Effing Feline loves naps #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, am about to shock you, so hold onto your hair pieces. I sometimes take naps.

Most cats do, of course, but I am such an exceptional specimen, a cat who has accomplished so much, that I know you’re thinking I work 16 hours a day, every day. But I am a BIG CAT — big enough to admit that I may, occasionally, take a short cat nap.

And that’s why I’m changing to a different book. Enough with Constellation XXI. Instead, I’m flitting back in time to one of Mr V’s personal faves, Alien Contact for Kid Sisters. He has said he wishes it wasn’t so much hassle to change a title, because he belatedly thought of a better title — Alien Contact for Kidnapped Sisters.

Since I love naps, here’s the very opening of Ed’s NAPPED book.

“Fifty, fifty-five, sixty,” the white-haired tourist said; “there you go, chief, paid in full.”

Chief? Quinn Lebatarde’s lips tightened at the insult, but almost immediately, he grinned. The tourist’s clothes shouted money to burn, as did his Rolex watch and expensive digital SLR camera, so Quinn pocketed the money but held onto the cheap, plaster replica of an ancient Kwadran woodcarving the man and his wife were buying.

Time for some fun. Hordes of tourists crowded the streets, celebrating the birth of the heir to Kwadra’s throne, so business was great; only three more ‘carvings,’ a mask, and some miniature totem poles remained on his rickety street-side table. The prospect of conning this man made Quinn’s day even brighter.

“All original,” he said in the thick accent and broken English dumb tourists expected; if you spoke too well, they didn’t believe you were from an alternate Earth. “Maybe I sell too cheap.”

Instead of giving them their mythological monster from Kwadra’s distant past, he clutched it to his chest — but not very hard, because the trashy fakes broke under the least pressure.

Effing Feline here again. This is book two in the Alien Contact for Idiots series, but I can’t imagine reading them all. Five books so far? That’s enough to make me need to (yawn) take a nap just (yawn) thinking about . . .

(snooooore)

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds an alien hero
to save her . . . or is he kidnapping her, instead?

Marianne Harmon is sick and tired of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island, home of the marooned aliens from an alternate Earth. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.

Quinn Lebatarde, a Kwadran scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her — or get rich by kidnapping her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?

A worthy follow-up to Alien Contact for Idiots, this tale soars as a grand adventure of science fiction romance in the spirit of Romancing the Stone.

30 comments

  1. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    An intriguing introduction with great world-building!

    1. Coming from a sci fi writer, that is indeed high praise!

  2. Oh, I haven’t read this one! Sounds as at least as good as the others!

    (And Effing – sweet dreams during your naps … not of chasing mice, but of having them appear before you and offer themselves!)

    1. Poor Effing. He’s never ever caught a mouse. Never even seen a real one.

  3. Ed, you always keep me interested and a chuckle is part of today. This mother enjoys your snippets.

    1. Everyone loves a playful scamp, which Quinn certainly is.

  4. LOL! I love a great con and he’s so smooth. Sounds like he’s got an interesting dilemma ahead! I think I just found my Mother’s Day gift for myself!

    1. You mean a fake sculpture from an alternate Earth?

  5. I laughed at the idea of the trashy fake breaking so easily.

    1. After this snippet, I found myself rereading this book, which I hadn’t done for a few years. Quinn is just as slimy and fun as I intended.

  6. Amusing excerpt for today! I hope Effing has good dreams while doing his power naps…

    1. Catnip. He dreams of catnip.

  7. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    LOL Feline I like a catnap too. Great snippet!

    1. Do you dream of catnip too?

  8. Wow, you really fit a lot into this snippet: I can see him, his world, a bit of its history. Nicely done!

    1. Well, you noticed the semi-colons and loooong sentences, I imagine. In the original it was more like 15-16 sentences than 10.

  9. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    An excellent excerpt, and an amusing one at that! Sweet dreams, Effing. Those yawns are so contagious. I just might join you and take a nap myself…

    1. My writing puts you to sleep? That is NOT what I wanted to hear, Julie!

  10. Quinn is quite a character. Usually I like antiheroes better than golden heroes and it sounds like he fits that description.

    1. He’s definitely a rogue — but one who aspires to become a hero.

  11. Interesting (and amusing) start to the new book!

  12. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Psst, Effing. Don’t tell but I take naps, too. 🙂

    Ed, I haven’t read this one. In the snippet, I thought Quinn was an old man. Glad you included the blurb. I’m going to have to get this one.

    1. Old man? I’m going to have to reread this to see if the author’s personality came through instead of Quinn’s . . . because the author is indeed and old fart.

  13. I can’t wait to see how this con plays out. Love the intro and worldbuilding that you combined so smoothly. 🙂

    1. I’ll give you a clue, Karen. It plays out amusingly.

  14. He sure knows what he’s doing. And yay for naps! I’m on board with that, Effing.

    On Sun, 12 May 2019 at 03:17, Ed Hoornaert (Mr. Valentine) wrote:

    > Ed Hoornaert posted: ” I, Effing Feline, am about to shock you, so hold > onto your hair pieces. I sometimes take naps. Most cats do, of course, but > I am such an exceptional specimen, a cat who has accomplished so much, that > I know you’re thinking that I work 16 hours ” >

    1. Yes, Quinn is an accomplished scam artist.

  15. Oh I like Quinn already! I’m always rooting for the bad guys, especially a con artist about to have fun with some rich know-it-alls. I can’t wait to see how this plays out. (I better get to see how this one plays out. Lol)

    1. At ten sentences per week, I’m afraid that might take awhile!

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