Effing Feline hates cheerleaders #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, spent last night in Twiggles the dog’s doghouse. At first I was terrified of fleas, but I didn’t get bitten. Then I was afraid of ticks. But then I heard something that drove all fears out of my cunning feline mind — the coo-coo-ca-choo of a mourning dove..

As you know, I’m a house cat who watches bird only through a window. I’ve never tasted one, nor caught one, nor even smelled one. And now one was right if front of me, in dining distance.

I’ll tell you how I fared after this word from my sponsor, Ed’s most recent release, Pandora Uncaged, Pandora is surprised by a visit from Aidan, an old friend from her teenage years. He asks about a new creature he’s heard about, called a mobeave.

A couple of the syllabahs were blooming. The flowers were brown and insignificant to look at, but the smell! In the words of an Eastie poet, To smell the syllabahs is to partake of heaven.

“I’m sorry, Aidan, but pretty much everything about the mobeave is a secret until folks with more political savvy than me decide the best way to spread word of their existence.

“According to Booker, I’m now Westerlin’s official representative here at Quak.”

“Really? Then you’ll be here a while.” Her brow wrinkled as though trying to decide if this was welcome news. She smiled. “I’m glad, I think, but don’t do anything to make me regret it. If you promise not to blab, I’ll show you the mobeave.”

Effing Feline here again. Cousin Lee, who’s a lion, was watching from inside the house as I crept stealthily toward the dove, who just pecked at the ground. A few more steps and I can pounce. I’m there. Ready.

Set . . .

Cousin Lee urged me on. “Go get ’em, Effing! You can do this!”

Being a lion, the words came out as an ear-splitting roar, which frightened away every dove and gila woodpecker and mockingbird. They all flew away . . . including my dinner.


Be sure to check out the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Pandora Uncaged

Book Two in the Passion Island Trilogy — A friends-to-lovers future romance

Pandora Dayle is her family’s disgraced black sheep. Ten years after running away from home, she’s rebuilt her self-respect at an isolated facility for saving animals native to the colony’s planet. Her redemption feels as fragile as a dream, but she’ll be okay if nothing traumatic happens.

But when the best friend from her innocent youth arrives, her insecurities mushroom.

Aidan used to be Pandora’s best friend. Since his teen years, he’s held heroic jobs—police officer and now Search and Rescue leader. He adored innocent young Pandora so much he compares every woman to her idealized memory, and finds them wanting.

But when he rediscovers the real thing, she’s not at all what he expected.

Booker, a naïve Apprentice Cupid for a secret organization, receives his second assignment: get Pandora and Aidan to mate. They’d been close friends, so his strategy is simple: He flies Aidan to her island and tells him to impregnate Pandora.

What could possibly go wrong?

Pandora Uncaged is available at these fine sites. Order yours today.



  1. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    I guess Effing is going to have to try again without Lee around.

    And I wonder how the mobeave will react to Aiden.

    1. If he can keep it in its cage, he should be fine.

  2. Catching birds is a bit of work anyway. Get Ed to give you already-caught chicken instead!

    1. Your suggestion makes sense, but it fails to take Effing’s killer instincts into account,

  3. nancygideon · · Reply

    I thinks she’s right to trust him but I understand her reluctance. Secrets have a way of slipping their tethers.

    My three cats have been experiencing the same temptations . . . at the end of their leashes. No little birdie feet in this household unless they’re being used by a bird!

    1. She has conflicting feelings about trusting him, that’s for sure.

  4. Ah the mysterious mobeave! Enjoyed the snippet, lots of layers being added onto the story…

    1. Thanks, Veronica!

  5. Cara Hartley · · Reply

    Ah well, Cousin Lee was trying to be encouraging.
    I’m looking forward to meeting the mobeave!
    ~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~

    1. In trying to help, though, Lee didn’t help . . . except the birds. He helped them.

  6. Interesting that the mobeave needs a PR person.

    Dining on doves is bad for the karma, Effing. Cousin Lee might have saved you from eternal remorse!

    1. Unlike dogs, cats are biologically incapable of remorse.

  7. Of course, he won’t make her regret this. lol

    But, wasn’t the adventure something, Effing??? ~Sigh~. I guess you’ll just have to get your human pet, Ed, to use his very human hands with opposing thumbs, to open some cans of cat food–since your dinner flew away. 🙂

    1. I don’t think Effing cares for adventure. It’s blood he wants.

  8. hope he gets to meet the mobeave.

    Glad the lion roared so the bird got away.

    1. I wonder if the lion’s roar would scare the mobeave.

  9. I’m curious to learn about the mobeave too.

    One of the neighborhood cats I help with taking care of, Ginger, recently did a really quick, sudden lunge at a few birds, but they managed to fly away even quicker.

    1. Birds are really good at noticing danger and flying away. At least the ones who’re still alive, that is.

  10. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    I can’t wait tto know more about this mobeav.

    1. Tune in again next week, then!

  11. So sorry, Effing. I’m sure your inner hunter is terribly disappointed, but I’m sure the doves will return–eventually–and you can try again, without Cousin Lee’s encouragement!

    I’m not sure it’s a good idea for her to show him the mobeave. Is she perhaps trying to impress him? Hmmm? Great snippet, Ed!

  12. I’m curious how the mobeave is adjusting to captivity.

    Maybe Effing needs to encourage Cousin Lee to head back home? Seems the lion is cramping the cat’s style.

  13. Well, she trusts him. That’s a good sign 🙂

  14. “Two people can keep a secret as long as one of them is dead.”

    I’m really curious about the mobeave and why it’s such a secret.

    I also want to know why Effing had to spend the night in the doghouse.

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