Must’ve done something very bad #mfrwhooks #mfrwauthor

I currently have not one but two WIPs. Given the way I work, that’s terribly unwise — but while I usually hold sway over my Muse, sometimes she throws me curve balls and strikes out my commonsense.

I’m continuing with the opening of my SFR adventure WIP tentatively titled Secrets of Love and War. Last week I ended with these lines:

When Cynthia was happy, the world laughed with her. But without warning, happiness—

—exploded.

Picking up from there, still in Cynthia’s POV:

An overwhelming noise, louder than loud, so loud it hurt the very air, lanced through her ears, shattering peace, shattering harmony, shattering her precarious balance. Her foot plunged into the water with a heavy splash that slapped her tunic, her chin, even her forehead.

She must’ve done something wrong. Something terrible. Had she wakened the Twisted Lizard after all? She didn’t mean to do it, whatever it was.

“Sorry,” she squealed, “I’m sorry!” But there was no one to pardon her except young Kaushelle. Timid and terrified, the Rixid girl’s limbs shook visibly. She slumped to an awkward sitting position on the grass. The skin around her eyes pulsed with fear.

The girl needed help. Where was help?

Nowhere. Even the follow-fish had fled.

Childish game forgotten, Cynthia looked around for danger, saw none, then searched for the source of the sound, which echoed off the cliffs. The sky held only high, thin clouds, so it couldn’t have been thunder. No smoke mushroomed into the sky, so it wasn’t an explosion.

The noise is the hero arriving with a bang.

Be sure to check out the book hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.

Advertisements

16 comments

  1. Nothing like a hero who arrives with a bang…! Very intriguing, Ed.

    1. This is true, although his arrival probably isn’t what you’d expect.

  2. I would certainly read more of this scene!

    1. Then this is accomplishing what it’s supposed to.

  3. Interesting bit here. The hero’s entrance is definitely unexpected

    1. Good. The arrival is supposed to be unexpected and even shattering.

  4. This was cool. Now I want to know what a follow-fish is!

    1. You’ll have to use your imagination for that one, Kayelle!

    2. And thanks so much for highlighting my Rescuing Prince Charming on Romance Lives Forever.

  5. Great job with showing her fear and confusion. Tweeted.

    1. Thanks for the kind words and, of course, the tweet!

  6. By the way Ed, if you would like a blog post date on my blog – let me know – I’m always happy to have visiting authors.

  7. rebeccapsja · · Reply

    Great excerpt! I also want to know what a follow fish is and does as well as how the hero arrived

    1. A follow fish is an interesting name I threw out to create a sense that this is a different planet. The hero arrives in a bomber.

  8. He certainly knows how to make an entrance! Love the title.

    1. You like the title? I’ll keep that in mind. It’s a working title, though, so I can’t guarantee it makes it to the final release.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: