Effing Feline sucks it up #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, never give up. I’m still trying to become independent of humans by open cat food cans myself. But then I thought “I don’t need to open them all the way, just a tiny little bit.

But, you ask, how will I get the cat food out with a hole too small for my tongue? Glad you asked . . . but I’ll tell y ou my secret after this word from our sponsor, The Solid Gold Aliens.

After Tresky Buffrum is robbed and abandoned on his wedding night, he waits on a slotporch, in case she returns — she does, with no apologies.

Ebbril gestured toward the backpack. “I’ve been making arrangements and shopping.”

With my money — but he didn’t mind, much, because she’d come back. Still . . . “I awoke alone.”

“I couldn’t wait for you, and the innkeeper was supposed to let you stay until I returned.”

“But in the Happy Louse?”

“You were in no condition to enjoy that fancy hotel.”

“I thought you’d stolen my money and abandoned me.”

“I’m not a thief, Tresky.”

“What was I supposed to think, waking up—”

“If I were a thief, why would I have married you when I could so easily get you drunk until you passed out?”

Effing Feline here again. Okay, here’s this week’s absolutely brilliant idea for getting cat food out through a tiny hole.

I am so intelligent I impress the fur off myself. Just don’t ask me how I’m going to make that small hole, or where I’ll  find a straw, because I don’t know. Details, details!

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

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All Tresky Buffrum wants is a taste of adventure before resigning himself to the life of a shepherd.  What he gets instead is a mysterious wife, fiercely chaste, who drags him to the Midas Crater, where hundreds of the planet’s intelligent natives have been transformed into gold.

Everyone on the caravan has an ulterior motive — except Tresky, who just wants to make love to his wife. Spies are everywhere. An Offworlder hero runs mad and murders people. A grim policewoman becomes attracted to Tresky while struggling to capture the psychotic sniper.

Observing this bizarre trek across the desert is an old, mute, lion-like alien. After befriending Tresky despite stern taboos, Virtrillica seeks a reason for her people to spare humans from a blast of extinction. Can the two of them save humankind and defeat the interplanetary conspirators who seek to destroy the Midas Crater and its sinister yet liberating secret?

And if you’re interested in a good free read . . .

The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station is book one in the Repelling the Invasion series. It is available wherever fine e-books are sold, including:

 

46 comments

  1. She’s got a point! Enjoyed your snippet as always Ed. As for Effing, well what a clever cat. Once you’ve managed to drill a hole in the can I hope you’ll be using paper straws (to help the environment and all that, you know.)

    1. I’ll suggest paper straws, but I’m not sure how environmentally conscious a house cat is.

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    There is still something fishy going on. I wonder what Ebbril’s true intentions are.

    1. Your comment and Teresa’s (below) tell me I’m on the right track, because you’re split about Ebbril’s motives. A bit of uncertainty is great from my point of view, provided it keeps readers reading to find out.

  3. Well, she makes a good point. Maybe I’m as bad as Tresky, but I think I trust her. lol

    Oh my, my Effing… I fear you’ve come full circle yet again, back to that opposable thumb thing…

    1. See my reply to Jessica’s comment above.

  4. Hahaha … she most certainly has a point there 🙂

    1. But is that point enough to make Tresky feel better?

  5. Diane Burton · · Reply

    I’m not sure about her. But I’m willing to give her a chance. Tresky seems too eager to trust her.

    Poor Effing. Gotta give him points for trying to come up with a way to be independent.

    Love the cover for Angel. That’s one of my fav of your books.

    1. Guardian Angel is one of my favorites of my books, too.

  6. Adriana Kraft · · Reply

    fooled me – I truly thought she’d abandoned him. Great snippet.

    1. Not surprising. I laid out a lot of clues to make you think that.

  7. Ed, your new story is truly fabulous…or something. Keep going. You have a whole new concept.

    1. Thanks, Charmaine.

  8. I’m not sure I completely trust the woman, but as you said, Ed, that’s good for your business (keeping the audience reading). 🙂

    Effing and Ed, may I suggest, in the pursuit of more independence for Effing, that you buy him the pouches of food or the little packages that have the foil across the top? That way, one swipe of the claws, Effing, and you’re in! LOL

    1. Jenna, do you really think I want Effing to be independent of all control? He’s already overweight. Your suggestion might turn him into a beachball!

  9. May she isn’t a thief, but I’m sure she has plans for him!

    1. I like the new cover for Guardian Angel

      1. Jaycee DeLorenzo of Sweet ‘N Spicy Designs designed the cover, as well as the covers for the re-released Repelling the Invasion series. She’s fast and reasonable. I highly recommend her.

    2. Oh yes, she has plans. It will take most of the book for the plans to be completely revealed, but readers will get hints over the next couple hundred pages.

  10. I’m with Aurora. She might not be a thief, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t marry him for love!

    1. That is so very true.

  11. You can argue that logic. Tresky needs someone with street smarts and I think he’s found her.

    1. It’s interesting that you say that, because although I hadn’t thought about it like that, it’s sort of true — even thought she isn’t from Tresky’s world.

  12. Whoops – I meant “can’t argue”

    1. And that’s how I read it. I didn’t see the typo until you corrected it!

  13. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    my cats open cabinet doors and drawers, I fear if they got their paws on the cans LOl
    Great snippet !

    1. If your cats actually manage to get the cans open, be sure and tell Effing how they did it.

  14. Well she certainly did ask a good question but I have to think there’s more going on here and something seems so ‘off’…another intriguing snippet all right!

    1. For one thing, there’s a real clash of values here — it comes out later that Ebbril is from another planet . . . but that’s not the only thing going on here. She has, shall we say, covert reasons for her actions.

  15. She’s got him on that one. Louse Motel – ewwww.
    Tweeted.

    1. The name says it all. A description of the place simply wasn’t needed.

  16. Anonymous · · Reply

    Trust can only go so far, and in some cases, so can love… the same can be said of cats. Just sayin’ 😀

    1. In summary, one can trust a cat only so far. Especially a cat like Effing.

  17. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    That’s a good question. Maybe we’ve misjudged her.

    1. If you misjudged her — IF — it’s because the author stacked the text to make you think that way.

  18. She has a point, but I still don’t trust her yet. Good luck getting to the cat food, Effing.

    1. This seems to be the consensus, and I approve of it.

  19. I’m not sure I totally trust her. I can’t wait to find out more.

    1. Yep, she’s done enough that she’s a very short leash.

  20. Haha, love the snarky back and forth.

    Keep smiling,
    Yawatta

    1. Ebbril bats away every objection he comes up with.

  21. Emily Wrayburn · · Reply

    I’m intrigued why she did marry him! What’s in it for her? Still, I enjoyed this scene. It’s nice to finally meet Ebbril.

    1. Oh, there’s something in it for her, and that will be (partly) coming clear soon.

  22. She’s definitely not being truthful. Whatever her ulterior motive is, it better not hurt Tresky.

    1. Or kill him. Just sayin’.

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