Effing Feline hates fixers

Photos: DepositPhotos

My kitten who never was

I, Effing Feline, cannot celebrate Father’s Day, as I’m not a father . . .  because against my will, I was “fixed.”

Grr, hiss!

I’m choosing another snippet from Ed’s WIP, a near-future SFR novel titled Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. Penniless and desperate, twenty-something Audra lets a Kwadran construction worker guide her up a wilderness mountain to a back entrance to Kwadra’s abandoned, underground cities. She hopes to be safe there from the abusive lover, a lawyer who has vowed to get sole custody of her baby no matter where she hides.

Audra isn’t sure she trusts her construction worker guide enough for him to accompany her into the dark, secluded underground. We’re in her point of view.


Yeah, but — he had a nice butt. Angels wouldn’t have bodies made for sin, right? Only devils.

“Oh, hell,” Audra said, “let’s go.” Unable to meet his gaze, she went to the opening of the ventilation tunnel. Wary of the jagged ends of the broken grate, she shielded Roxie with her hands as she stepped into the howling darkness.

When he followed, she let out a deep sigh. She hadn’t been sure he would. Her nerves were stretched too tightly for her to give him a smile or the reassuring hug she craved, so she gave him a flashlight, instead.

Effing Feline here again. I guess I’m supposed to wish a happy Father’s Day to all my readers — even the women. Men/women . . . same difference, right? You’re all huge and have warm laps. The differences, you must admit, are utterly insignificant.

Check out the other writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Audra Fleeing Audra Finding

She’s running from an abusive lover . . . but what is she running to?

When her lover threatens to take sole custody of her baby, Audra Verhailey flees where even he can’t follow: the aliens’ forbidden cities underneath Kwadra Island.

But can the safe isolation she wants for her daughter survive a search party, a violent gang of criminals — and the love of an emotionally damaged Kwadran?



  1. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    A flashlight instead of a smile? Sounds fair. LOL I really enjoy all the tension she is feeling around him. I want to see what it leads to. 🙂

    1. A flashlight is longer lasting and more useful than a smile. Effing would say he got a good deal.

  2. Effing, there are far too many homeless kittens in the world.

    Anyway, think of it this way… if you had a kitten, you’d have to compete with him or her for attention!

    (Happy Father’s Day, Ed!)

    1. And happy Father’s Day right back at you, Lisabet!

      Oh. Wait a minute . . .

  3. I am glad he followed her too. (I really didn’t doubt he would.)

    Effing, based on my experience with my husband when I took the dog to be “fixed”, I venture a guess that when you were “fixed”, it hurt Ed more than it hurt you. 🙂

    1. From a reader’s experience, you were sure he’d follow. From the experience of a graduate of the foster child program, she couldn’t bring herself to be sure.

      1. Ahhh, now that makes perfect sense.

  4. One step forward, two steps back. She’s still hesitant. Enjoying the story so far.

    Happy Father’s Day, Ed.

    1. I’d say anxious, or even fearful, instead of hesitant.

  5. It’s not like she has too many options, does she? At least she can always ogle his butt if he takes the lead hehe

    On Sun, 17 Jun 2018 at 04:09, Ed Hoornaert (Mr. Valentine) wrote:

    > Ed Hoornaert posted: ” I, Effing Feline, cannot celebrate Father’s Day, as > I’m not a father . . . because against my will, I was “fixed.” Grr, hiss! > I’m choosing another snippet from Ed’s WIP, a near-future SFR novel > titled Audra Fleeing Audra Finding. Penniless ” >

    1. Elyzabeth, you’ve anticipated an incident (At least she can always ogle his butt if he takes the lead) . . . but(t) at the time, she is in the lead.

  6. You make me laugh with happy memories. And that’s a good thing, my friend. Outstanding snippet. Still tickled with your humor. You do paint a picture where the reader leaves home to join the place you’ve created.

    1. You can’t just leave it at that, Charmaine! How did stepping into a dark, windy tunnel bring back happy memories?

  7. Love the imagery of the ventilation tunnel. Lucky the character is a cat.

    1. Uh . . . the character in the novel is a human, not a cat. Just wanted to clear that up. 😉

  8. nancygideon · · Reply

    The flashlight is more practical but I’m hoping she doesn’t wait too long to follow that train of thought . . . but . . .

    1. This novel actually has two sets of romantic characters. These are the primary lovers-to-be; the others are a mature (ie. older) pair who are searching for them. One love story is ‘sweet’. The other is ‘spicy’. I’ll let your imagination pick which is which.

  9. I’m starting to think he might be the one in danger! Fun snippet. Love the way you balance the tension with humor, as always.

    1. Sometimes the humor just happens on its own, Alexis. In this case, I realized that a few pages later he has a flashlight, with no explanation of how he got one, but I didn’t have a good place to explain how he got one. Like Audra in this scene, I decided “Oh hell,” and tacked it onto this sentence.

  10. A flashlight. Well, it could have been worse. She could have left him wandering around in the dark.

    1. Yep, a flashlight is definitely practical. You probably don’t remember, but when Audra is thinking about what’s in her backpack, she mentions 192 batteries. Hopefully the reader remembers and now understands why.

  11. Good thought, giving him a flashlight, very practical! Enjoyed the excerpt, can’t wait for more about this place she’s heading, sounds so intriguing.

    1. You like dark, dingy, windy tunnels, eh? If you ever give up writing, you can become a coal miner.

  12. Come on Audra. Loosen up. The guy needs more than a flashlight. And I love Effing’s Fathers’ Day greeting. Typical cat thinking.

    1. Are you saying Effing is a ‘typical cat’? He’d be aghast that you’d don’t think him extraordinary, so I won’t tell him what you said.

  13. Perhaps, Effing, you can take comfort in the thought you will likely live longer in your fixed state.

    Happy Father’s Day, Ed!

    Audra needs to calm down and give the guy a break, not a flashlight. At least she didn’t brain him with it. Let’s hope things start getting better for her in this dark service tunnel. Great setting for a romance to start. Ed. 🙂

    1. Audra will get calmed down eventually, but she had plenty of reasons to be uptight. And when she does start to show her gratitude, it’ll be so much more meaningful for being hard won.

  14. I loved the flashlight!

    1. He did too, actually. Now he can see in the dark.

  15. A flashlight is the smart thing to give him. She can save the hug for when she knows she’s safe.

    1. Yep, she’s being practical about this.

  16. Well, I guess it was more logical to give him a flashlight rather than a hug – now he can admire HER butt! Effing – I feel your pain, or rather my -eh- dog does, since he’s gone through the same thing, but as someone else said, there are far too many kittens in the world, waiting in shelters for a forever home *sob* but besides, any kitten of yours would likely have inherited so much of you it would be almost identical, and that would never do – there should only, ever be one of you, after all!
    Happy Father’s Day, Ed.

    1. This planet is big enough for only one Effing Feline.

  17. Flashlights are always welcome! Hugs and butt-staring can come later… 😉

  18. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    The flashlight is very practical. I agree with Amy that other things can come later.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Elaine.

  19. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Love the last line. Good snippet, Ed. Happy Father’s Day!

    1. Thanks for the Father’s Day wishes. My children are scattered across the globe, but I got phone calls from the two boys in Toronto, had dinner with my daughter who lives nearby, and Skyped with son and d-i-l in Amsterdam. Excellent day!

  20. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    I think it’s for the best that you never procreated, Effing. I’m not sure you could handle another cat stealing your spotlight. Another excellent snippet! I’m really enjoying this story! 🙂

    1. “I’m not sure you could handle another cat stealing your spotlight.” To say nothing of the food dish!

  21. A flashlight is probably more useful than a smile, anyway.

    Kittens are a lot of work, Effing. They climb into everything, destroy stuff, and meow loudly.

    1. But in a romance, even a science fiction romance, a smile can be much more useful than a flashlight.

  22. “but-
    yeah, but”
    I see what you did there. Very smooth, I enjoyed it more than I think I should. Good snippet!

    1. Guilty pleasures can be thrilling, eh?

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