I, Effing Feline, am chuffed, thrilled, and purring. Finally, finally, I have gotten the glory I deserve — though not from my pet human, Mr Valentine.
As many of you know, Ed’s called Mr Valentine after inspiring a Rita-Award finalist book of that name by a friend, Vicki Lewis Thompson. It’s about a guy with glasses (like Mr V) in the Pacific Northwest (where Mr V lived before Arizona) who writes a romance novel (like Mr V). The absolutely purrfect Christmas present for all your friends, starring ME, wonderful ME, right up front, is . . .
Well, you’ll have to wait until after this word from my sponsor, Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker.
Holly Jansen has gone to Kwadra, the alien island transported to the Pacific off the coast of Washington from an alternate Earth. She calls her brother, Paul, on a phone that’s right next to a tall, dark, and handsome Kwadran who doesn’t leave to give her privacy. When the call’s over, she confronts him. (Editing from the published version.)
“Eavesdropping is rude, you know.”
At that, he smiled: he wasn’t a huge man, probably average height and lanky rather than bulky, yet he loomed like no man of average height should.
“You take my cherry,” he said in perfect but confusing English.
Only one meaning for that sentence sprang to mind, but that couldn’t be what he meant; for one thing, he was too old for virginity, in his thirties at least, and if he were bluntly demanding sex — well, Kwadrans didn’t have that kind of reputation. “Uh,.well . . .”
“You are the first American female I’ve met,” he clarified.
“Oh, okay.” Surely the risqué overtones of that remark stemmed from unfamiliarity with English idioms, but his dark eyes flashed with something resembling humor.
“Your brother speaks wisdom — you must always stand up for yourself. Straighter!”
Startled, she snapped to attention.
Effing Feline here again. Mr Valentine — the book, not my pet human — has been turned into a manga graphic book! It’s the purrfect Christmas present for all your friends. Just look at the first page to see why!!!
Disclaimers: #1 – It’s Japanese, so read the ‘bubbles’ from right to left. #2 – Neither Ed nor I get a penny from this marvelous depiction of my felininity!
Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker
The Nutcracker ballet — for and by aliens?!?
Holly Jansen, a young orchestra conductor down on her luck, is secretly hired by the king from an alternate Earth to conduct The Nutcracker on Kwadra Island as a Christmas present for his American wife. This big break seems like a Christmas miracle — but after meeting the lead dancer, she wonders if it’s a curse, instead.
Because the Kwadran queen has secretly ordered superstar dancer Rafael Sekwa to produce a potlatch dance honoring her husband’s ancestors — on the same date, time, and stage as The Nutcracker. The stubborn genius is determined to do it no matter what, and Holly finds her goals and ambitions melting in the face of her growing admiration. Will love cost her all her dreams?