I, Effing Feline, am about to reveal the TRUE STORY of space exploration, inspired by the recent 50th anniversary of reaching the moon. I won’t use mere words, either. Words, after all, are a human invention and thus flawed. Instead, I’ll use photos and historical footage to show that cats are the true astronauts . . . though the correct word is astrocat!
I have more proof, but first, today’s commercial (yawn) from my sponsor. Love thy Galactic Enemy, Ed’s sci fi romance, will be available September 8.
Lou has been abandoned on a space station orbiting the enemy’s planet. She gets ‘adopted’ by a stray pet — a furry, rat-sized mizzet whom she calls Brainless for choosing a destitute woman. Later, when a guy enters her flophouse room in the middle of the night , Lou leaps at him from the top bunk and knocks him out.
But he’s her new roommate, not an attacker. Oops.
Up on the top bunk, Brainless growled a pitiful little squeak. Forgetting it couldn’t fly, the mizzet leaped, seeming to copying her by aiming for the intruder’s head. It missed and thumped to the floor in a rolling jumble of fur that should, but probably wouldn’t, convince the mizzet it was neither bird nor tree cougar. Undeterred, it crept toward the fallen man, its fur standing on end.
The defiant way it stretched out its nose to sniff the intruder reminded Lou of a childhood pet, Katy Kat. One day a colleague of her father’s had brought his Orion Bullhound, a hulking tyrant of a canine who pranced into their small stone house like he owned it. When Jesus — the owner, a minister like her father, had actually named his dog Jesus — sashayed too close to the chair where Katy sat, she calmly scratched the dog’s nose. For the rest of the visit, the bullhound was scared of Katy and didn’t bother her.
The memory cheered Lou. Maybe by pouncing on the intruder, she’d accomplish the same thing. Maybe this guy would leave her alone, maybe?
Effing Feline here again. Here’s 56-year-old historical footage celebrating Felicette, the first cat in space. (If you don’t understand French, here’s Wikipedia.)
Love thy Galactic Enemy
Abandoned to the enemy’s tender mercy
Minta, the reserved secretary for a spy team that spread a man-made plague, leaves the planet too late — the team abandons her on the enemy’s space station. She’s forced to fend for herself until she can make contact with an elusive spy, Watcher, who can take her home. To avoid arrest, she nurses a plague victim — a gentle, whimsical man who spouts Lewis Carroll. But to know this enemy is to love him . . .
When Finn Shanwing falls ill, he doesn’t intend to hide that he’s a high-ranking commando. Neither does he intend to fall in love with the secretive nurse who saves his life . . . but by the time he reveals to Minta she saved an enemy commando, it’s too late for his heart. Or hers. Also too late to escape the wrath of Watcher — half-human, half-machine, and both halves obsessed with her.