I, Effing Feline, find it tedious to explain things that every cat just knows. You humans get Christmas all wrong.
For example, the day after Christmas. In much of the world, it’s called Boxing Day. In case you don’t know it, that’s a Feline holiday — the day we get to play with all the boxes and wrappings left over from Christmas. So, for all you neat freaks who want to clean up around the tree — don’t. Let your cats play, first!
I continue to tear apart — or as Ed calls it, take snippets from — book 2 of Ed’s Passion Island Trilogy. You’ve met Booker, who is an Apprentice Cupid for a secret eugenics organization. In the middle of the night, he flies Aidan Forester to the remote island where his childhood girlfriend, Pandora, has worked for six years.
In his snippet, Aidan asks Booker why he’s doing this.
“What is it you want me to do? Pandora is one of the best people I’ve ever known, so I warn you, I won’t betray her just because she’s an Eastie and I’m a Westerner.”
Before answering, Booker checked instrument lights on the dashboard and set the automatic pilot. When he turned in his seat to face Aidan, orange light from the instruments cast shadows over his face from below. He looked demonic. Aidan tensed.
But Booker’s words were hesitant. “How can I put this without sounding like some sort of . . . crazy maniac? It’s not the sort of thing one usually asks, you know. Or rather tells. Yes, tells, because it’s very important. You know what I mean, don’t you?”
Frowning, Aidan shook his head
“Oh, dear. Well, then, for the good of the human race, I wish that you — or rather, we wish it, and I’m afraid we must insist — we wish for you to impregnate Pandora Dayle.”
Effing Feline here again. I know it’s not of interest to anyone, but my pet human, Ed, got a belated Christmas present. It turns out he’s been exposed to Covid (whatever that is). The exhibitionist who exposed him is none other than (get this!) his doctor. Now Ed awaits the results of a test of some sort.
Is the test yet another present? Not fair. I want another present, too!
Pandora Dayle is her family’s black sheep. She’s rebuilt her battered self-respect by working at an isolated facility for saving animals, but her redemption feels as fragile as a dream. She’ll be okay, though, if nothing traumatic happens.
But when the best friend from her innocent childhood arrives, her insecurities mushroom.
Aidan used to be Pandora’s best friend. As an adult, he’s been a policeman and now a Search and Rescue leader. He adored innocent young Pandora so much he judges every woman by her idealized memory . . . and finds them wanting.
But when he rediscovers the real thing, she’s not at all what he expected.
Booker, a naïve Apprentice Cupid for a secret organization, receives his second assignment: get Pandora and Aidan to mate. It should be easy, because they were best friends fifteen years ago. His strategy: Fly Aidan to her island and tell him to impregnate her.
What could possibly go wrong?