Category #8Sunday

Effing Feline wishes for . . . ?

I, Effing Feline, think that the saying “Be careful what you wish for” applies only to humans, not cats. For example, Mrs Valentine (Ed’s wife) wished for cool weather during her recent trip from Arizona to Toronto to visit the two sons who live there. What she got was freezing rain, snow, and frigid temperatures. Be […]

Effing Feline prefers *fresh* salmon

I, Effing Feline, talked last week about whether my potent feline allergens made any of my fans itch over the Internet. Today I’d like to talk about something I’m allergic to. Cat food. Oh, it doesn’t make my body itch or anything like that. But it does make my pride itch. Sneeze, even. I am […]

Effing Feline sends you allergens #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, was delighted last week when people complained about me ending my selections from Ed’s sci fi romance, Rescuing Prince Charming, on a cliffhanger. You see, I’m not one of those spineless lap cats who seek only to please. No way! The laps I prefer belong to: People who hate cats. People who […]

Effing Feline lusts after the white cat

I, Effing Feline, endure a plethora of problematic, possibly painful possibilities. Case in point: Ed (Mr V, my pet human) plays the oboe. All you need to know about the oboe is that it’s LOUD. But lately he’s been practicing some music I love. Next week, his group will be in the pit for a […]

Effing Feline hates palm sundays #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, heard that today is Palm Sunday. Since Mr V has a palm tree out front, and because I am a Cat of Great Curiosity, I decided to sample this holy treat. I got a palm frond . . . . . . and some ice cream . . . . . . […]

Effing Feline is shattered #8sunday

I, Effing Feline, am shattered. Struck down. Disconsolate. Last week I tried unsuccessfully to share my revulsion for people who love dogs, not cats. Imagine my horror when Mr Valentine (Ed H, my pet human) confessed that HE IS NOT A CAT PERSON!!! He loves both cat and dogs, if you can imagine such a […]

Effing Feline doesn’t love dog lovers #Sunday

I, Effing Feline, wish Brett a happy birthday! Brett is the third of Mr V’s four children, and his petting  hand is gentle and loving, even if he’s a dog person. There. I’ve done my familial duty. Now I can tell you my REAL feelings about dog people! I feel that — Sigh. Once again, I’m […]

Effing Feline documents animal cruelty #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, told you last week about my hard, hard life, having to put up with a seven-month-old baby. To show you what I mean, I’ve found a monstrous video showing some of the torture babies perpetrate on us poor cats. I won’t show you the video until after today’s snippet. You would be […]

Effing Feline hates babies #8Sunday

I, Effing Feline, live a hard, hard life. To whit, four days a week, when Mrs V (with occasional help from Mr V) babysits their two grandchildren, I must suffer a seven-month-old baby. I’ve taught the four-year-old about my claws; Wesley treats me graciously. But the seven-month old! Quel horreur! Young Logan likes to grab […]

Effing Feline’s most fun ever

I, Effing Feline, am struck by a line in the snippet I’ve chosen for your delectation today: she’d never had so much fun in her whole life as in the last ten minutes It made me think what is the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. It was the first time I xxxxxxx […]