I, Effing Feline, feel lazy, so I’m turning this week’s post over to my pet humans’ pet canine, Twiggles the Dog. Try not to laugh too hard. Ha ha ha ha!
TWIGGLES: Good day, my dearest ladies and gentlemen. I, your unworthy and obsequious host, hope that you will excuse my inexperienced writing and lack of a tail. I was, unfortunately, born without one. Tail, that is. But pay no heed to my disgrace; I am undeserving of your sympathy. Also, please please please forgive the profanity in this snippet. Please, I beg you!
In Ed’s nearly completed WIP, Audra Verhailey, a runaway young mother, flees with her baby from Oregon to Kwadra Island — a “duplicate” of Vancouver Island that its Native American rulers “hopped” here from an alternate Earth. Penniless and hungry, Audra lets a Kwadran construction worker guide her up a wilderness mountain. She defiantly tells him she won’t have sex with him, no matter how helpful he is being.
What did he want from her? This guy was Spooky with a capital S — which could also stand for Silent or Scary.
She hadn’t paid enough attention to his name, Al, Hal, something like that, but his silence was a wall forbidding even simple questions. She didn’t understand him, not even a little, and that terrified her because people — guys, at least — didn’t help a woman on the run out of the goodness of their hearts. Though Kwadrans hailed from an alternate Earth, they were human, and human guys thought with their dicks no matter what planet they were born on.
Guys were dicks, no matter what planet they were born on.
“I just wanted to make that clear, okay? No sex.”
Only one word, but it was progress.
Effing Feline here again. Lousy post, right? A blog post written by a dog — a mere animal! Who ever heard of such a ridiculous idea?