Effing Feline Is not Nasty!

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, need to clean up my act. Not my litter; my public image. You see, last week Ed commented that I was ‘The Cat Called Ove,’ a take-off on the name of a novel about a nasty man called Ove.  I am not nasty! To prove it, I’ll be sharing some cat jokes. To whit:

  • Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
    A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY.
  • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
  • How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.

I’m sharing another snippet from Mr V’s sci fi romance, Escapee. All snippets will henceforth feature the skoot, a small, six-legged reptilian pet, rather than boring humans.

A few seconds later, the ship crashed into something with a hideous scraping sound. Hector yelped.

The airship stopped moving. “Anchors down,” she said.

“Anchors down,” the co-pilot confirmed. “Boring into bedrock and…connection secure.”

Grinning, Sayer spun her chair to face Hector. “I thought you liked terra firma, Captain.”

That crash was supposed to pass for a landing? “The yelp,” he said with a straight face, “must’ve been the skoot; Army captains do not yelp.”

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors.  Mr V says to tell you that if he doesn’t comment on your page today, he’ll do it Monday.

Escapee
The African Queen in Outer Space

escapee smaller

Edward Hoornaert’s romantic space opera, Escapee, continues the saga of the Dukelsky family (begun in The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station).  If you like The African Queen and the thrill of underdogs finding love while battling a hostile environment, you’ll love Escapee.

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41 comments

  1. Haha … What a return. Well done 🙂

    1. It can be handy to have an animal around to blame.

  2. Always so much fun, Ed. Be well. Summer is ending

    1. Not in Arizona. Summer goes on and on and on till you’re thoroughly sick of it. It’s almost enough to make me move back to Canada . . . almost.

  3. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    LOL Sure, blame it on the skoot. Great snippet! 🙂

    1. Hey, I don’t hear the skoot complaining.

  4. Oh – he’s not so straight laced after all if he can lie.

    1. I guess his dignity is more important to him that a little white lie.

  5. Blame it on the skoot.
    Tweeted.

    1. That would make a good title for a story: “Blame it on the skoot.”

  6. Fun excerpt! I like the touches of humor you add into your books 🙂

    1. The funny thing is that much of the time I’m not trying to be funny — it just comes out that way.. Son #2 is one of my most dependable beta readers, and he said that his favorite thing about this book was Lance (the android copilot), because he was so funny. But Lance was intended to be tragic, not humorous!

  7. Sure, blame the skoot! I have that effect on my passengers too.

    Like the jokes, Effing. Love a cat with a sense of humour.

    1. Effing has a sense of humor? Maybe, but you have to admit that it’s cat-has-trophic humor.

  8. Haha I love that last line. 😀

    1. The poor man is just trying to salvage his dignity.

  9. Great line “That crash was supposed to pass for a landing? I’m not sure what terra firma is though…theglobaldig.blogspot.com

    1. Terra firma = solid ground. It’s a Latin phrase also used in English sometimes.

  10. Effing, don’t quit your day job as a house cat to go on the comedy circuit. Ed, love that one person’s crash is another’s ten-point landing.

    1. Effing is insulted! He says to tell you his day job is BLOG WRITER, not merely house cat.

  11. I’m pretty sure I’d yelp if it sounded like my ship was getting scraped over the rocks!

    1. I like how both of them are trying so hard to keep their dignity here.

  12. Diane Burton · · Reply

    I groaned over your jokes, Effing. Love your voice in this story, Ed. That bit of sarcasm and understatement adds so much.

    1. I’m bilingual. I speak both sarcasm and understatement. And a little bit of French.

  13. LOL love that last line 🙂 and your Effin’ Feline certainly has a puntastic sense of humor 🙂

    1. I gave your pun the ultimate compliment, Kathy: I groaned at it.

  14. Sounds a bit more ‘terror’ than ‘firmer’! LOL (Yes Effing, two can play at puns, but I did giggle at your feline sense of humour!)

    1. Cats have weird senses of humor. They think torturing mice is hilarious.

  15. nancygideon · · Reply

    A sense we’re in for another fun relationship! Skoot, indeed!

    1. Although this book was inspired by The African Queen, which has only two characters, I felt a strong need for more relationships — such as with the skoot. The beast even has its own character arc . . . er, creature arc.

  16. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Love that last line.

    1. Thanks, Elaine!

  17. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Love that he blamed it on the Scoot. Made me chuckle.

    1. What else are skoots good for if not to take the blame for anything and everything?

  18. The ship must be tough, if it makes landings like that often. And, of course, he didn’t yelp. Had to be the skoot. 🙂

    1. Yep — either the ship is tough or he’s too new to it to realize what a landing sounds like.

      1. That’s a really good point. I recently watched a bit by Eddie Izzard talking about his fear of flying, and that pilots ought to explain the noises a plane makes as it’s landing. Scared people do tend to freak out!

  19. I wonder if she landed like that deliberately.

    1. At this point in their relation ship, she’s quite capable of trying to intimidate him.

  20. My hubby, a retired air force pilot, would appreciate that last line as he once had a rough landing where they blew a tire. He’ll tell you he meant to do that, but….. Who cares if it was stormy and windy.

    1. There are several pilots in my family (United Airlines, air force), and they say the sincerest compliment you can give a pilot is “Nice landing.”

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