Effing Feline sends his Easter wishes #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, have heard Ed, my pet human, talking about Easter egg hunts. Since this is Easter Sunday, I think I’ll spend the day dreaming of being able to go outside — I’m a house cat, kept captive forever — and hunt for real eggs. Maybe even a real bird, heh heh heh.

You’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about one that turns people into creative geniuses? Janet Davis, a beautiful 44-year old suburbanite, abandons her husband and her luxurious LA home to risk madness and death on a quarantined island in the northern wilderness.

She’s on a small supply boat and the driver is trying to talk her out of going to Gilford Island.

With a sigh, she looked at the wallet picture he held out to her. Four smiling mouths and eight soulful eyes brimmed with an innocence that made Janet ache. “They’re beautiful.”

He grunted. “Maybe if you had kids you wouldn’t be so damned eager to kill yourself. Look, I know I agreed to break you into the quarantine—but please, don’t do this.”

He was a decent man, a husband and father. Not a sexual predator. Sex with him would be lovemaking, not rape. If she seduced him—and why not a last fling?—they’d do it here in the cabin so she’d be warm and protected. He would slowly disrobe her, hanging her dress across the back of the bench so it wouldn’t wrinkle, taking his time with the clasp of her bra and teasing her with his fingertips as he slowly brushed the straps off her shoulders.

Effing Feline here again. Ed says I was too bloodthirsty in my intro to this post. He said it would’ve been okay (marginally) for Good Friday. Not Easter, though. But I’m a cat, a born hunter, so what does he expect?

Nonetheless, I’ll make an effort to be cute and cuddly in honor of the holiday. (Grumble grumble hiss mutter.)

I hear birds chirping outside. Let me at them! Please!

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Never Saw a Purple Cow

You’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about a virus that turns people into madmen, some of whom become creative geniuses?

Spurred by her husband’s infidelity, a suburban housewife smuggles herself into a wilderness quarantine. She’s hoping to redeem her empty life by writing a great book. But the reality of lifetime exile on an island of madmen — pirates, a suicidal Indian boy, a licentious cult leader — is crueler than any daydream. To survive, she’ll need to adapt.

But how? Nothing in life has prepared her for this.

Grape flavored milk, anyone?

41 comments

  1. I like the sexual fantasy at the end! And the cabin would be the ideal place for love-making!

    1. Much better than out on the deck in Canada in March.

      1. Yes indeed, though some parts of Canada aren’t quite as cold in March.

      2. True, and the BC coast is one of them — but being out on the Pacific in a boat, with wind from the boat’s passage, makes it feel frigid indeed. It’s a similar phenomenon to Niagara Falls in the winter, with the wind generated by the falls. I’ve never felt colder than I did there, even though where I lived after leaving the coast regularly got to -30, and occasionally -40.

        Several times I drove from Clearwater (0 F, -18C) to Vancouver (40 F, 5 C) and felt colder in Vancouver because of the humidity.

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Is that what it would take to convince her not to go there? Though seems she already has her mind made up.

    1. Yes, her mind is made up. Though she has qualms, every time the qualms start to take over, her resolve stiffens.

  3. She is about to have trouble and soon. HELP!

    1. She’s naive about what she’s getting into, but at the same time, her innate smarts will serve her well.

  4. A nice little fantasy before she does something really crazy.
    Tweeted.

    1. She has many fantasies. This is perhaps the nicest.

  5. I like her imagination and the idea of the cabin.

    1. Let’s hope her imagination is good enough for a novelist, which is what she wants to become.

  6. Weird premise. But why is she fantasizing about the driver?

    1. Perhaps the premise is weird, or perhaps not. This virus is performance-enhancing for creativity, sort of like steroids are performance-enhancing for athletes, and I’ve often wondered how many of us would take a risk in order to become great writers.

      That’s the “what if” behind this story: what if there was something risky we creatives could do to make ourselves become superb creatives. How many of us would take that risk? And why?

  7. LOL! Is that his fantasy or hers? 😀 I’d have to know more about her to buy into that she’d suddenly have this fantasy. Not that it’s a bad fantasy at all!

    1. That’s the problem with 10-sentence snippets; you miss all the background showing that her way of handling this risky step is to take herself out of reality by fantasizing like crazy.

  8. She seems to be talking herself into the idea that sleeping with the man in order to manipulate him might not be such a bad thing. But right after he shows here a picture of his family? Complicated woman, she is.

    1. Actually, she’s not trying to manipulate him here. Her manipulation took the form of a cash bribe to take her to Gilford Island. Here’s she fantasizes to escape the reality of what she’s done.

  9. Oh dear, her fantasies and impulses might be getting the better of her. And why is she blithely assuming he’d go along with what she’s thinking? Four kids implies a mother/wife/sweetheart/partner for him to me… This lady needs some reality, quick! But definitely another snippet going in unexpected directions.

    1. This book was drafted several years ago, when I was going through a phase of trying to get into the heads of people who weren’t quite right in the attic. Janet is one of them though she’s not out-and-out crazy . . . yet.

  10. If her husband had been more like this man, she undoubtedly wouldn’t be heading to the island. I fear the fantasy will remain a fantasy–this guy seems the dedicated husband and father type. Ironically, the very type she needs. *sigh*

    1. You’re right — and she wouldn’t do anything even if she could. One of her lesser reasons for going to Gilford is to make her husband feel guilty and shtupping the boatman would make her no better than him.

  11. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    After reading everyone else’s comments, and your responses, the scene makes much more sense. And it’s rather pleasing to the senses, too. 😉

    You are totes adorbs, Effing. Happy Easter!

    1. Hmm. That’s not good, that the scene needs explication.

  12. These fantasies are wild!

    1. Yes, Janet has quite the fantasy life.

  13. Well done with the steamy scene!

    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

    1. I don’t enjoy writing sex scenes. Short snippets like this are fine, though.

  14. What a steamy imagination she has. lol

    1. She hopes to harness that imagination into her writing. Maybe she should write erotica?

  15. Diane Burton · · Reply

    She fantasizing about having a fling with the driver, yet her husband had a fling/affair. Doesn’t she think about that? That she might break up a family? Happy Easter!

    1. Like most people, she knows that fantasies are fantasies, nothing more, so she doesn’t worry about real life consequences.

  16. Nothing wrong with a little fantasy – it’s when the fantasies become reality that can spell trouble! 🙂
    Easter greetings to you and yours, and dear cute Effing too!

    1. Effing says he takes exception to being called ‘dear’ and ‘cute’. He prefers ‘dominating’ and ‘fearsome.’

      1. Hywela Lyn · ·

        LOL – then he really shouldn’t wear those beguiling bunny ears! 🙂

  17. If he’s happily married, most likely all she’ll get is a fantasy.

    1. Actually, that’s all she wants, a fantasy.

  18. Intriguing premise. Will be inerested to see where this goes.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Jeff.

  19. Linda Hamonou · · Reply

    Poor girl, I think she is completely out of it. The guy just showed her a picture of his family and she thinks she can make him cheat on his wife. So funny. Better get going into trouble as fast as possible and not drag other people with her.

    1. This book doesn’t lend itself to 10-sentence chunks that make sense. You’ve seen just one of her fantasies, but she has a lot of them, and she doesn’t expect them to turn real. She’s sort a Walter Mitty type.

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