Effing Feline won NaNuWiMo #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, have my own version of National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. Ed, my pet human, recently celebrated his best ever NaNoWriMo by completing a record (for him) number of words on his next messterpiece.

I call my version National Number of Winks Month, or NaNuWiMo. The goal is to grab the most winks of sleep I possibly can, measured in minutes. Want to know how wildly successful I was?  I’ll tell you right after this word from my sponsor, Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker.

Holly Jansen has gone to Kwadra, the alien island transported to the Pacific off the coast of Washington from an alternate Earth. She calls her brother, Paul, on a phone that’s right next to a tall, dark and handsome Kwadran –she thinks of him as DC — who doesn’t leave to give her privacy. His nearness looms over the siblings’ whole conversation.

“Anyway,” Paul continued, “you have the right to get your things and break the padlock off the door, if necessary.”

“I’m on Kwadra Island,” Holly whispered, horrified that DC could overhear about her problems, “so could you take care of it?”

“I’ll hire a handyman. I know you’re broke, so I’ll pay him and for any damage to the door, and any back rent you owe—after all, you’d do the same for me.” He didn’t add if you ever had any money; Paul was a good brother.

Or maybe not, because he continued in a loud, pep-talk tone of voice that cut off her explanation that she did have money now. “Remember, Sis, you aren’t a professional failure just because you didn’t get the job with the Portland Symphony or get renewed by the Kamloops Symphony.”

“Not now, Paul, please.” He was spilling secrets she’d hoped to lock away while she made a fresh start.

“And picking a crook for a roommate doesn’t make you a personal failure, either.”

The skin on the back of her neck prickled as she imagined the scorn of her silent eavesdropper.

Effing Feline here again. Are you ready for the monumental reveal of my NaNuWiMo score? Well, you’ll get it anyway.

Out of a total of 43,200 minutes in the month of November, I slept a grand total of 35,816 — a new World’s Record! Simultaneously, I slept for an even more impressive 2,148,960 seconds! It’s not everyone who can sleep for minutes AND seconds at the same time.

So yes, I will accede to your applause and take a bow for my monumental achievement. Tough work, but someone had to do it!

Be sure visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker

The Nutcracker ballet, for and by aliens?!?

Holly Jansen, a young orchestra conductor down on her luck, is secretly hired by an alien king to conduct The Nutcracker on Kwadra Island as a Christmas present for his American wife. This big break seems like a Christmas miracle, but after she meets the lead dancer, she wonders if it’s a curse, instead . . .

. . . because the Kwadran queen has secretly ordered superstar dancer Rafael Sekwa to produce a potlatch dance honoring her husband’s ancestors — on the same date, time, and stage as The Nutcracker. The stubborn genius is determined to do so, no matter what, and Holly finds her ambition melting in the face of her growing admiration . . . and love.

Check out the new cover (at right). Then get your copy at:

Ed’s Final NanoWrimo update

. . . And a Party Invitation!

You’re invited to the Cyborg Monday Party sponsored by the Sci Fi and Fantasy Romance group. It’s on Monday (duh) December 2. If you’re not a member of the Sci-fi and Fantasy Romance Group on Facebook, you can join here.

Join me at 8:30 pm Mountain Standard Time (10:30 EST, 7:30 PST). I’ll be highlighting my September release, Love thy Galactic Enemy, which features not just a cyborg hero but a cyborg villain, as well. It’s kind of a BOGO deal. In honor of Cyborg Monday, Love thy Galactic Enemy is on sale for just 99c, making this the perfect opportunity to swell your to-be-read stack to bursting!

35 comments

  1. Effing, you are truly awesome.

    But then, you knew that, didn’t you….

    1. Yes, I think he does know. He worked very hard for his NaNuWiMo record, I’ll give him that much — so hard that he’s exhausted and needs a nap.

  2. Paul has a backhanded way of giving a pep talk. 🙂

    1. In a way, that’s backhanded compliment to Holly. He knows she’s strong enough that doesn’t need the truth sugarcoated.

  3. He’s really laying it on thick, isn’t he. 🙂

    1. It’s the author’s fault, not Paul’s!

  4. Brothers can be difficult. I had a bunch of them in my youth. Wonderful snippet, my friend.

    1. As a brother myself, I resemble that remark, Charmaine!

  5. I like the title change, Ed. It’s an additional keyword too. Congratulations on winning NaNoWriMo and congrats to Effing for catching up on sleep.

    1. Alien Contact for a Christmas Nutcracker was one of my original options, and I really don’t remember why I rejected it. The name is such a natural.

  6. Effing may have Garfield beat… and congrats on your NaNoWriMo accomplishment!
    Wonder just how much the alien overheard…

    1. 1) Garfield is one of Effing’s inspirations, so he’ll be delighted. 2) Thanks for the NaNoWriMo nod. Problem is, I’m only about 2/3 done with the book, and the upcoming holidays will keep me from ploughing ahead. 3) The alien overheard *everything.*

  7. Oh my, that’s really embarrassing stuff for the Kwadran to be overhearing! Your poor heroine. I cringed for her! Congrats to Effing on his success with the winks LOL. Great snippet1

    1. I have been so nasty to my poor heroine. I almost feel guilty . . . hee hee hee.

  8. That’s quite a cat nap, Effing! What’s your secret?

    Let’s hope the Kwadran is understanding — and has a sibling or two himself.

    1. Effing’s secret is that he’s a cat . . . although I guess that’s not really a secret.

  9. This guy Paul makes me glad I have no siblings. He’s being nice about helping with her apartment, but apparently has no filters whatsoever.Poor Holly. I hope her day finally gets better!

    1. Things will continue to get a bit worse until they *much* better!

  10. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Like Effing, I spent more time catching winks than making words, but that’s what December’s for! Kudos to you for the record word count and a very enjoyable snippet! 🙂

    1. But did you keep count of how many minutes and seconds you slept?

  11. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    Congratulations to effing feline on his NaNuWinkMo and great work Ed!

  12. Teresa Cypher · · Reply

    I was so embarrassed for her reading this part!

    “messterpiece” Lol. Where do you–I mean Effing– come up with this stuff???

    1. A fertile imagination requires a lot of bullshit. Er, I mean, fertilizer.

  13. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    That’s some pep talk, LOL.

    1. Siblings can be roughest on us even when they’re trying to be helpful.

  14. Hywela Lyn · · Reply

    Congratulations Ed – and Effing! (I think Ed’s job was a little harder though. Just a tad!

    Great excerpt, I can see her almost shrivelling up in embarrassment!

    1. I agree that my job is harder than Effing’s. After all, I have to put up with him.

  15. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Ed, congrats on the NaNo win! That was a bunch of writing!!! As for Effing, NaNu NaNu = Mork from Ork.

    Poor Holly. Her brother means well but… Spilling all her failures in front of the stranger? Yikes!

    1. In the brother’s defense, he didn’t know her situation, though I suppose she could’ve told him.

  16. I think her brother needs help on how to give a pep talk. lol Great snippet.

    1. I think of him as one of those people who prides himself on being a ‘straight shooter.’

  17. He’s right, of course, all those setbacks with jobs and an untrustworthy roomie don’t make her a failure, but I bet she wishes he wasn’t being right so loudly.

    And congrats on completing NaNo. 🙂

    1. The poor guy doesn’t realize she’s on speaker phone.

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