Effing Feline is so darned brilliant #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, am so very smart! Brilliant even!

I told you last week that my cousin Lee ate every last bit of cat food and then stared at me while licking his chops. Lee is a lion and I, though exceptionally fit, muscular, and ferocious, am a housecat. It was easy to realize he was wondering how I’d taste with ketchup catsup.

But I’m also brilliant, so I outsmarted him, and it was the most shiny thing I’ve ever done in my glistening career. I’ll tell you what I did after this word from my sponsor, Pandora Uncaged.

Last week, search and rescue leader Aidan Forester, was awakened in the middle of the night by a seven-foot tall stranger who flies him to meet his best childhood friend, Pandora Dayle. The stranger (who is an apprentice Cupid for a secret organization) speaks first.

“I am from Flanders Island, Miss Dayle, an insignificant dot in the Landfall Island Archipelago.”

Pandy spoke quickly, trying to keep the conversation away from the mobeave. “And you came all the way from there just to fly Aidan around? That makes little sense, unless he’s become important beyond all his old ambitions.”

Aidan shook his head. “I’m still the same unassuming guy with modest ambitions.”

Booker cleared his throat, making it sound like a scoff.

Pandora looked from one man to the other. “Then why’re you here? We don’t get many visitors.”

And a few more but not too many. I know you have a lot of snippets to get to.

Instead of answering, Aidan nodded to Booker. “Care to explain?” Then he added to her, “Coming here was his idea. I apologize, but I’d totally lost track of you.”

“No,” Booker said. “I look forward to seeing you handle this. You have the reputation of being adept at talking to women.”

Aidan frowned and shook his head. “As I said, this was his idea. He woke me in the middle of the night and flew me here in order to…”

He let his voice fade away. He spread his hands as though trying to disclaim all responsibility. Then he took a deep breath and gave an apologetic shrug. “He wants me to get you pregnant.”

Effing Feline here again. Know how I outsmarted Cousin Lee? It was really diabolically clever of me, if I do say so myself, because it kills two birds with one stone. I’m purring with delight at my own sly cleverness.

I introduced Lee to my often obnoxious housemate who doesn’t mind being covered with ketchup — Twiggles the Dog! Heh, heh, heh. Gosh darn it, am I smart or what?

Buh-bye Twiggy!

Be sure to check out the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Pandora Uncaged

Book Two in the Passion Island Trilogy — A friends-to-lovers future romance

Pandora Dayle is her family’s disgraced black sheep. Ten years after running away, she’s rebuilt her self-respect at an isolated facility for saving animals native to the colony’s planet. Her redemption feels as fragile as a dream, but she’ll be okay if nothing traumatic happens.

But when the best friend from her innocent youth arrives, her insecurities mushroom.

Aidan used to be Pandora’s best friend. Since his teen years, he’s held heroic jobs—police officer and now Search and Rescue leader. He adored innocent young Pandora so much he compares every woman to her idealized memory, and finds them wanting.

But when he rediscovers the real thing, she’s not at all what he expected.

Booker, a naïve Apprentice Cupid for a secret organization, receives his second assignment: get Pandora and Aidan to mate. They’d been close friends, so his strategy is simple: He flies Aidan to her island and tells him to impregnate Pandora.

What could possibly go wrong?

Pandora Uncaged is available at these fine sites. Order yours today.

27 comments

  1. Oh … okay. That’s quite a task … or not. Can’t wait to read how she’s going to react.

    1. Let me ask you this, Iris. If a childhood friend you hadn’t seen in fifteen years showed up and announced his assignment is to get you pregnant, how would you feel?

      1. Well, it depends on which childhood friend would turn up for the task … 😉

  2. I doubt that one small dog would satisfy Cousin Lee’s appetite…!

    1. So you think Cousin Lee should eat both Twiggles AND Effing?

  3. nancygideon · · Reply

    LOL! Now that’s a blunt fact most wouldn’t lead with! Can’t wait to hear her response.

    Naughty, Efffing. I hope my cats aren’t reading this or poor ole Taffy might become lunch.

    1. Yep, a very blunt fact — and yet he has a reputation of being adept at talking to women. Hah!

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Poor Twiggles!

    And I’m curious what Pandora’s reaction to that statement will be.

    1. Well, I’ll tell you this much — she isn’t delighted.

  5. Now that’s a bombshell of a last line.
    Tweeted.

    1. Booker, who is an apprentice Cupid, has a lot to learn about the finer points of his trade.

  6. Cara Hartley · · Reply

    Sorry if this is a duplicate comment. WordPress is being crummy again.
    Does he end up flat on his back with a black eye in the next scene? Because that’s how any guy who said that to me would wind up.
    ~Cie from Naughty Netherworld Press~

    1. LOL.
      Although it seems painfully blunt, Aidan’s admission is actually somewhat sophisticated. He gets to blame Booker and get it out in the open at a time of his choosing, rather than keeping it a secret that could leak out at a worse moment.

  7. I can’t believe he told her that! But the fact he did tells me volumes about Aidan’s character! Can’t wait for her reply!

    Effing, you’d better be careful or you and the dog will end up as the first and second courses for Lee!

    1. Hopefully her reply will tell volumes about her character, as well.

  8. Lololol! I LOVE that last para! That is outstanding. Just bought it. 🙂

    1. You bought it? Then you’re my new most favoritest person in the world!

  9. Can’t wait to hear her reaction and my question (if I were her) would probably be WHY did he agree to this? Quite a situation you’ve got set up…great snippet. Impactful.

    1. A lot of the time I think of the meet-cute before anything else. This is one of those examples.

  10. Ha, Ha! Well, I’m glad he just got that out in the open. Awaiting the fireworks.

    Run, Twiggles, run!

    1. I wonder if Twiggles is fast enough to outrun a lion . . .

  11. Diane Burton · · Reply

    I love the last line. 🙂

    Effing, you are too darn smart.

    1. You’re agreeing with Effing, and darned near quoting him. You realize, don’t you, that this isn’t good? Not good at all!

  12. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    Wow, that’s certainly a last line to remember.

    1. Booker did a good thing in getting them back together, but then he drops this bomb on them. It’s a biggies, all right.

  13. I didn’t expect that. I’m looking forward to her response.

    1. It’s safe to say Pandora didn’t expect it, either.

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