I, Effing Feline, am bereft. Ed, my pet human, has abandoned me to see his son’s dog, Sadie, in some place called Toronto. I suppose he’s visiting with his sons, too — but it’s the dog that bothers me. I’ve been telling cat jokes, but today I’m switching to jokes that make fun of !&*$*# dogs.
Q. What kind of dog eats with his ears?
A. They all do. I’ve never seen a dog remove its ears before eating.
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat when you’re driving?
A. Invite him to bark in the front seat.
Now for another snippet from Mr V’s sci fi romance, Escapee, featuring the skoot, a small, six-legged reptilian pet, rather than boring humans. We also me Lancelot, the android copilot, discussing the skoot. Lance talks first, followed by the pilot heroine, Catt Sayer.
“I think he likes you, Catt.”
“Keep him away from me, Lance. Use force if necessary.”
“Is that an order?”
Hesitating, Catt glanced toward the ’fresher door, where Dukelsky had
disappeared. Lance must obey orders, and in some circumstances force would
make matters worse.
“No,” she sighed. “Use your discretion. For now, though, just keep that
plarking skoot away from me.”
Lance tightened his grip on the ugly reptile, which strained to leap onto her lap
and wash her face with its snaky, germ-laden tongue. How could
people keep such horrid-looking creatures as pets?
Effing Feline here again. Catt, I completely agree with your sentiments about skoot — and the same thing can be said of DOGS!
The African Queen in Outer Space
Edward Hoornaert’s romantic space opera, Escapee, continues the saga of the Dukelsky family (begun in The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station). If you like The African Queen and the thrill of underdogs finding love while battling a hostile world, you’ll love Escapee.