Effing Feline’s PSA #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, hate heat.

I know, I know — most cats love heat so much they’ll lie on a radiator in a sunny window. All I can say is they’ve never done it in Arizona. I tried it . . . once. Here’s what I looked like afterward. Viewer discretion advised. If you have a weak stomach, don’t look, I beg you!

Even my fur was sunburned!

I’m continuing with the opening scene of Mr V’s near future sci fi romance, Alien Contact for Kid Sisters. Last week we met Quinn, a con artist from Kwadra, an island inhabited by technologically advanced aliens from an alternate Earth. It’s a duplicate of our Earth’s Vancouver Island — but its inhabitants aren’t Canadians , but descendants of the aboriginal people who lived there before Captain Cook.

When a policewoman named Squitt tries to arrest Quinn for scamming a tourist, he flees. This snippet picks up from there.

Quinn narrowly avoided a collision with a tough-looking Merkin with a baby strapped to his chest, but he bumped into the mother. “You hurted, madam?” he asked in his best English. She was pretty in a tired sort of way, so why not take the time to be polite? After all, Squitt lumbered rather than sprinted.

“Watch where you’re going, jerk,” growled the husband. He balled a fist and flexed his biceps, but not even a scowling body builder could look fierce with a baby strapped to his chest.

“You’re Kwadran,” his wife said in a breathless voice, as though enthralled by meeting an alluring but dangerous prison escapee.

“Never fear,” Quinn said to the thunder-browed man, “I shall kiss your wife and make her all better.”

And so he did, on the lips, for a count of five—the longest he dared under the circumstances; she tasted of hot dog and mustard. He kept his eyes open to watch the husband as well as the intersection where Squitt would appear, but the woman closed her eyes and kissed him back.

Effing Feline here again. Don’t let your cat (or dog, I suppose) get sunburned. Don’t let your cat (or dog, mutter mutter) get heatstroke. Click the PSA (Public Service Announcement) below to find out how to keep your pet safe.

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds an alien hero
to save her . . . or is he kidnapping her, instead?

Marianne Harmon is sick and tired of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island, home of the marooned aliens from an alternate Earth. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.

Quinn Lebatarde, a Kwadran scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her — or get rich by kidnapping her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?

 

26 comments

  1. Quinn is certainly brazen!

    Thanks for reminding people that animals suffer from the heat as much as we do. NEVER leave an animal in a locked car.

    1. Here in Arizona, the warning about cars and pets is front and center in one’s mind.

  2. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Haha! I love how she kissed him back. There’s always something about the “bad boy,” isn’t there? So very alluring indeed. 😀

    1. If I were writing this today, I’d add a sentence or two to imply that the wife and husband were bickering when Quinn arrived.

  3. Ed, you are always a delight with your amusing stories.

    1. The first couple of books in the Alien Contact for Idiots series were heavy on the lighthearted humor, like this one. Then they grew more serious.

  4. A kiss for a count of 5 – now that’s a kiss. LOL
    Tweeted.

    1. The kiss is a non-subtle way of preparing readers to see Quinn as romantic in addition to a scamp.

  5. Now isn’t he bold as brass! This is one cool dude. 🙂 Can’t wait to read more!

    1. While writing these scenes I pictured an ooooold movie star — Errol Flynn as Robin Hood. He was the epitome of a bold, cool, bad boy hero.

  6. LOL, he’s so bold and roguish! My cats thank you for the reminder but aren’t likely to suffer unduly sleeping on rugs in front of the window. Just in case, I will roll them over and check to see if they’re done. (Serious though, it’s a serious problem to be aware of.)

    1. I’m sure Effing didn’t realize that pets left in locked cars affects dogs more than cats, or he might not have written this public service announcement.

  7. Your Quin is quite a rascal – just the kind women love?

    1. Thank you! That’s the kind of character I was aiming for.

  8. Hmmm, interesting reaction he has to being chased and bumping into someone as he escapes! I see the roguish scoundrel element for sure…which is catnip to some people (with apologies to Effing).

    1. The key to writing him was when I realized that he sees life as a grand game that he can’t quite take seriously . . . until he meets Marianne.

  9. She kissed him back? Raises a lot of questions about that marriage. 🙂

    1. That’s an inspiring observation, Kate. I just went back and added two sentences, showing the husband browbeating his wife about her looks. That explains the kiss and makes it a small triumph for the poor woman.
      I love being able to tweak things in my Indie books. When I’m done with this comment I’ll load the revision up to Amazon and Smashwords.

  10. Wow, that was a kiss and in front of the husband too. I’m curious to know what will happen next.

    1. As Kate noted above, the kiss raises questions about this marriage.

  11. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    He’s certainly a bold one!

    1. A bold scamp, yes!

  12. Great snippet, Ed. First the body builder with the baby then the kiss. Genuinely funny post today !

    1. I’m glad I was able to tickle your funny bone, Iris.

  13. Well, Quinn is quite the upstart, isn’t he?
    I agree with Effin. I hate the heat too.

    1. Quinn is definitely a cheeky fellow.

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