Effing Feline tries telekinesis #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, changed my name last week to Efrem Thimbalist Jr. After sleeping on it, though, I’ve decided the name isn’t classy enough. I’m still thinking long and hard of name splendid enough for a cat like me who can do anything.

Anything, that is, except for one crucial thing, which I’ll tell you about after this commercial break from our sponsor, The Solid Gold Aliens.

Tresky Buffrum is a naive young shepherd from the mountains of the colony planet Jones. When he visited the planet’s largest city, population 50,000, he met a woman (Ebbril) and married her the very next day. And overindulged in wine.

The next morning, Tresky is awakened by a man wanting to sweep out the crude, open-sided hovel in which he apparently spent his wedding night. Tresky asks where Ebbril is. Last week’s snippet ended with the sweeper (named Aram Vappu) asking, “Is Ebbril the pale beauty who oversaw your delivery in a wheelbarrow last night?” 

Tresky had no idea how he’d gotten here, so he said, “She’s my bride.”

“Bride?” snorted Aram Vappu. “Let me guess, young man — is your purse gone?”

Tresky shook his head, which was a mistake; to still its spinning, he rested it against the stone wall. “You’re as pessimistic as a Godgifu tribesman.”

“Because I am a Godgifu, lad — can’t you tell?” Preening as though he were a nubile beauty rather than a floor sweeper, the man ran his fingers over a streak of short golden hair over his ears. “And I’ll wager you’ve been sheared like one of your Gasparre sheep.”

Frowning, Tresky touched his vest, hoping Vappu wouldn’t notice, but when he couldn’t feel the lump of coins, he slapped his chest frantically.

“No purse,” Vappu said with an exasperated sigh as though it was Tresky’s fault his dour outlook had been confirmed.

Effing Feline here again. I admitted above that there’s one very important thing even I cannot do, and that lack is why I slave in thrall to a mere novelist.

I can’t open a damned can of cat food!

Can you spot the new book’s cover on the banner atop this page? After that, be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

The Midas Rush is now

The Solid Gold Aliens

For 500 years, the aliens were no threat.

But they were just waiting . . .

 

New title, new tagline, new cover.

Ed thinks the new title conveys a bit more mystery — readers should be interested in anything solid gold, let alone golden aliens. After all, nobody knows what a midas rush is unless they’ve read the book.

Like the title, the new tagline focuses on the aliens rather than the human characters. More importantly, it highlights conflict.

And the new cover is, in Ed’s humble(?) opinion, a big improvement over the old one. He did a lot of work on this one himself. How’d he do it? See yesterday’s cover reveal.

36 comments

  1. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Well, what’s he going to do now that he has no money? Very intriguing!

    1. He faces a very uncertain future, that’s for sure.

  2. So true at this point. No money? Help!

    1. And this planet has nothing like Traveller’s Aid.

  3. So the bride did run off with the money, or didn’t she? Interesting.

    1. Well, I wouldn’t have spent so much time on her — she dominates chapter one — if she simply vanished without a trace.

  4. Hmm, no bride, no money, and a huge hangover. A morning after I doubt he’ll ever forget. And I wonder now if he’s even married at all. Looking forward to next week’s snippet!

    1. Let’s just agree that he’s had better mornings.

    1. One begins to doubt she married him for love.

  5. A common mistake for naive visitors to a city.
    Good luck with the re-release.

    1. His bride definitely pegged him as easy pickings . . . but she has some odd ideas, as well.

  6. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Talk about getting fleeced. 🙂 Poor guy. How naive can he get? Looking forward to reading more.

    1. Clearly, Tresky is capable of being very naive. He’s learning, though.

  7. Somehow i’m not at all surprised, even if HE is LOL. Can’t wait to see where you take the story next…enjoyed the snippet.

    1. This is one of those scenes where the reader knows more than the character.

  8. Hywela Lyn · · Reply

    Is he as naieve as he seems, I wonder? Great snippet and the new cover is stunning!

    1. At the time I drafted this, I’d reread The Man in the High Castle, which got me sort of interested in the Tarot. Tresky personifies the Fool Tarot card, which signifies beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit with unlimited potential. At this point in his journey, yes, he is this naive.

  9. It must have been one heck of a night. I’m curious to know more.

    1. It was a wedding night he (won’t) remember.

  10. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    I do like this cover better. I hope effing has you trained well enough to open his food cans. I know mine do me. Lol

    1. That’s the only reason cats put up with us, isn’t it? Because of our opposable thumbs?

  11. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    That’s what I’d call a bad morning.

    1. I’ve never had such a horrible morning. Hope I never do!

  12. Keep trying, Effing!

    Looking forward to reading this, Ed.

    1. Re: Effing. Stop encouraging him!

  13. Already out spending his money. Dare we hope she’s bringing him breakfast . . .?

  14. Danish and a latte, perhaps?

  15. Oh, the poor fellow. Those otherworldly Vegas-style weddings are never a good idea.

    1. But how’s a poor, ignorant shepherd supposed to know that?

  16. Haha! This took a turn I did NOT expect! Nice!

    Effing…when all else is gone, there should still be hope. Try to convince Ed to buy your food in pouches. Bet you can rip or chew them open. lol

    1. Teresa, do you really think I want Effing to get into the cat food whenever he wants? No way!

  17. Emily Wrayburn · · Reply

    Have to admit, given he was drunk enough last week they needed a wheelbarrow, this turn of events does not entirely surprise me! Will he be having another run-in with his bride?

    1. Oh yes. Their run-ins will continue until the end of the book.

  18. Thought as much. Poor guy. I hope swindling naive shepherds is the extent of her involvement and things start looking a little better for him, but I’ve a feeling it’s going to get worse.

    1. Worse? Yes, we authors do like to torture our characters, don’t we?

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