I, Effing Feline, never give up. I’m still trying to become independent of humans by open cat food cans myself. But then I thought “I don’t need to open them all the way, just a tiny little bit.
But, you ask, how will I get the cat food out with a hole too small for my tongue? Glad you asked . . . but I’ll tell y ou my secret after this word from our sponsor, The Solid Gold Aliens.
After Tresky Buffrum is robbed and abandoned on his wedding night, he waits on a slotporch, in case she returns — she does, with no apologies.
Ebbril gestured toward the backpack. “I’ve been making arrangements and shopping.”
With my money — but he didn’t mind, much, because she’d come back. Still . . . “I awoke alone.”
“I couldn’t wait for you, and the innkeeper was supposed to let you stay until I returned.”
“But in the Happy Louse?”
“You were in no condition to enjoy that fancy hotel.”
“I thought you’d stolen my money and abandoned me.”
“I’m not a thief, Tresky.”
“What was I supposed to think, waking up—”
“If I were a thief, why would I have married you when I could so easily get you drunk until you passed out?”
Effing Feline here again. Okay, here’s this week’s absolutely brilliant idea for getting cat food out through a tiny hole.
I am so intelligent I impress the fur off myself. Just don’t ask me how I’m going to make that small hole, or where I’ll find a straw, because I don’t know. Details, details!
The Solid Gold Aliens
For 500 years, the aliens were no threat. But they were just waiting . . .
All Tresky Buffrum wants is a taste of adventure before resigning himself to the life of a shepherd. What he gets instead is a mysterious wife, fiercely chaste, who drags him to the Midas Crater, where hundreds of the planet’s intelligent natives have been transformed into gold.
Everyone on the caravan has an ulterior motive — except Tresky, who just wants to make love to his wife. Spies are everywhere. An Offworlder hero runs mad and murders people. A grim policewoman becomes attracted to Tresky while struggling to capture the psychotic sniper.
Observing this bizarre trek across the desert is an old, mute, lion-like alien. After befriending Tresky despite stern taboos, Virtrillica seeks a reason for her people to spare humans from a blast of extinction. Can the two of them save humankind and defeat the interplanetary conspirators who seek to destroy the Midas Crater and its sinister yet liberating secret?
And if you’re interested in a good free read . . .
The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station is book one in the Repelling the Invasion series. It is available wherever fine e-books are sold, including: