Effing Feline lets a dog speak #wewriwa

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, feel lazy, so I’m turning this week’s post over to my pet humans’ pet canine, Twiggles the Dog. Try not to laugh too hard. Ha ha ha ha!

TWIGGLES: Good day, my dearest ladies and gentlemen. I, your unworthy and obsequious host, hope that you will excuse my inexperienced writing and lack of a tail. I was, unfortunately, born without one. Tail, that is. But pay no heed to my disgrace; I am undeserving of your sympathy. Also, please please please forgive the profanity in this snippet. Please, I beg you!

In Ed’s nearly completed WIP, Audra Verhailey, a runaway young mother, flees with her baby from Oregon to Kwadra Island — a “duplicate” of Vancouver Island that its Native American rulers “hopped” here from an alternate Earth. Penniless and hungry, Audra lets a Kwadran construction worker guide her up a wilderness mountain. She defiantly tells him she won’t have sex with him, no matter how helpful he is being.

What did he want from her? This guy was Spooky with a capital S — which could also stand for Silent or Scary.

She hadn’t paid enough attention to his name, Al, Hal, something like that, but his silence was a wall forbidding even simple questions. She didn’t understand him, not even a little, and that terrified her because people — guys, at least — didn’t help a woman on the run out of the goodness of their hearts. Though Kwadrans hailed from an alternate Earth, they were human, and human guys thought with their dicks no matter what planet they were born on.

Guys were dicks, no matter what planet they were born on.

“I just wanted to make that clear, okay? No sex.”

“Okay.”

Only one word, but it was progress.

Effing Feline here again. Lousy post, right? A  blog post written by a dog — a mere animal!  Who ever heard of such a ridiculous idea?

Be sure to visit the other writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday. They’re written by humans, so you’re safe.

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51 comments

  1. I have a feeling that “Okay” isn’t going to be the end of this discussion!

    1. She hopes not, though considering how silent he is, she isn’t sure.

  2. Poor Twiggles. I think he deserves more respect!

    1. I doubt she’ll ever get the respect she deserves from Effing, though.

  3. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Okay is better than nothing, but doesn’t give her much to go on. I wonder if he’ll speak again soon. Nice snippet!

    1. He’s the strong silent type, but he can talk.

  4. What is this world coming to- blog posts written by dogs.

    Great snippet this week. Kind of tongue in cheek-ish.

    I had a crazy busy week and forgot to sign up – my post is live – https://daryldevore.blogspot.com/2018/05/dereks-broken-up-with-his-woman-of.html

    1. You need to teach your pets (if you have any) to blog. That way you always have someone to fill in while you accidentally take time off from blogging.

  5. Okay….But, I suspect she’ll change her mind about him.

    1. Her fears run deep enough that it’ll take awhile, but he’s patient.

  6. Ed, you are one of a kind with your humor,cat and now a dog.

    1. But if there’s me, a cat and a dog, that makes three of a kind, right?

  7. Hell Twiggles, nice to meet you. I must say you’re the complete opposite of Effing – and I mean that in the nicest possible way, meaning no insult to either quadruped! Anothing great exept Ed – Gosh that Kwadran is really ‘mouthy’ isn’t he! LOL

    1. Twiggles, unlike Effing, is quite self-effacing . . . until a particularly interesting scrap of food falls on the floor. Then she’s quite selfish and determined.

  8. Love the tone of this one Ed.

    1. That’s a great compliment, Trin!

  9. I detect some slight issues on her part! I don’t blame him for being silent, he can probably sense the fear and hostility rolling off her.

    1. I love how you’ve managed to put yourself into his boots, Alexis.

  10. Okay … so that still leaves the question of what does he want?

    1. Unfortunately for readers of these snippets, readers aren’t going to learn this for about a third of the book.

  11. Ah, the strong silent type, is he? Poor Twiggles- I hope you give him lots of love to make up for Effing’s disdain.

    1. Yes those are the exact words I used to describe him in one of these comments. Great minds, etc.

  12. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Finally, he said something! I hope you go into his POV soon or make him talk. I’m dying to know what he thinks of her. Twiggles is a gentle soul, unlike Effing. I’m a dog person, as if you couldn’t tell. 🙂

    1. Twiggles is mostly a gentle soul, but don’t try telling that to the lizards she terrorizes.

  13. Definitely strong and silent, until now!

    1. In thinking about this passage, I think he’s also somewhat shy.

  14. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    My Molly has no tail either. I love your pets posting LOL

    1. A like-minded (like-tailed) friend for Twiggles!

      1. Cathy Brockman · ·

        Yep.

  15. I’m still rather mystified by this whole sequence of events – it’s almost like she’s his prisoner (although I know she’s not)…but that does keep me reading, wanting to learn more, so: well done!

    1. This is a particularly useful comment. I know from my experience that if somebody leads you deep into a wilderness you aren’t familiar with, you are, in a way, their prisoner — you’re totally dependent on them. But if readers don’t have that same background knowledge, I need to spell it out for them. Thanks, Jean!

  16. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    The strong silent type or does she intimidate him some way?

    1. Both, plus busy thinking through some plans.

  17. nancygideon · · Reply

    Not bad, for a dog! My cats were, of course, very dismissive. Looking forward to the next installment.

    1. Typical cats.

  18. Love this snippet. Good job!

    1. Thanks, Chris!

  19. It seems as there’s a theme to this snippet: Guys were dicks no matter what planet they were born on. I’d like to think not ALL guys are dicks! Great snippet from you today, Ed!

    1. I notice that it took a guy to comment on Audra’s low opinion of men. I guess all the women just nodded their head and said “Of course, that goes without saying.”

  20. Love that first line, the dialogue, and the idea that they won’t be having sex later on. 😀

    1. Since this is a sci fi romance, do you think they’ll hold to that ‘no sex’ rule?

  21. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    A man of few words. Each of your snippets have me more and more intrigued.

    1. Some mentioned great dialogue. Which is interesting, since he says just one word.

  22. I wonder what he’s thinking. He’s a man of few words, but that doesn’t mean the inside of his head is so quiet. She sure can work herself into a frenzy, though! Love her internal dialogue.

    1. His thoughts probably aren’t what you’d expect. He’s figuring out how to deal with an unexpected second chance.

  23. I wonder whether she’s making a mountain out of a molehill by overthinking the whole situation. Can’t wait to read the next snippet. Great snippet.

    1. I’m not sure I’d go that far, but she is desperate and afraid, hence overreacting.

  24. SHe does her opinion abundantly clear. I get it. lol

    And I have to ask, did Twiggles REALLY write this post? I think Effing did… lol

    1. I’m afraid I can’t say from personal knowledge that Twiggles did the writing. All I know is that when I awoke, the blog post had magically appeared!

  25. Twiggles, impressive post. You rose to the occasion and produced a tail-wagger, with a intriguing snippet and everything. Here’s hoping Effing won’t retaliate …

  26. A “tail-wagger”? But Twiggles doesn’t have a tail.

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