Effing Feline explains Christmas part 1 #wewriwa

I, Effing Feline, find it tedious to explain things that every cat just knows. You humans get Christmas all wrong. You buy a tree with branches that are very close together so you can hang up lots of cat toys.

So far, so good. But you put some of the best cat toys waaay up top so they’re hard to play with. What’s up with that?

I continue to tear apart — or as Ed calls it, take snippets from — book 2 of Ed’s Passion Island Trilogy. Editorial schedules dictate a February release.

Two weeks ago, we met Pandora Dayle, who prowled the cages of a wildlife sanctuary for animals native to planet Addoray.

Last week, we met the hero, Aidan, who’s been roused in the middle of the night by a mysterious stranger who flies him to the remote island where Pandora works.

This week, we meet the book’s third major player, Booker — the mysterious, seven-foot tall stranger. Also, his cohort, the even more mysterious blind woman known only as Mentor.

Even with his long legs, the walk from Booker’s office in the Project’s Cupid Wing to hers in the Admin Tunnel took twenty-five minutes. The route was so convoluted he’d needed to load a map into his internal database to find it. Her office was isolated from everything, but then, everything about Mentor was strange.

So strange that Booker fidgeted in front of her door for a few minutes. There was no name on it. If you didn’t already know who sat behind the massive door, you had no right even to knock.

In a way, he didn’t know who sat behind the door — didn’t know her name, that was — but he nonetheless had every right to knock. She was his Mentor, assigned to train him in the fine art of bringing lovers together. In other words, to become —

A Cupid.

Effing Feline here again. I’m proud to report, that intrepid cats everywhere have overcome human stupidity. Any Christmas tree that’s too hard to climb will end up like this one:

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Pandora Uncaged

Tentative title, tentative blurb

Pandora Dayle is her family’s black sheep. She’s rebuilt her battered self-respect by working at an isolated facility for saving animals, but her redemption feels as fragile as a dream. She’ll be okay, though, if nothing traumatic happens.

But when the best friend from her innocent childhood arrives, her insecurities mushroom.

Aidan used to be Pandora’s best friend. As an adult, he’s been a policeman and now a Search and Rescue leader. He adored innocent young Pandora so much he judges every woman by her idealized memory . . . and finds them wanting.

But when he rediscovers the real thing, she’s not at all what he expected.

Booker, a naïve Apprentice Cupid for a secret organization, receives his second assignment: get Pandora and Aidan to mate. It should be easy, because they were best friends fifteen years ago. His strategy: Fly Aidan to her island and tell him to impregnate her.

What could possibly go wrong?

38 comments

  1. The second image is clearly fabricated. No cat would ever look that alarmed and guilty!

    The book continues to sound intriguing!

    1. You’re right Lisabet. I imagine the guilty cat was in truth wearing a sly, satisfied grin.

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    A cupid-in-training! I like that idea!

    Growing up, our cats were more interested in what was under the tree than what was in it. Guess our Christmas decorations weren’t interesting enough.

    1. While I was growing up, we had a cat — Pussywillow — who liked to pee on the Christmas tree skirt. Pew!

  3. Loved the cat and xmas tree pics! My family had one cat that knocked over the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve! Nothing like training to be the next cupid! Fun snippet!

    1. I’ll bet that cat got coal in her stocking that Christmas!

  4. Of course Cupid HQ would be mysterious and labyrinthine, just like the emotion they champion.

    Effing, I was considerate of my kittens this year and got a small tree, so they could destroy at will.

    1. You are now officially Effing’s favorite human . . . at least until he’s hungry and you aren’t here to feed him.

  5. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Cupid, draw back your bow…and let your arrow go…straight to my lover’s heart for me, nobody but me! 😀 You’re welcome for the Sam Cooke earworm. Effing, I get you. That tree had it coming.

    1. I’ve heard better renditions of that song (you were flat one places, though mostly you’re sharp), but thanks for the thought.

  6. Your blurb has a hilarious ending. Also. I loved Effing’s Christmas pictures.

    1. Would you believe there are scads of pictures on the ‘net of cats climbing Xmas trees? Yeah, you probably would.

  7. Loved it, lots of mystery and details! Great snippet….

    1. As always, thanks for stopping by!

  8. Lots of good hijinks!!! And I liked the snippet too. 🙂

    1. It’s hard for a mere written story to compete with cats an Christmas trees.

  9. What an intriguing premise – he’s going to become a cupid. 🙂
    Tweeted.

    1. A cupid with a twist, though!

  10. Interesting that Cupid has an internal database for location, like an android, yet has emotions and other inabilities, like a human.

    1. Hmm. This comment makes me realize I never developed this idea. Keep it or kill it? Hmm.

      1. If that ability does not play out in the story or it is never mentioned again, then I’d say kill it.

  11. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    Lol not so sure just telling someone to impregnate some is all that simple! That cat in the photo looks like my youngest one lol.

    1. Indeed. Its’s a measure of Booker’s naivete that he even makes the suggestion.

  12. I like where this is going … and loved the pic 🙂

    1. I’m not sure Pandora will like it, though.

  13. nancygideon · · Reply

    I love the premise for this book and look forward to more snippets. Even with three cats, our tree is still standing ornaments attached. Don’t let Efffing talk to them!

    1. You think Effing might corrupt your sweet little innocent puddy tats?
      Yeah, I think you’re right.

  14. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    Loved all the details.

    1. In all fiction, but science fiction and fantasy in particular, if you have no details you no setting. By definition people have never been on planet Addoray and have no idea what it’s like.

  15. I’m fortunate that my cats have never shown any interest in the Christmas tree – although they do regularly eat/knock over my houseplants.

    As a Cupid-in-training, I’m guessing Booker is still making a lot of mistakes in his matchmaking. I’m looking forward to reading this and finding out what they are.

    1. For one thing, Booker needs to learn a bit of diplomacy.

  16. I love it. I’m intrigued to know what is involved in learning how to be a cupid.
    One of my cats—when she was a kitten—climb out tree and got tangled in the lights. It was a good thing we were home.

    1. I surprised the kitten didn’t try it again. I love cats, but learning things isn’t their strong point.

  17. Despite the probably hundreds of cats I’ve had over my lifetime, we’ve never had one climb a Christmas tree. They have batted at low hanging balls, but no destruction so far, thank goodness.

    Looks like your apprentice Cupid is going into the lion’s den–I wonder what he’ll find. Is Mentor’s reputation hype or the real thing? Can’t wait to find out!

    1. Hundreds of cats??? Even Effing’s jaw dropped.

  18. Cara Hartley · · Reply

    I loved this!
    The walk he described reminded me of working at UPS back in the late 1990s. I got lost on the way to the small sort department every time during my first two weeks there because it was such a maze and I have no sense of direction.

    1. Did you ever find your way out, Cara?

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