Effing Feline scratches the couch

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, lost not one, not two, but three claws this morning. That may not be important to you, but to me it is a big, big relief. Furthermore, it’s a sign of my clawing prowess!

You see, we cats don’t actually lose claws, only old sheaths of claws, kind of like snakes shedding skins. It’s one of the reasons we use scratching posts — except that I didn’t use my scratching post. That’s for sissies. Like the brave hero that I am, I dared to use the living room couch!

Here’s another snippet from Rescuing Prince Charming. Dusty Johnson, a tech writer working on Earth’s first starship, has helped a Kwadran (a native American from an alternate Earth) find a saboteur’s time bomb. They ran with the bomb to a terrace, where he throws the bomb into the ocean “with the grace and power of an Olympic javelin thrower.”

Huffing, Dusty grabbed the cold, metal railing and looked down. Three long steel posts reached forty yards down to the steep and rocky forest below. If the bomb landed near a post, the blast would bring down the terrace with her on it. But did she run? Nope.

She leaned over the railing and put an arm on the back of her amazing companion. Although she didn’t know his name, there was no one she’d rather stand shoulder-to-shoulder with, facing oblivion, panting in unison, poised on the knife’s edge separating death from life.

“God,” she panted, “you have a…a great arm.”

Effing Feline here again. I rarely idolize other cats — they can, of course, never be as good as I am — but this puss pulled off a feat that I admire and hereby vow to replicate!

Be sure to visit other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four

She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.

Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.

Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.



  1. She really stumble around with her words trying to decide just exactly what was so great about him. lol

    Oh, that Effing. Shame upon shame–he could end up in (of all places) the doghouse over this couch thing!

    1. The problem is that Twiggles the Dog doesn’t have a doghouse. She lives inside.

  2. I hope he doesn’t come across any more sabotage attempts. Great snippet Ed.

    Oh that Effing. Always full of mishief. I think the claws was Karma

    1. Considering that finding the saboteurs is one of the book’s main threads, I suspect there’ll be more issues.

  3. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    So, they’re still not out of danger yet. I have a feeling this is just the beginning for the two of them though.

    1. Yep, this is still the beginning. Chapter two, to be exact.

  4. Wow, great adrenaline in this snippet.

    1. Glad you said that. Dusty is soaring on an adrenaline high that is about to carry her into a compromsing situation that’s fraught in the short term, but ultimately the love of her life.

  5. “Panting in unison.” What’s not to love about that? LOL
    But, how good was his aim? Aim not arm!

    1. Finding the bomb has been such a stimulating experience that she’s much more into his body than something so abstract as his aim.

  6. Much more to come, no doubt! An interesting story here 🙂

    1. More is yet to come, of course, though I’m especially proud of this opening sequence.

  7. Nice moment of respite here. Hope she remembers it as things get crazy again.

    1. Oh, there’s an even better ‘moment of respite’ in her immediate future.

  8. Not sure if this girl is brave or simply in love. As for Effing, if you clip his claws regularly, he won’t need to destroy your furniture.

    1. But Effing WANTS to destroy the furniture.

  9. nancygideon · · Reply

    LOL! The start to an . . . interesting and always entertaining relationship. Thanks for the reminder that I need to get out the nail nippers.

    1. If only you could convince the cats that getting their nails clipped is luxurious, like going to the manicurist as a spa, rather then something to be fought against.

  10. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    lol- I love what she settled on as an admiring trait.

    1. Well, he just threw the bomb farther than she could have . . . but she does admire other parts of him, too.

  11. They should be safe. Posts are notoriously hard to damage by a bomb blast unless it’s right next to it. So she can continue admiring his … arm. Yes, let’s go with arm 🙂

    1. I have to ask . . . how did you come by this knowledge of bombing posts? From personal experience?

      FYI, the setting is one of the inlets on the west coast of “Vancouver Island” — called Kwadra Island in my fictional universe. As you surely know, hailing from British Columbia, the island’s original name was “Quadra’s and Vancouver’s Island.”

  12. Hahaha I love that last line. I’m totally with her, by the way. 😉

    1. A fine, muscular arm turns you on, eh?

  13. I wonder if he feels the same way about her. As for Effing, I guess the sofa is always better than biting the hand that feeds you -like my cat did this weekend. 😦

    On Sun, Jan 28, 2018 at 3:28 AM, Ed Hoornaert (Mr. Valentine) wrote:

    > Ed Hoornaert posted: ” I, Effing Feline, lost not one, not two, but three > claws this morning. That may not be important to you, but to me it is a > big, big relief. Furthermore, it’s a sign of my clawing prowess! You see, > we cats don’t actually lose claws, only old she” >

    1. Naughty cat, biting your owner! Elyzabeth, you ought to stuff that misbehaving cat into your couch.

  14. “Although she didn’t know his name, there was no one she’d rather stand shoulder-to-shoulder with, facing oblivion, panting in unison, poised on the knife’s edge separating death from life.” I love that line – one of those things I wish I’d written myself! 🙂 As for Effing, methinks you’re using the wrong role models, Effing!

    1. Feel free to steal the line, Hywela. In this book, it’s especially appropriate because Dusty has never been made so aware of the closeness of death.

  15. He’s got a great what?? Oh – a great arm 🙂 Glad the bomb is finally away.

    1. If you were reading the book straight through, rather than in tiny snippets, you’d know that he’s pants-less. I don’t know if that means she might be thinking of something other than his arm, but . . .

  16. I’d want to get away from the possible collapse, but I’d also be curious about what the blast looks like.

    1. Since you’re curious, just keep stopping by here on Sunday. One explosion, coming right up!

  17. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    So much danger! I found a shed cat claw on the floor last night.

    1. I hope the claw isn’t one of Effing’s. Check your couch.

  18. I wish I could post a photo of what our cat did to one of our chairs. Literally clawed a hole through it!

    1. Must be a relative of Effing’s!

  19. Boy, they finally get rid of the bomb and it’s still threatening to kill them. Great cliff hanger, Ed!

    1. Seeing that they’re on a terrace hanging off a cliff . . . literally!

  20. I love the entire “panting in unison” line. It’s so poetic.

    1. And the line hints that no matter how different their backgrounds are, at a deep level, they’re sympatico.

  21. Lol … liked the last line … but you left us hanging, they’re still not out of danger!

    1. That’s the problem with 8-sentence snippets. It’s hard to give the big picture.

  22. I hope his arm is great enough. I’m not sure they are totally out of danger yet.

    1. I guess you’ll just have to come back next week to find out . . . or buy the book.

  23. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Wow. Just call him Al Kaline! (For you non-baseball fans, he was a Detroit Tiger famous for his throwing arm.) I love this snippet. Also, loved the book.

    Effing, you’re lucky you only lost your claws. If you’d been my cat, you would’ve gotten the boot. lol

    1. Ah yes, Al Kaline. Baseball Hall of Famer and youngest man ever to win a batting title . . . in 1955.

  24. Siren X Star · · Reply

    Great snippet! Can’t wait to see what happens next for them.

    1. Adventure and danger + an ear-catching final line = great snippet.

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