Effing Feline celebrates Canada Day

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, wish you a happy Canada Day. What’s that you say? You didn’t know July 1 is Canada Day? And you know nothing about Canada?

In truth, there’s only one thing you need to know. It’s cold, so there are radiators. We cats love radiators.

Today, another snippet from Ed’s WIP, Secrets of Love and War. Last week, the captured human bomber pilot awoke in hospital and mistook alien doctors for monsters.

Cynthia O’Connor lives on the alien world. She is visiting her clan sister in hospital (yes, Kaushelle survived) and she hears human screams. When she investigates, she meets doctors who had fled the pilot’s violence.

“We are charged with healing the pilot who bombed Peace to All Species Park,” the doctor with blue hair said, “but now –“

“He survived?” Cynthia said.  “I hoped he was dead.”

“Humans excel in designing armor to protect themselves.” Sky Blue dipped his upper body as though complimenting her personally. “My team was removing him from the regenerator to bathe the chemicals off his skin when he suddenly awoke.  He fights us, calls us monsters — us! — but perhaps one of his own species . . . ?”

When she understood the unspoken question, Cynthia’s skin crawled as though attacked by a swarm of shit-slitherers. But she’d do anything to make amends for the pain and damage her species had caused.

“Of course I’ll help you deal with him,” she said, proud of her self-control — until another vile curse bellowed from the room and made her shiver in revulsion.

Effing Feline here again. Ed, my pet human, used to live in Canada, and he told me about the Great White North. Here’s what he said: “Blah blah cold blah blah ice blah blah snow.” Yawn.

I repeat: radiators.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday authors.

Patty Jansen is Australian, not Canadian, yet she’s running one of her excellent science fiction promotions July first and second. Over a hundred books are 99c — including Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, which is reduced by 66%. Click the picture to find Kid Sisters in the science fiction romance section.

Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds a hero to save her — or is he kidnapping her, instead?

Marianne Harmon dreams of being a warrior rather than the pampered kid sister of the queen, but when rebels strike, she’s thrust into a more dangerous adventure than she’d bargained for. Can she trust the man in a Royal Guardian’s uniform who’s trying to save her . . . or seduce her . . . or maybe even kidnap her?

If you like romantic adventures like Romancing the Stone, you’ll love Alien Contact for Kid Sisters.

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43 comments

  1. Humans are revolting – lol

    1. Sometimes, sometimes.

  2. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Does she really want to go in there? I wouldn’t…not with all the curses.

    1. I’m glad you appreciate that agreeing to help shows her courage

  3. I absolutely love the irony that he bombed Peace to All Species Park. Humans are so superior (NOT). I don’t blame Cynthia for not wanting to deal with this SOB, but am proud she’s taking him on.

    1. I love that irony, too. From his POV, however, he dropped the bomb in the lagoon rather than on inhabited parts of the city.

  4. I love how offended the doctor is. “… calls us monsters-us!-…” haha

    1. Other commenters have mentioned how the situation makes humans look inferior. Clearly the doctors agree!

      1. Yeah I can definitely see that, it is somewhat demeaning towards the human race.

  5. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Canada is not always cold, but being able to stand those below freezing temperatures is part of the toughness of Canadians. It’s the hot days that bother me. Happy Canada Day!

    Such an intriguing snippet! I look forward to this story being published so I can read the entire thing. 🙂

    1. I remember the Quintessential Canadian Conversation a few years ago when I manned the SFWA booth at the Toronto book fair. One of the authors pulled out her phone to show a picture of the snow that had fallen at her house. Julie Czerneda came back with a description of how horrible the snow had been at her place. I sat back and enjoyed two Canucks complaining about their favorite topic — the weather.

  6. Happy Canada Day, Ed!

    “A swarm of shit-slitherers” makes my eyes water thining about it!

    1. Agreed, love the shit-slitherers as well. I think a bit different transition into the next line may turn this paragraph…” into heaven by a swarm of shit-slitherers. But she’d do anything to make amends for the pain and damage her species had caused.” This line didn’t seem to speak to the unspoken question. #wewriwa

      1. Interesting thought. Thanks, Trin.

    2. I almost edited that phrase out, because I prefer to limit profanity.

  7. Happy Canada Day to you, too. But I’d like everyone to know not all of Canada is cold. 🙂 It’s a warm, sunny day here in the Niagara Peninsula. 68F and climbing fast.

