Effing Feline makes an offer you can’t refuse #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, am going to present evidence of cat’s undeniable superiority in order to encourage you to join the Felinism Movement. Did you know that cats directly inspired some of the most enduring literature in history? Here’s proof that we inspired The Hardy Boys series:

Romance, too. It defies belief that one of the Bennett girls being named ‘Kitty’ was a coincidence. Here’s proof that cats were the patterns for both Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett! — as well as all the Regency romances of Georgette Heyer:

I’m sure cats inspired Mr. Valentine to write his recently released sci fi novel Escapee, too! In the book, enemies from the Proxima star system have invaded the isolated mining moon where Catt Sayer, a civilian pilot, makes her living flying supplies on a decrepit airship. She picks up a lone survivor, Captain Dukelsky, who wants her to fly her airship to the far side of the moon to attack the enemy’s base..

But Catt jettisoned the canon he’d hoped to use to attack the enemy’s base, destroying his plan — and also his hopes and his reason for existing. After initial fury that Catt barely manages to overcome, he falls utterly quiet. She can’t figure out what he’s thinking, but she’s afraid of whatever it is. (FYI, Lancelot is her android co-pilot.)

After two hours of oppressive silence, she’d made the tea as a peace offering, but Dukelsky hadn’t even looked up when she gave it to him. An hour later, the tea was cold.

Dukelsky scares me, Catt typed into the instant message app built into the cockpit’s controls, and sent the message to Lance’s console. He hasn’t budged or said anything for three hours.

“But he isn’t—”

“Type, Lance,” she whispered fiercely, “type.”

Lancelot had been programmed to simulate human expressions, and now his eyebrows rose in simulated amusement. He typed a response without looking at his keyboard: You like him, don’t you, Catt?

“What!”

“Type, Catt, type.”

Effing Feline here again. I urge you become a card-carrying member of the Felinism movement. Just send your membership fee of $27,539.97 to me. It’s that easy!

Be sure to check out the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Escapee

Book 2 in the Repelling the Invasion series

Catt Sayer just wants to survive.  The working-class fugitive delivers military supplies on a decrepit airship, but her hard-won livelihood vanishes when invaders overrun her harsh moon. Even worse, an idealistic, upper-class officer wants her to risk her life on a hopeless trek to attack enemy headquarters – manned by 10,000 soldiers.

 

 

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35 comments

  1. That membership fee is steep, Effing! I liked the snippet. Even the android is aware of her feelings. Lol

    On Dec 2, 2018 05:14, “Ed Hoornaert (Mr. Valentine)” wrote:

    Ed Hoornaert posted: ” I, Effing Feline, am going to present evidence of cat’s undeniable superiority in order to encourage you to join the Felinism Movement. Did you know that cats directly inspired some of the most enduring literature in history? Here’s proof that we “

    1. She’s going to be the last person to admit to having feelings for him.
      As for the membership fee, I suspect Effing thinks he only needs one member in order to strike it rich.

  2. After all, Ed’s heroine IS named “Catt”.

  3. Touche! LOL … enjoyed the snippet this week.

    1. Lance is funny sometimes out of sheer over-literalness.

  4. I love the way you add humor to serious happenings. Also, Effing’s cute “evidence”.

    1. As long as my humor doesn’t dilute the seriousness.

  5. I like the Android -just as long as it doesn’t turn into HAL.

    Please tell Effing – the cheque is in the mail.

    Tweeted.

    1. “Hey Effing,” he calls, “you nabbed a sucker . . . er, customer.”

  6. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Effing, I’m going to get right on that (membership). LOL Love the interaction between Catt and Lance. Androids make such good foils.

    1. Effing will be rich — I’ll have to hit him up for a loan/gift.

  7. Every thought has been way amusing and touching You’ve done it again, my friend.

    1. Thanks, Charmaine.

  8. I think it’ll take more than tea to make the peace. And I love the interaction between Catt and Lance 🙂

    1. Your attitude toward tea tells me you’ve been gone from the UK too long, my friend. After all, don’t Brits think a cuppa is good for everything.

  9. An amusing snippet, in the midst of a tense situation – well done! And yes, cats are VERY inspiring LOL.

    1. Myself, I like Lance’s amusing comment because it’s so in character for a literal-minded android.

  10. Well, I destroyed your reason for existing but here’s a nice cuppa. Ha! No wonder he’s brooding in silence. I suppose he’s scheming up a new plan that will be even more dangerous than the first.

    1. His brooding will last quite a while and it forces Catt to spend a lot of time thinking. The results of all that thought are a bit surprising.

  11. Great snippet! And though I would love to support you, Effing, your asking price is a touch out of my range. Would you consider moving the decimals points back a bit? 😉

    1. And don’t forget, Amy, Effing’s membership fee is in US dollars, not Canadian.

  12. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    A really cute snippet! I like how the android uses her words against her. Though I wonder if she can ever reconcile with Dukelsky.

    1. That’s a great thing to wonder about, Jessica. It means you feel the stakes are high.

  13. Type!! Great snippet. PS – Effing only needs one member to really hit the jackpot. You never know.

    1. There’s a sucker born every minute, they say.

  14. Elaine Cantrell · · Reply

    Enjoyed the snippet and I noticed the heroine’s name is Katt.

    1. It’s more a passing homage to Katherine Hepburn than Effing, but yes, she is Catt.

  15. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    Great post. I’m a Cat too so effing feline and I can be besties. Lol

    1. Who would want to be besties with him? You’d have to check your moral and scruple at the door. And anyway, you misspelled it. It’s BEASTIES, not besties.

      1. Cathy Brockman · ·

        Lol you calling me a beast ? Lol I’ll be his beastie bestie any time lol

      2. I’m not sure I should even respond to this comment, let along say anything interesting . . .

  16. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    Great post. I’m a Cat too so effing feline and I can be besties. Lol

  17. I like the interaction between Catt and Lance. I’m intrigued about their relationship and how it will go.

    Great old artwork with cats!

    1. Catt is one of the most developed characters I’ve written, with some real depth to her.

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