Effing Feline wants the kitten to scoot

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, told you that the neighbors have a cute new kitten. Yesterday the kitty hopped over the wall into MY yard. Worse, it paraded up and down in front of the floor to ceiling window in the family room begging to be let in.

The dumb kitten wanted into MY house. I hissed and puffed up my fur, telling it to scoot back to its own yard.

Inspired by the obnoxious kitten, I’m sharing a snippet about an obnoxious pet from one of Mr V’s books I’ve featured here before, Escapee. This SFRom is loosely based on the movie The African Queen, so if you’ve seen the movie, you know the lead characters start out not liking each other but will be thrown together for a long time. In Escapee, however, the roles are reversed:

  • The heroine, Catt Sayer, is the crusty captain of a decrepit airship.
  • The hero, Hector Dukelsky, is a by-the-book army captain forced by an enemy invasion to take refuge on Catt’s airship.

From early in the book, here’s one reason why Catt (lovely name, eh?) dislikes Hector’s company on her ship.

When a woman-eating crocodile leaped on her chest and opened its long snout, filled with dozens of teeth, Catt let out an inarticulate gurgle and shrieked for help.

“Contain your whimpering,” Dukelsky ordered without looking at her. “It’s just a skoot.”

Trying to get the beast to behave, Catt flailed and shouted, “Go away!”

The pet skoot—for that’s what it was, not a crocodile—obeyed. It scrambled backward on six legs and thirty-six clicking toenails and sat in the middle of the floor, staring at her with its long tongue hanging out. Except for sparse fur, its head was crocodilian, as was its rough hide, but its short tail was plumed and its legs were like a dog’s, even if there were six of them. The lolling tongue was sort of doglike, too, except it was longer than an anteater’s. All in all, a hideous combination of features. She would never understand why people kept them as pets.

Effing Feline here again. The #*@^% kitten looks exactly like a skoot. I don’t understand why people keep the ugly things as pets!

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors. And if you like pictures of cute little humans (although they’re almost as bad as cute kittens, because they pull tails) take a peak at Ed’s new grandson.

The African Queen in Outer Space

escapee smallerEdward Hoornaert’s romantic space opera, Escapee, continues the saga of the Dukelsky family (begun in The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station).  If you like The African Queen and the thrill of underdogs finding love while battling a hostile environment, you’ll love Escapee.

Don’t let this rousing adventure escape from you.




  1. You described it very well as a hideous combination of features and I agree with her thoughts on it.

    1. For all its ugliness, the skoot becomes a comic relief character on their sometimes grim journey.

  2. Wretched beasties, to be sure. Congrats on the new grandbaby!

    1. Uh . . . did you just call my grandson a wretched beastie?

  3. You’ve written a wonderful snippet, Ed. Funny plus scary is the best.

    1. By the end of the book, I hope the skoot has become lovable, as well.

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    I’d be frightened by that skoot, too.

    That is one brave neighbor kitten you have. How dare it tease you like that!

    1. I don’t know if the kitten is brave or stupid.

  5. Brilliant excerpt as always! (As an animal lover I have to admit that a skoot would probably not be my first choice as a pet though.) Effing – you just wait till that little kitty grows up, I’m sure you’ll find it a lot prettier – and it’s just trying to be friendly you know! (Coincidentally, the heroine in my novel ‘Beloved Enemy’ is called Cat, I’ll be posting about her eventually, I thnk you’ll like her! She has an unusual pet too) Oh – congratulations on the new little grandson, Ed, he’s gorgeous!

    1. In Escapee, Catt’s name is homage to Katharine Hepburn and her character in The African Queen, though I didn’t want to be too obvious about it. The character is Rose Sayer, hence Catt’s last name, and I changed Katharine to ‘Catteroon’ (a Welsh name) just to be different.

  6. I love your description of the skoot. Who needs a cute furry pet?

    1. Considering the familiars you give your characters, Aurora, I can’t say I’m surprised by your attitude toward cute furry pets.

  7. OK, wow, my heart is still pounding here – quite a dramatic excerpt, loved how calm he was, since he knew it was just the pet LOL. Quite a cinematic scene. I always think this book has such a terrific concept! Great snippet.

    1. At the risk of immodesty, I’ve always enjoyed this scene. The difference between what she thinks is going on and what’s really going on makes me chuckle.

  8. Well, at least it scoots when it is told to. But 36 toenails clicking on the floor – arghh.

    1. Just think of the damage 36 toenails could do to a rug.

  9. That’s certainly an interesting creature. I want a picture of it!

    1. I do too . . . but alas, I’m no artist and I didn’t have my camera with me while imagining the beast.

  10. There’s no accounting for what some people find cute. That beastie doesn’t sound lovable at all, I agree.

    Hang in there, Effing!

    1. Skoots have their strong points, as readers learn in the course of the novel.

  11. Diane Burton · · Reply

    What a creature! Scary for her, yet he’s blase. Just got a copy of Escapee. The description of your hero & heroine remind me of mine in The Pilot, so I know I’m going to enjoy this story.

    1. Great minds think alike, Diane!

  12. Not my choice of pet either! You have quite an imagination.

    Congratulations on the new grandchild. Afraid there’s no link between age and hair loss. My 93 year old Dad is a great-grandfather, and has a full head of hair.

    1. Supposedly one’s maternal grandfather’s head is the best indicator of whether a guy will go bald. My grandfather was a cue ball. It makes me wonder where my grandmother had been. For her era, she led a pretty wild youth before she settled down in middle age.

  13. Wow, what an alien pet. Great description. I hope you can keep that kitten at bay, Effing.

    1. Poor Effing. He imagines insults everywhere to his feline grandiosity.

  14. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    I love your concept for the story, and your rationale for Catt’s name. Nicely done.

    1. Obviously you’ve been reading the comments, Andrea!

  15. Hey, Effing. Be grateful that’s a kitten next door and not a skoot! Awesome description. I bet they make great guard gators.

    1. You may be right about the guard gator thing. I know I wouldn’t want to cross one of these beasties.

  16. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    I don’t think I’d want such a pet either!

    1. Poor skoots aren’t getting any love around here,,

  17. “Inarticulate gurgle” I can relate to that. Very fun snippet.

    1. Oh come now. You’re a writer, so I’m sure your gurgles are very articulate.

  18. That skoot is definitely a unique looking creature. The snippet is also great. 😀

    1. Unique as in “repulsive?”

  19. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    I’d be frightened by that skoot, too. Love the description.

    1. Looks can be deceiving, though.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: