless and desperate, twenty-something Audra lets a Kwadran construction worker guide her up a wilderness mountain […]

Effing Feline peers into the wolf’s mouth

I, Effing Feline, think English is weird. Take the saying “Never look a gift horse in the mouth.” Why shouldn’t you? You can tell a lot by looking in a horse’s mouth, like its age and health. Right, Hywela? “Gift cats,” of course, are different. Don’t expect a gift from a cat. Instead, shower your cat […]

Effing Feline teases dogs #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, hate the cat videos on Youtube. Instead of glorifying my glorious species, they portray us as creatures to laugh at. That is so misguided. If you silly humans really must laugh at some animal, laugh at dogs instead! Ed is working on rewrites of his near-future SFR tentatively titled Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. Audra […]

Effing Feline celebrates Memorial Day #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, know that tomorrow is Memorial Day, a patriot US holiday. In honor of said patriotism, I dug out my sun glasses honoring the US and the other nations in Mr V’s heritage. How many of these flags do you recognize? The first two are easy — along with Great Britain’s Union Jack, […]

Effing Feline pees on that #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, am livid with rage! I’ve discovered that some jerk has stolen MY money. Last week I showed you one of my greatest poems. You have to admit, it would’ve made a great book. But what did I learn? Some jerk has stolen my greatness and made a litter box full of money […]

Effing Feline lets a dog speak #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, feel lazy, so I’m turning this week’s post over to my pet humans’ pet canine, Twiggles the Dog. Try not to laugh too hard. Ha ha ha ha! TWIGGLES: Good day, my dearest ladies and gentlemen. I, your unworthy and obsequious host, hope that you will excuse my inexperienced writing and lack […]

Effing Feline disdains maps #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, don’t need a map to find my food bowl. So what use are maps, anyway? To cats, no use at all. Nonetheless, I suppose I should have explained the map I showed last week. Kwadra is an alternate Earth’s Vancouver Island. The Kwadrans “hopped” their island to our Earth when the environment […]

Effing Feline wishes for . . . ?

I, Effing Feline, think that the saying “Be careful what you wish for” applies only to humans, not cats. For example, Mrs Valentine (Ed’s wife) wished for cool weather during her recent trip from Arizona to Toronto to visit the two sons who live there. What she got was freezing rain, snow, and frigid temperatures. Be […]

Effing Feline prefers *fresh* salmon

I, Effing Feline, talked last week about whether my potent feline allergens made any of my fans itch over the Internet. Today I’d like to talk about something I’m allergic to. Cat food. Oh, it doesn’t make my body itch or anything like that. But it does make my pride itch. Sneeze, even. I am […]

Effing Feline sends you allergens #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, was delighted last week when people complained about me ending my selections from Ed’s sci fi romance, Rescuing Prince Charming, on a cliffhanger. You see, I’m not one of those spineless lap cats who seek only to please. No way! The laps I prefer belong to: People who hate cats. People who […]