Category Effing Feline

Effing Feline remembers dad

I, Effing Feline, am taking a break from improving improvements to the English language, but I promise I’ll return to the topic.  Instead, I want to dedicate today’s post to the best cat-goned cat I ever met: Tom.  My dad. Sniff.  Dear old dad. He went out like a true hero, like a true CAT, […]

Effing Feline improves English

I, Effing Feline, decreed last week that CATastrophe should become DOGtastrophe. The world listened — of course! A Google search yields 2,680 results — and if you don’t believe me, Google it yourself. Building on my success, I hereby decree that: cataclysm is now dogaclysm catatonic is now dogatonic caterwaul is now doggerwaul Expect more improvements […]

Effing Feline dislikes catastrophes

I, Effing Feline, resent all the negative words that begin with CAT, like CATastrophe. How dare you humans conflate puddy tats with disaster! I propose a long overdue change.  Henceforth, CATastrophe, shall be DOGtastrophe. I expect all of you to implement this change immediately, using search-and-replace to correct this word in all your manuscripts. In […]

Effing Feline has the heart of a Jedi

I, Effing Feline, sniffed the stench of skepticism and, worse, condescension about my post last week, explaining the feline origins of Star Wars. Woe unto ye of little faith — more proof follows this advertisement for my human pet’s WIP, tentatively titled Secrets of Love and War. Cynthia O’Connor is accompanying a youthful alien clan sister, […]

Effing Feline loves the original Star Wars

I, Effing Feline, find today’s snippet inspiring. Invading an alien world … sigh.  My fur rises at the very idea.  I’m sure the invading spaceships in the snippet are being flown by fearsome felines. After all, everybody knows that George Lucas stole the idea for Star Wars from cats. Here’s the inspiring snippet from Ed’s […]

Effing Feline honors his mum

I, Effing Feline, want to honor my mummie. Problem is, I don’t really remember her. Based on the best evidence I have, though — namely her offspring, ME — I can extrapolate what she must look like.  Strong, noble, powerful, like so: Today, another snippet from Secrets of Love and War, Mr V’s current WIP. We’re continuing where […]

Effing Feline says humans are lazy

I, Effing Feline, have recuperated from the trauma of seeing pictures of Willie (at right), a previous family cat. Turns out he was actually Ed’s daughter’s cat, who cohabited here because Beth still lived at home. That means I’m still #1, right? Ed wants me to switch to a new project. He says he “needs the […]

Effing Feline trembles in the face of time

I, Effing Feline, saw some pictures today of a previous family cat, Willie. He was a handsome black and white feline, large, disdainful, and masculine (though ‘fixed’). Yet I find the pics profoundly disturbing.  There was a cat before me? There will be cats after me? My mind rebels against the utter absurdity of time and […]

Effing Feline celebrates earth day

I, Effing Feline, love Earth Day. I love to gaze out the window at our beautiful Earth. I love the birds and the lizards, especially, the birds, and I dream of getting outside so I can catch and scratch and maul Mother Earth’s lovely creatures! Today, another selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Tompa’s trial […]

Effing Feline sleeps

I, Effing Feline, enjoyed a vacation this week. No typing. No fighting with my editors. You see, Ed was in hospital for five days, and without my hard taskmaster, I did what cats do best. I slept. Today, another selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Navy policeman Dante Roussel has turned Tompa Lee over […]