Effing Feline Googles himself

Photos: DepositPhotos

I, Effing Feline, figured out last week that I must have sisters. I’ve started searching for them. Imagine how awed they’ll be when they learn that I, the world’s most literary cat, am their brother! But I’m having trouble finding them. Can you believe that Google is utterly useless when it comes to searching for cats by name?

It’s not useless for me, of course. Googling “Effing Feline” (with the quotation marks so the search doesn’t pick up ‘feline’ alone) returns 4830 hits.

As I keep telling everyone, I’m world famous!!!! If you don’t believe me, search for yourself.

Okay, the fun stuff is over — back to a snippet from Ed’s sci fi romance, Escapee, featuring the most lovable of ugly pets, the skoot. A storm with winds of 180 mph has crashed their  airship despite Catt’s best attempt to land.

Hector zig-zagged toward consciousness like a drunken balloon, floating ever upward on the draft of Catt’s kiss. No, Catt wasn’t kissing him; she licked him, instead — on the eyelids. Her tongue was rough and her breath was vile.

Oh — it was the skoot, not Catt. “Get away from me.”

When he shoved it away, it yelped. Instead of running, it whined and dragged a broken rear leg across the floor. This place smelled funny, like spilled food and fear, and it was noisy, too, like . . . like a place that should be familiar.

Suddenly, he knew where he was. On Escapee, which had overturned and yet somehow landed right side up.

Effing Feline here again. Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors.

Escapee is a finalist for the 2017 RONE Award for science fiction, so next weekend I’ll be in Burbank, California, for InD’tale Magazine’s InD’Scribe Con and Book Festival. The RONE award ceremony will be Saturday night. Wish me luck!

The African Queen in Outer Space

escapee smaller

Edward Hoornaert’s romantic space opera, Escapee, continues the saga of the Dukelsky family (begun in The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station). If you like The African Queen and the thrill of underdogs finding love while battling a hostile world, you’ll love Escapee.


The Tribulations of Tompa Lee is on sale for only 99c in this month’s promotion run by Patty Jansen. Check out the science fiction adventure section.



  1. Aw, the poor skoot. Taking care of him even though it’s injured.

    1. The skoot’s doing what he can, that’s for sure.

  2. That sounds like a terrifying situation. Poor skoot!

    1. Poor humans, too.

  3. Waking up and finding he is being licked on the eyelids by a skoot probably wasn’t at the top of Hector’s wish list. But he seems like a caring skoot, despite his own injury. I now like him!

    And Effing, I did as you suggested and Googled you. You are definitely famous!

    1. The first several pages of hits are about “our” Effing Feline, but I wonder what cat the last pages are about.

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Well, reality doesn’t seem as nice as what he’d imagined. Nice snippet! 🙂

    1. This is a heck of a situation to wake up to.

  5. Poor skoot! Also it sounds as if the spaceship did a somersault.

    1. That’s pretty much how I envisage it, too.

  6. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Loved his awareness of “her” kisses as he awakes. Poor skoot. Hurt but drags himself over to help Hector.

    1. As Alexis points out, maybe the skoot was’tasting’ him, instead of trying to help him.

  7. So was the skoot caring for him or tasting him? One never knows about our beloved pets, eh, effing? Entertaining snippet as always.

    1. Effing said to tell you that he really doesn’t know about his pet (i.e., ME).

  8. Aww, poor skoot!

    1. Hector gets knocked unconscious, yet everybody’s worried about the skoot. Sheesh!

  9. Like everyone else, I have to say awwww, poor skoot! The scene was quite vivid and I loved how he thought he was getting kissed…and he was, but by the skoot. Great snippet!

    1. The eyelids are funny places to be kissed!

  10. My first thought was also ‘poor little skoot’. Hope it’ll be OK! (And Effing you are definitely famous, not to say ‘infamous’! 🙂 Have a great time at the RONEs next week Ed – I so wish I was going but it’s an awfully long swim across the pond! 🙂 I hope one of us wins and I have to say my money’s on you! 🙂

    1. My money isn’t on me. Any illusions I might’ve had about taking the writing world by storm have eroded away. I’ve been at this 25 years or so, and no storms yet.

      Good luck to you, too. I agree wholeheartedly with something you said awhile back, Hywela — if I don’t win the RONE, I hope you do!

  11. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    Nice little snippet of waking up after the disaster. Despite the humor of being kissed by the skoot instead of Catt, you have the pathos of the skoot’s broken leg, and the realization that they’ve crashed.

    1. Yep, there’s a range of emotions here.

  12. The aftermath of a crash is always distressing. I hope the skoot heals quickly and that they can help it once they sort themselves out. Getting this book today!

    1. It distresses Hector and the skoot, both.

  13. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Poor little skoot. I feel sorry for him.

    1. Uh, Hector got knocked unconscious. Doesn’t he get any sympathy?

  14. From a dream to a nightmare. Now he has to rescue that skoot, and himself!

    1. A crashed airship isn’t going to be an easy thing for him to fix.

  15. nancygideon · · Reply

    Nice way to pull us into the scene, Ed!! I’m glad that wasn’t HER breath! Poor little, Skoot!!

    1. While I’m sure romance heroines have bad breath from time to time, that little detail never seems to make it past the editors and into the final book. I wonder why that is?

  16. Dear Ed, I’m slowly improving enough to enough the wonders of you. How about you read one of my stories since I loved one of yours. Fair is fair. Okay?

    1. Yes, fair is fair. I read and reviewed one of your books a number of months ago, though I don’t remember the title; ebooks hide the titles unless you’re at the very beginning. I also have Beware the Blue Eyed… on my Kindle’s TBR queue. I haven’t forgotten about you!

  17. to enjoy the wonders of you.

    1. I figured it out with no problem.

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