Effing Feline’s favorite holiday? #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, wish you a happy Memorial Day!

Of course, that’s an American holiday. If you’re in Canada, happy belated Victoria Day. (I hope you got your garden planted.) If you’re in England, happy Spring Bank Holiday. (Do humans, and not just banks, get the day off work?) For Australians, happy Reconciliation Day. (Is living in Oz so tough you have to become reconciled to it?)

I’m continuing with the opening scene of Mr V’s near future sci fi romance, Alien Contact for Kid Sisters. Last week we met Quinn, a con artist from Kwadra, an island inhabited by technologically advanced aliens from an alternate Earth. It’s a duplicate of our Earth’s Vancouver Island — but its inhabitants aren’t Canadians celebrating Victoria Day, but descendants of the aboriginal people who lived there before Captain Cook.

Quinn is jacking up the price of a cheap copy of a Kwadran mask that a couple from Oklahoma has already paid for. He has asked for $40 more, then $50, $60 and so on. Edited to fit the guidelines.

The woman’s voice grew loud: “Give us back our money!”

Quinn turned with a sigh, cradling their carving in his arms. “Ninety dollah more.”

“That’s robbery.” The man’s face was red; through thin white hair, his scalp showed red, too. “I ought to call one of your gendarmes.”

They sure as salmon guts weren’t his gendarmes. “Okay, okay,” Quinn said as though heartbroken; “you Uncle Homas too smart for simple Kwadran like me. Only forty dollah more.”

“That’s more like it,” the man said as he dug out his wallet.

Effing Feline here again. Do you know what is the very bestest holiday in the whole galaxy?

International Cat Day!

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds an alien hero
to save her . . . or is he kidnapping her, instead?

Marianne Harmon is sick and tired of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island, home of the marooned aliens from an alternate Earth. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.

Quinn Lebatarde, a Kwadran scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her — or get rich by kidnapping her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?


One of the later books in this series, Rescuing Prince Charming, is available for free for a limited time on Prolific Works, along with other science fiction romance books. Check them all out!

31 comments

  1. I really liked the salmon guts line!

    1. The Indians of Vancouver Island were seagoing warriors known to paddle dugout canoes (big ones!) as far away as California on raiding parties. In Quinn’s time, all that remains of that heritage is a reverence for the oceanic past, sort of like the US reveres the myth of the Wild West. Hence his ‘verbal tic’ is to utter exclamations like “salmon guts”, each one different. Here are a couple:
      – – “Where the tuna turds did you learn to scream so loud?”
      – – “By all the fish bones in an orca’s tummy…”
      He does this sort of thing a lot, and at first they were fun. By the end of the book, I had to work hard for something original.

  2. I think International Cat Day sounds like a splendid holiday, and I am a fan of the Salmon Guts line as well!

    1. Effing likes (or thinks he likes) all parts of salmon. Thing is, I don’t think they can the guts in cat food, so he doesn’t know.

  3. Ed, your stories are so delightful. On this day, I say thanks for your clever tales.

    1. And for Effing’s clever tails, too.

  4. I should have known, Effing!

    Happy Memorial Day,Ed!

    1. There actually is such a holiday — which you should know, ailurophile!

  5. Snort. There’s one born every minute, for sure. Happy Weekend!!

    1. Quinn handled the sucker perfectly, too. The mark thinks he got a good deal.

  6. Glad it was only $40 more. LOL
    Tweeted.

    1. Gee, don’t you wish Quinn had gotten an extra $90 for his efforts?

  7. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    LOL He knows how to swindle them without them even knowing. Great snippet!

    1. I’m sure the mark will figure it out at some point.

  8. Wow, what a bargain! LOL I love this guy.

    1. Bargain, eh? Ahem. Can I interest you in a bridge?

  9. So when is International Cat Day? Isn’t every day a kitty celebration?

    -On the snippet – that Quinn is a sharp trickster.

    1. November, I believe. I put a link on the words International Cat Day, so just click it.

  10. And the beauty of it is the guy will feel like he outwitted the trickster. Everybody wins! Fun snippet.

    1. Everybody wins, but Quinn wins most of all.

  11. I agree with what others have said – the salmon guts line is perfect! He sure did a perfect job of reeling in the tourists…an interesting series of snippets from this book!

    1. Quinn is a great character, even if I do say so myself.

  12. Now that’s prime negotiating!

    1. He’s a master of the The Art of the Deal.

  13. LOL great exchange! I think we all need to get together and come up with holidays each of the countries can celebrate, that fall on the same weekends, so we don’t all end up with holiday envy, ya know?

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Julie!

  14. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    Very clever, LOL. Only $40 more.

    1. He’s a pretty good salesman, no?

  15. LOL … Nothing like a bit of pressure. Well done.

    1. I could never scam anyone as Quinn is doing, but it was fun writing about doing so.

  16. This guy is a great scammer! i hope I don’t run into one of his kind on my travels! Great snippet, Ed! We celebrate International Cat Day every day at our house (spoiled rotten cats). 🙂

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