Effing Feline’s greatest ambition #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, am the kind of amazingly complex character you authors can only dream of creating. I have more depth than any cat who ever lived. I am a stable genius, yet also a fierce hunter — and I’m humble, to boot.

But am I satisfied with my perfection? Never! I have yearnings, aspirations, and dreams of growing until I become even greater.

No, not greater like a lion. I’ll tell you my biggest ambition in a moment but first, a word from our sponsor — Mr V’s near-future romance, Alien Contact for Kid Sisters.

Last week we met Quinn, a con artist from Kwadra, an island inhabited by technologically advanced humans from an alternate Earth. Although a policewoman named Squitt is chasing him, Quinn pauses to kiss an American tourist, which angers her muscular husband..

“What the hell you doing to my wife?” The body builder plodded forward, careful of his youthful burden — but his care went for naught. The baby howled.

“Your wife, I am kissing her.” Quinn maneuvered back and forth to keep the woman between him and the angry husband. “You kiss her so infrequently you don’t recognize? Such a beautiful babe with such, you know,” he gestured with both hands to indicate her curves, “gets no kisses? Oh, for shame; you should treat her better.”

The wife fought a smile; the husband yelled; the baby cried; and Sergeant Squitt thundered around the corner of Rue Frank Kennedy.

Again Quinn had delayed too long, but it was more fun this way.

Effing Feline here again. I am about to share with you my greatest ambition, so lean in to your device and watch closely.

It’s not to become a lion (though that would be great). No, I aspire to become the grand specimen of feline heroism shown below. I dare you authors to create a character with a more magnificent dream! Thirty-five pounds of purring satisfaction!

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. And now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go have a snack.

Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds an alien hero
to save her . . . or is he kidnapping her, instead?

Marianne Harmon is sick and tired of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island, home of the marooned aliens from an alternate Earth. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.

Quinn Lebatarde, a Kwadran scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her — or get rich by kidnapping her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?

 

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35 comments

  1. Effing – overweight cats are subject to all sorts of health problems, including kidney disease and diabetes. I’m sure you wouldn’t like Ed to have to give you insulin injections every day. This happened to one of our friend’s cats.

    So enjoy your food, but eat moderately and be sure to chase plenty of mice to work out.

    1. I suspect that such objections will have no more effect on cats than they do on humans.

  2. What a dag. He cracks me up. Enjoyed the snippet.

    1. Again you’ve taught me a new word: dag. Thanks, Iris.

      1. LOL … YW 🙂

  3. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    Great snippet and if Effing feline became a lion he might conquer the world !

    1. Or at least lay waste to the world.

  4. I love the plump kitties!
    Quinn is really quite the upstart, isn’t he? Bold as brass and has a pair of brass ones too!

    1. Gee, I’m not sure what you mean, he asks innocently. A pair of brass WHAT?

  5. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Quinn is quite the trouble maker!

    1. Absolutely. He’s supposed to the archetypical bad boy that some women swoon for.

  6. Quinn is such an amusing rascal.
    So, Effing wants to be a fat cat. We have one. I put dry food up on a counter for our slender cat and hope fat cat is tempted to exercise by jumping for the food.

    1. Does your ploy work? Does ANYthing work?

  7. Great snippet. Quinn sure is brave – telling a body builder that you are kissing his wife is not usually a safe thing.
    Tweeted.

    1. He instinctively assesses his odds at any given moment. Right now he thinks they’re decent because the husband has a baby strapped to his chest.

  8. Oh! what fun we’re having this morning. Between you, Ed and fat cats and stuff, I’m having a kick today. Thanks!

    1. I hope the kick didn’t hurt, Charmaine.

  9. Quinn sure likes to live on the edge of the moment! And yes, of COURSE Effing is a complex character cat as he never tires of telling us LOL. Enjoyed the snippet and Effing’s musings too…

    1. Yep. The edge of the moment is more fun.

  10. Quinn has a touch of Robin Hood about him, kissing the girls in the middle of a getaway! Very fun character.

    1. Given what he does later with the money he bilks out of the tourists, the Robin Hood comparison is very apt!

  11. Love this character! He’s walking a fine line, but boy, he seems to be in his element. And Effing, I’m surprised you don’t want to be a svelte kitty. We have one large and one small cat. The large cat we say is “big boned.”

    1. The Trickster is a fun kind of character to write, without a doubt.

  12. LOL! He is so bad! Can’t get the image of the angry body builder with the baby out of my head.

    1. Are you trying to say you like body builders, Kate?

  13. Quinn is definitely a character! This is a great intro to him. 😀

    1. Quinn is larger than life. Some of my best characters are.

  14. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    Quinn sure is living dangerously. He’s quite a character.

    1. As he would say, it’s more fun to live life like this.

  15. Quinn is quite the trouble maker. Great imagery. I could see the scene so clearly.

    1. I’m glad your vision is so wonderful, Karen.

  16. He’s a rascal, isn’t he? Effing, I don’t think that’s healthy but it’d sure be yummy to accomplish.

    On Sun, Jun 9, 2019, 03:29 Ed Hoornaert (Mr. Valentine) wrote:

    > Ed Hoornaert posted: ” I, Effing Feline, am the kind of amazingly complex > character you authors can only dream of creating. I have more depth than > any cat who ever lived. I am a stable genius, yet also a fierce hunter — > and I’m humble, to boot. But am I satisfied wi” >

    1. Yeah, Effing isn’t really into health food.

  17. I’m still chuckling…
    Great snippet, shared

    1. Quinn was great fun to write.

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