Effing Feline Cringes

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, have gotten interested in tracking down my ancestors, and I’ve discovered some cats who are worthy of my bloodline — well as some who are NOT. Clearly, my ancestors must not only have superior intelligence but also je ne sais quoi. That’s Cattish for dignity and gravitas. At the end of this blog post, I’ll show you a few clownish cats who could not possibly be my kin.

But first, another snippet from a December 4 sci fi romance by Ed, my pet human: Rescuing Prince Charming. Last week, tech writer Dusty Johnson shocked herself by searching for a saboteur’s time bomb in the belly of a half-built starship. The bomb is set to go off in mere minutes.  After searching fruitlessly, Dusty finds a lone guard, an alien human, who is also searching for the bomb. She speaks first — and shows that she has quite a mouth when she’s under intense pressure.

“Is that the bomb?”

“I think so.”

“You think so? What kind of bomb disposal expert are you?”

Shaking his head, he stared at the box and scowled. “Expert?”

Dusty’s eyes went wide. “You don’t know bomb disposal, yet you removed the lid? That could’ve set it off, you stupid idiot.” She’d done the same thing when she opened the lunch-pail lid, but that was different…somehow.

Effing Feline here again. I promised pictures of some cats who simply canNOT be part of my noble bloodline. Look at these shameless felines and cringe!

  

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If you can stomach it, click the pics for larger version. How crass! How unfeline! When you’re done screaming in horror, be sure to visit the other writers in the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

Rescuing Prince Charming
Alien Contact for Idiots, book four

Available December 4
Low introductory price

She’s no heroine. He’s no Prince Charming.

Dusty Johnson, a self-styled ordinary, everyday woman, responds with extraordinary heroism when saboteurs try to bomb the prototype of Earth’s first starship. Although she yearns to return to anonymity, that moment of courage propels her ever deeper into dangers that tear the scabs off her dark secrets—and thrust her into the arms of the unattainable man of her dreams.

Reese Eaglesbrood, an alien prince, yearns to restore his tattered reputation by guiding the starship project to completion, but his fascination with the unassuming heroine threatens to undermine his fragile authority. Shunning Dusty is necessary, yet unthinkable—and when the saboteurs strike again, she is his only ally against Earth’s most elusive enemies.

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34 comments

  1. They are in a peck of trouble now. No one knows what to do, but they gotta do something. I loved how she could do something wrong and it was somehow ok. LOL

    1. People who search for times bombs are in a peck of trouble from the get go. This scene just tightens the screws a little.

  2. Everyone knows that real cats refuse to wear costumes. Must be imposters!

    1. Cats who have the hearts of mere housecats, rather than lions can be coerce into wearing costumes

  3. I absolutely love the last paragraph in this snippet, which is saying something since the back and forth between these two already had me chuckling.

    1. The last sentence in that paragraph arose in a late review when I realized she had opened a lunch box while looking for the bomb, and yet she accused him for doing basically the same thing. So she needed to react to the hypocrisy of blaming him.

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    LOL Different somehow… Sure. Love this snippet! Though, I hope they have a chance to argue about it after. Seems they’re wasting time arguing now.

    1. Yes, they talk a lot. It’s essential to build the suspense, and usually they’re doing something at the same time. In my mind the time wasting could be realistic because they don’t know what to do next and it takes a few seconds to settle into agreement. If they were bomb disposal experts they wouldn’t have to endure this period of adjustment.

  5. nancygideon · · Reply

    Oh the indignity indeed!! This from someone who has cat costumes (and I’m sure they feel the same way about them!). Great scene, Ed! Am so enjoying the book!!

    1. May I assume that when you say you have cat costumes, you mean costumes for your cat, rather than whiskers and tails for yourself? I must admit that I’m getting a rather weird image about how you dress to do your writing.

  6. Hope they can muddle through without the requisite expert.

    1. Necessity is the mother of invention. They’ll muddle.

  7. So much fun with costumes, yet!

    1. Effing does NOT consider it fun.

  8. This is hilarious!!

    1. Even when I don’t aim for humor (as here!), it comes out that way. I remember reading once that Jane Austen’s humor arose from the fact that she had an ironic way of viewing the world. I think I share that kind of outlook with her.

  9. Ah, the power of double standards 🙂 Of course, in this situation, doing just about anything is probably a better option than doing nothing …

    1. Yep, we humans tend to justify our own behavior and blame others for the sort of things we ourselves do.

  10. I guess we can forgive a little rudeness when she’s about to be blown up. And Effing, you really can’t blame those cats. They’re obviously in the clutches of evil overlords.

    1. Re: Cats in costumes. In Effing’s case, he’s the evil overlord. At least in his own mind.

  11. Oh these two are clearly made for each other…if they manage not to get blown up, that is. Loved the excerpt!

    1. I’m so glad that’s your reaction to their relationship!

  12. My first instinct was the same as Veronica’s. These two are destined to be sould mates – and I love the dry humour. Effing, it’s not all that often I agree with you (being a ‘shock* *horror* dog person, but I reckon it’s the humans these cats own that are to blame, although they should have objected far more strongly in the first place. My doggy wouldn’t be seen dead in a costume lie those (although he does look cute in his little red Santa Claus coat and scarf at Christmas, but that’s different!)

    1. Seeing that they’re the leads in a sci fi *romance*, they are indeed fated to be soul mates.

      As for the humans being to blame for their cat’s finery, I told Effing that exact same thing. His response: “That’s why Tac (CAT spelled backwards) invented claws.)

  13. Love the cats. The costumes? Not so much.

    1. A person after Effing’s own heart.

  14. Loved the humor in this. Also, the cat pictures!

    1. According to Effing, you’re suppose to hate the cat pictures.

  15. Lol. To be fair, I probably would’ve said the same thing.
    And those cat costumes are so adorable.

    1. So your mouth gets tart when you’re under pressure? As for the costumes, Effing doesn’t think so.

  16. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    LOL. It’s always different when you make the dumb move.

    1. But when you yourself do it, it’s not dumb, it’s an understandable slip of judgment.

  17. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Yikes, no one knows what to do. Hope they think of a plan soon.

    1. After a little bit of dickering, they’ll hit on a plan born in desperation.

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