Effing Feline makes resolutions

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, have made New Year’s resolutions. I shall, of course, keep them even if weak-willed humans fail with theirs:

  1. I know I have a rough tongue (hey, I’m a cat!), but in the new year I shall always be nice, never snarky
  2. I’ve been called a narcissist. Never again! I shall always care for the feelings of others over myself.
  3. Twiggles the Dog looks at me with the saddest puppy dog eyes. I vow to never again steal her food.

Another snippet from Rescuing Prince Charming. Dusty Johnson, a tech writer working on Earth’s first starship, is helping a Kwadran (a native American from an alternate Earth) find a saboteur’s time bomb. Racing against time, they’re carrying the bomb out of the starship’s labyrithine mechanical deck.

“This is the fifth sabotage attempt in the last few months.” She was almost panting. Too much time spent behind a desk.

“Third,” he corrected.


“You know more about this than Security?” He stopped abruptly and shone his flashlight at her face as though interrogating her. His voice was all Kwadran, curt and accusing. “How?”

Temporarily blinded, she banged her elbow against a sharp edge, sending a spear of pain down her ulnar nerve; she rubbed her crazy bone. “The gossip mill down here is the most efficient communication device ever concocted by mankind.”

Effing Feline here again. Okay, which one of you stupid idiots snapped the picture above? [Mr V: There goes resolution #1]

Hey, Mr V, stop inserting your asinine comment into MY blog post. [Mr V: And #2 bites the dust.]

Alright already! At least #3 is intact. I was stealing Mr V’s food, not Twiggles!

Be sure to visit the other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four

She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.

Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.

Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.



  1. The gossip mill definitely has a way of spreading news around, even if it’s not true or has taken on a wild life of its own.

    1. The ubiquity of the gossip mill in this small, enclosed community is a subtheme of the book.

  2. Since Effing is by (self) definition perfect, why should he make resolutions?

    Is that really his photo? Handsome cat! (I am sure he would agree!)

    1. Lisabet, are you sitting? Good. At the grave risk of disillusioning you, I’m an asthmatic who developed cat allergies later in life. All I have now is a virtual cat. At best, then, Effing is virtually perfect.
      Take a few deep breaths, lie down for a while. You’ll get over the blow.

  3. Loved the excerpt – this guy has a lot to learn! Of course the gossip knows more than the official channels LOL. Great story!

    1. He’s a newcomer to the project, so he indeed has a lot to learn.

  4. Sounds like she definitely has the inside scoop! Poor weak-willed Effing. 😦

    1. “Poor Effing?” My, you’ve swallowed his propaganda hook, line, and sinker.

  5. Diane Burton · · Reply

    When will Administration realize the peons always know more? Good snippet. Effing must have conspired with Son’s dog who licked the frosting off a third of a six-layer carrot cake, dessert for Christmas Day. None of us were happy.

    1. Clearly, Diane, you should’ve gone to a Chinese restaurant for dessert.

  6. Hahaha That last line is perfect!

    1. The rumor mill plagues Dusty throughout the novel.

  7. LOL! Never mind the gossip mill, I still want to know what they’re going to do with that bomb!

    1. That’s the problem with reading a book in ten-sentence snippets. If you’re really eager to learn what happens, the book’s available on Amazon, Kobo, iBooks, etc. 😉

  8. Of course the gossip mill is powerful so is falling off a walking safety piece and that’s what I did. Broke a bone, no fun but I do love your story. Keep in touch, dear pal.

    1. So sorry to hear about your broken bone, Charmaine! I’ve been worried about you.

  9. Well, Daryl has her sources and he has his … Guess he’ll learn eventually which is more reliable.

    Silly Effing! Never allow the humans to drag you down to their level by trying to “fix” yourself. =-)

    1. Too late! He’s already “fixed!”

  10. Third, fifth, tenth…when it comes to sabatoge any number greater than 0 is not good. Nice snippet.

    Btw, the linky on the widget at WeWriWa goes here:

    1. Ah, that explains why I haven’t had as many visitors as sometimes. I have no idea why the link is broken, though.

      1. Your url for this week is https://eahoornaert.com/2018/01/06/5992/ – that is, 06 not Jan 26 like the one at the widget. So maybe you were posting from the future? 😉

  11. I think all gossip mills facilitate communication much better than the established channels do. But what a thing to argue about while the bomb is ticking! LOL

    1. They’re communication is at loggerheads at this point.

  12. I love Effing’s resolutions.
    Also, I agree – the gossip mill often beats “security”

    1. Especially since security’s reports have been massaged to make the former project head look good.

  13. The big problem with gossip mills is that the gossip never loses anything in the telling.

    1. Hmm. You haven’t been around any of the gossip mills I’m familiar with. They lose a lot, though never the spectacular bits, only facts.

  14. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Bet the gossip if far more reliable.

    1. At a minimum, it doesn’t omit details to the make the former project leader look less bad. We find out later that’s what’s happened here.

  15. I can’t help wondering – will they ever get rid of that bomb? :0 Great excerpt and banter as usual.

    (Still reeling from the news that Effing *shock horror* isn’t real. That is, he is real of course, just virtual and not furry. Another illusion shattered!)

    1. Is this not the right time to discuss Santa Claus?

      1. LOL! I know he exists, otherwise who would leave pressies underneath my tree? 🙂

  16. They really need to get their priorities straight- first, don’t get blown up. Then argue. Another fun snippet.

    1. In another seven minutes, they’ll be totally on the same wavelengths.

  17. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Great banter. I have the feeling the gossip just might true. 🙂

    1. Thanks! I’m proud of the dialogue.

  18. Gossip isn’t always accurate… but I hope this is, just for how annoyed he’ll be to be wrong! 😀

    1. I like your viewpoint on this, Caitlin.

  19. Ahhh, true so true. The gossip mill is way more efficient at spreading the news than anything else on that ship.

    I couldn’t believe Effing was making those claims to stick to his resolutions. lolol Too funny! I’d love to read a collection of Effing short stories. 🙂

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