I, Effing Feline, am the epitome of modesty, but just this once I want to toot my own horn. I’m doing more to help poor quarantined humans than any cat anywhere! What am I doing? Once a week (more often if I screw up my scheduling again) I’m posting never before seen cat videos to lighten your downcast spirits.
When I say never before seen, I mean not seen recently. I’m scouring the web for videos from 6, 7, even 8 years ago. Even if you saw them then, you’ve forgotten them since you’re merely human. I’ll tell you how to find them after this message from my sponsor, Never Saw a Purple Cow.
You’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about one that turns people into geniuses? Janet Davis, a beautiful 44-year old suburbanite, abandons her husband, her luxurious LA home, even her life to risk madness and death on a quarantined island in the northern wilderness. Last week’s snippet ended with the supply boat captain telling Janet, “There’s your tomb, Lady.”
Janet sat straighter and at the same time tried to relax. Tried to pretend this trip was nothing more than a boring drive to Safeway for boring groceries to take back to her boring gated community and her bored husband.
It would be better after she was rid of this man. Then, for once in her life, she wouldn’t have to pretend.
“Gilford Island,” the man said, pointing again out the rain-misted window.
Janet strained to find what he was pointing at but failed. She saw nothing that proclaimed Gilford Island with the brazenness of the Hollywood sign on a friendlier hillside back in California. It would take such a sign to point the way.
Lost, she was lost. And had to pretend otherwise.
Effing Feline here again. To see my wondrous cat videos, just click the banner atop this page to go to Ed’s home page.
Never Saw a Purple Cow
Purple Cow: someone who not only doesn’t fit in, they stand out like a . . . well like a purple cow in a dairy herd.
Grade-A example: beautiful middle-aged suburbanite Janet Davis choosing to live among the creative but insane quarantinees of remote Gilford Island.
Grape flavored milk, anyone?