Effing Feline acts nice

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, shall continue to soften my image by telling you more cat jokes.

  • Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? She set a new lap record.
  • What has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night.
  • What side of a cat has the most fur? The OUTside.

See?  I am a nice, pleasant cat after all.

After that round of hilarity, I’ll now destroy your happiness by sharing another snippet from Mr V’s sci fi romance, Escapee. Yawn. All snippets feature the skoot, a small, six-legged reptilian pet, rather than boring humans.

Before Sayer closed the cabinet, Hector glimpsed a sparse but neat array of similar clothes. Didn’t she have even one stylish or feminine outfit?

The skoot hopped off the couch and trailed her toward one of the doors at the back of the room, but she skittered away as though afraid. “Keep away from me, go.”

“Sorry,” Hector said, “but skoots love people and follow them around. That’s how they get their name, because people are always telling them to scoot out of the way.”

“Why’d you bring your pets, anyway — don’t you know there’s a war going on?”

Helplessness made his voice go flat. “These two are the only survivors of the attack. I owe it to whoever owned them to ensure they survive.”

Effing Feline here again. Did you notice the little dig I slipped in about Mr V’s writing? Being nice every minute is simply impossible, and I’m sure you agree.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors — and be nice to them.

The African Queen in Outer Space

escapee smaller

Edward Hoornaert’s romantic space opera, Escapee, continues the saga of the Dukelsky family (begun in The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station). If you like The African Queen and the thrill of underdogs finding love while battling a hostile world, you’ll love Escapee.

My SFRom Alien Contact for Kid Sisters is just one of many science fiction and fantasy books on sale for a limited time for only 99c. (Amazon only)

Sci fi fantasy




  1. Animal survivors, both big and small, deserve help and protection just as much as human survivors! I’ve collected some lovely pictures of soldiers and medics in WWII and WWI helping injured dogs. There was also an Untold Stories of the ER segment about a pet iguana who was hurt in a car accident.

    1. While people deservedly get top priority, animals also deserved help during wartime.

  2. It sounded familiar. I read and reviewed as (TeeKay)The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station. So I went to buy Escapee, and discovered it’s already on my Kindle. ~sigh~

    So many great stories. So stinkin’ little time. Makes me feel kind of grouchy–like a certain cat who shall remain nameless– at least in this comment. 😉

    1. Well sheesh, the least you could’ve done is buy it again!

  3. Ed, you are one high class writer. You just had to tug my heart strings with the last line.

    1. This isn’t the first time Dusty got burned by thinking the worst of Hector.

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    That’s quite the pair of survivors. Great snippet!

    And I enjoyed the cat jokes. 🙂

    1. I’ll tell Effing he did a good job with the humor.

  5. Cathy Brockman · · Reply

    I love the cat Jokes!

    1. That’s two votes in favor of Effing’s humor.

  6. Sayer sounds like me! I need more feminine outfits. I hope the pets do survive. Loved the cat jokes also. Nice touch!

    1. Living alone on an airship with just one room, she doesn’t have a lot of reason to dress sexy.

  7. Jacob Rosemeier · · Reply

    You’ve got a talent for truly bringing emotions alive on a page- or screen. I could picture in my mind how skittish she is. Great work Ed

    1. Just want to check — did you mean skittish or skootish?

      1. Jacob Rosemeier · ·

        Skittish; it seemed like she was pretty nervous. I didn’t even know “skootish” was a word haha

      2. See, you learned something today.

  8. Ha, I like the simple explanation for their name! Makes so much sense!

    1. It’s a lot like how Effing got his name.

  9. Aw, poor babies that lost their family. I’m glad he took them in. And I hope she gets over her fear of them. (I like pets better than people. LOL)

    1. I don’t use enough pets in my stories. You’re hardly the only person who’s a sucker for animals.

  10. That’s a point in Hector’s favour—that he likes animals, even ones like this reptile, not the soft, cuddly ones. (I was going to say like Effing, but he doesn’t seem the cuddly type to me – even though he does know a few jokes.

    1. Throughout the first part of this book, Catt is constantly thinking the worst of Hector for no reason, and she does the same for him. They have a lot to learn about each other.

  11. Diane Burton · · Reply

    You do a good job revealing the inner Hector and showing he’s not all gruff and business-like. Eventually, Catt will realize what a good guy he is.

    1. And eventually he’ll learn the same about her.

  12. Awww, poor skoots! How nice of him to try to take care of them. Enjoyed the snippet!

    1. I have to admit, I love the skoot. Too bad the story’s too long for Pets in Space.

  13. I can see the point, putting animals in danger, but sometimes you really need one around.

    1. The skoot will end up earning his skood foot . . . er, skoot food.

  14. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    Nice glimpse into Hector’s character.

    1. They’re both so prejudiced against each other’s social class that it’s hard for them to see the real person.

  15. Poor little skoots. Intersting how they came by their name and I’m so glad Hector saved them and is committed to caring for them to ensure their survival. I like this guy more and more Effing – you really should be nicer to Ed – don’t bite the hand that feeds you little feller!

    1. Effing’s a cat, which means he’ll be nice to me when it suits him.

  16. And now we know where that name comes from. They follow you around like an adoring, ugly dog. Nice detail!

    1. I had fun making this butt ugly beastie lovable.

      1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There’s no real explanation for the ugly-cute of some animals in particular! o.O

  17. A few simple words, but so much impact. Great last line!

    1. These two constantly misinterpret each other, which leads to opportunities for ‘last lines’ that reinterpret the conversation.

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