    1. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re talking about the southernmost stretch of the country. I hailed from the northern Rockies, approximately 500-600 miles farther north and hundreds, maybe thousands of feet higher. Summer lasted 2-3 weeks.

  8. What a great snippet, Ed. I absolutely love it.

    1. Thanks so much, Charmaine. Any luck finding a writing group?

  9. nancygideon · · Reply

    Happy Canada Day, eh! Love the surprising POV your story takes on, with the hero as “the ugly American (human)”.

    1. What else would people on an alien planet possibly feel about an enemy human? But Cynthia shares their opinion, which is my sneaky way of emphasizing that at the beginning of the book, she identifies more with the aliens than with her own species.

  10. She’s brave! I hope she can help, and I appreciated the fact that the very people he’d bombed were going to take care of him with such concern. Great snippet!

    1. It sounds like you’ve gotten all the emotional subtleties I was aiming for.

  11. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    “Cynthia’s skin crawled as though attacked by a swarm of shit-slitherers.” I feel her pain.

    1. And her disgust!

  12. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Happy belated Canada Day to you, my friend! Effing has it just about right. lol. The weather was miserable here yesterday, but we still had a fabulous time celebrating. Can’t keep us Canucks down, and I see the same is true for your heroine. She’s a force to be reckoned with! 🙂

    1. Let’s hope you’re right about Cynthia, Julie.

  13. Happy Canada Day to all who celebrate it – including Ed and Effing. I thought it was only we Brits who talked about the weather though! 🙂 Another great excerpt. I love her feelings of disgust and revulsion towards one of her own species and she is certainly to be admired for her dedication and courage. (And I’ve often wondered how an alien species totally different in appearance to us would react to seeing a human for the first time) I hate to disagree with Trin but I have to say I thought the sentence about the shit slitherers worked perfectly as a reaction to understanding his ‘unspoken question’, if I’ve read it right!

    1. Brits complain about the weather? But there’s no weather over there to complain about, compared to Canada. 🙂
      Or even to Arizona, where we’ve had 18 straight days of at least 41 Celsius, ranging up to 46. Ugh.

  14. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    This does make humans look bad.

    1. This is one side of humanity, for sure.

  15. Ah, they finally meet- or are about to. Interesting take on humans.

  16. Very interesting perspective here…

    1. First you see things from one perspective, then from the other. Soon enough, they merge.

  17. I don’t think any individual is to blame for–or can atone for–the sins of a whole species, but it does sound like they need some help! Hopefully a familiar(ish) face will help calm him down!

    1. And thus entangle Cynthia in his affairs. Good guess, Caitlin.

  18. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Great scene. I can’t wait until they meet. Should prove interesting. 🙂

    1. This will (almost) be their first real meeting, except that he’s groggy from his injuries and drugs.

  19. This story is a lot m roe complex than I’d believed it to be. What a pickle she is in.

    “…shit slitherers…” lol That is getting pretty low. 🙂

    1. Hmmm…wonder how that ‘more’ turned into “m roe” ?? 🙂

      1. Oh, I can help you there, and the explanation is very simple.

        If you remember, the book opened with Cynthia about to step into Twisted Lizard Lagoon in this park. Among the fish species in the lagoon is one called Pordocampus Varshillimaculpus, commonly called a Marauder Fish. While the fish itself is inedible, causing rather nasty diarrhea that lasts, on and off, for a week, the roe are not only edible, they’re a delicacy. Think caviar, but on an alien world.

        The lightly boiled egg sacs, when served with the alien equivalents of ginger and butter, are beloved of all the sentients who live on this planet. The name of the roe when prepared thusly is Marauder Roe. More commonly “m roe”. Obviously you were somehow channeling the name of this dish — and I really must congratulate you on the miraculous strength of your ESP.

        See, I told you the explanation was simple!

  20. I wonder what her reaction will be when she sees him. Can’t wait to read more!

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