Effing Feline improves English

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, decreed last week that CATastrophe should become DOGtastrophe. The world listened — of course! A Google search yields 2,680 results — and if you don’t believe me, Google it yourself. Building on my success, I hereby decree that:

  • cataclysm is now dogaclysm
  • catatonic is now dogatonic
  • caterwaul is now doggerwaul

Expect more improvements to the English language next week.

Today, another snippet from Mr V’s WIP, Secrets of Love and War. We’ve seen the devastation of war from the POV of Cynthia O’Connor, a human resident of an alien world, and last week we met the pilot of one of the Terran bombers.

As it turns out, Norse is the only pilot in the suicide mission to reach the planet’s surface. Here’s how his “successful” bombing run ends.

Norse tried to pull up over the rim of the gorge, but the crippled ship didn’t respond.  He was nearly at tree level now, and the scenery flew past in an end-of-life blur. As he dropped the last bomb, one thing stood out . . . one person.

A wide-eyed woman stood on a rocky bluff overlooking the lake.  He hoped she wouldn’t get caught in the blast; really hoped the last thing he ever saw wasn’t the face of an innocent woman he’d killed.

By the time that thought formed he was past her, hurtling toward a wall of trees at the end of the gorge. No time for regret, or even one last memory of his parents and siblings back on the Faeroes. Trees, low-tech trees, brought him down more effectively than any of the Rixie’s fancy weaponry.

Effing Feline here again. Can you guess who that lone woman is? And does this qualify as a “meet cute?”

Mr V points out that very few words begin with dog-, which is, of course, appropriate. One that does is dogma, and that word can remain. You must admit, it’s a bitch of a word.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

In case you missed it, weekend warrior Cara Bristol wrote an interesting series about her experiences using ads to generate downloads for her free books. There’s a lot of nitty-gritty information here.

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65 comments

  1. And you’re teasing us again … LOL … interesting snippet, and interesting way to meet “a woman” … he’ll survive, won’t he 😉

    1. Well, he’s the love interest, so I’ll let you make up your own mind about whether he’ll survive.

  2. I love the subtle humour in his disgust at being nailed with something so low tech. Cute meet? More Ironic than cute, I think?

    1. I specialize in irony, it seems.

  3. Good old trees, maybe they might spare him and he might avoid to fight for a little while.

    I wonder why you want to give so much credit to dog effing, they don’t seem to be able to do much without being told too. Pretty dogatonic all of them. lol

    1. You’ve gotten in the swing of things, Linda!

  4. ” . . an end-of-life blur” – good description! And since he’s the love interest, I have to think he’s going to make it out alive.

    PS – catatonic is one of my favorite words!

    1. “PS – catatonic is one of my favorite words!” Effing growled and asked me to remind you that the word is now “dogatonic.”

  5. Well no one will become catatonic OR dogatonic reading one of your comments, Effing! LOL! Lots of excitement and great descriptions in this snippet!

    1. Let’s hope Hudson doesn’t take issue with Effing. It would be like cats and dogs!

  6. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Will she rescue him??? Now that would make it a meet cute. Effing is rather full of himself today, isn’t he? Can’t wait to read which words he’ll transform next week.

    1. Isn’t Effing always full of himself?

  7. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    I would imagine that is the heroine of the story. Such an interesting way for them to see each other for the first time. Looking forward to reading more! 🙂

    Effing is definitely on his way to changing the world. He’s starting with the dictionary. I wonder what book he’ll take on next. 😉

    1. You’re right about the heroine being the onlooker. Their fates are intertwined even at this early stage.

  8. I think the meet cute is yet to come. The low-tech trees will probably only stop his ship, not kill him, unless he’s to become a ghost she falls in love with. But I doubt that. 🙂 Strong writing in this snippet. Good voice for the character. Effing, don’t forget doggerel–verse or words badly written or expressed. Shouldn’t that one stay?

    1. I asked Effing about doggerel, and he says that Caterall is already taken. It’s the name of an actress on Sex and the City, and Effing tells me he doesn’t want to cause her even a tiny bit of confusion, because she’s partly responsible for the popularization of a word he approves of: COUGAR, for an older woman who romances younger men.

  9. Yikes! What a scary first glimpse. Or last. Exciting snippet!

    1. They’ll meet face to face soon, though not immediately.

  10. If that’s successful can’t imagine what unsuccessful is. I hope they really meet in another circumstance. Great snippet!

    1. Unsuccessful = 31 bombers shot down before they get close enough to the surface to release their bombs.

  11. I like dogatonic!

    Fun beginning – seeing your future girl minutes before you crash!

    1. LOL. You have a warped idea of fun, Aurora — and I like it!

  12. Seems as though this whole bombing her planet thing is going to present a major hurdle to their relationship. But I trust you to be able to work it out, Ed. With Effing’s help, of course.

    1. Hey, what’s a little bombing between friends?

  13. Totally wonderful, Ed, the way you ‘ve written this and the drama of it all.

    1. I aim for drama. Sometimes I’m afraid of tipping into melodrama, but most of the times my writerly arrogance insulates me from the fear.

  14. Oo yes quite the meet cute! Good word switches, Effing Feline.

    1. I think you might even say it’s a bloody good meet cute.

  15. Great snippet and I’m still curious about the background of the war and everything else.

    1. You know as much about the war as readers do at this point in the book. The background will come, though.

  16. Oo yes quite the meet cute! Good word switches, Effing Feline.

  17. nancygideon · · Reply

    Excellent scene, Ed! You always drop us into the most interesting places without showing us the way out.

  18. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Is this maybe the start of a great romance between him and the woman?

    1. Not quite yet. First comes the nursing, then the being thrown together by political turmoil, followed by frenzied escape from internal enemies.,

  19. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    Who knew Effing was such a linguistic improvement activist?
    I’m glad this isn’t really Norse’s end.

    1. Effing says he lives (and I quote) “to make da Engllish langwage bedder.” Personally, I think he needs to work on his spelling first.

  20. Nice snippet. Stopping in for the #getsocial17 event.

    1. I remember your blog, Angela. Thanks for popping by.

  21. I love your witty posts, Ed. Although I’m really a dog person I think I will adopt the word ‘dogerwaulling’ since my little terrierist does that frequently when *whisper* he sees a being of the feline persuasion!

    Great excerpt too – is she going to forgive him? Congrtulations on being a finalist in the RONEs. Let’s hope at least one of us wins! 🙂

    1. Before Cynthia can love a man she has a lot of baggage to overcome — she vastly prefers aliens to humans — even before Norse bombed the hell out of her world. She has to come to terms with her own species, and he has to start caring again, period.

    2. And regarding the RONE, it’s kind of neat to be competing with someone I’ve gotten to know.

  22. Great snippet. Looking forward to the next.

    1. I’ll ‘see’ you next week, then.

  23. Another fantastic snippet – love the way you left us hanging with 2 massive question – who is the woman and does he live?? I’m guessing he does or else you’ve written a very short book 🙂
    Tweeted.

    1. Well, the last few years I find myself writing shorter and shorter….

  24. Oh those low tech trees – gotta watch out for them! Enjoyed the excerpt, not too sure about ‘dogaclysm’ but I give Effing credit for trying 🙂

    1. Pilots especially need to look out for trees.

  25. Sometimes low-tech is pretty effective! This is a pretty rough meet-cute if it qualifies.

    1. Personally I dont think it qualifies, but it occurred to me it is the first time they see each other, even if for even a nanosecond.

  26. Love the cliffhanger ending! 😀

    1. These ares also the final lines of chapter 2. The idea is to make it impossible for the readers to put down the book, even at the chapter break.

  27. Outstanding scene. I liked knowing his thoughts while he thinks his end is coming. 🙂

    Oh my, that Effing,

    Okay, I admit, I googled it. lol

    1. You don’t trust Effing’s word on the number of hits? My, my. I can’t say I blame you, though.

  28. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    What a way to make an introduction. lol I’m assuming of course he survives and so does she. 🙂
    Nail biting scene!

    1. They’re the romantic leads, so yeah, they probably survive..

  29. I have a dog so Dogatonic would work just fine for me and dogtastic works for me too. I’ve also had rats so rattastic would also work for me. Thanks for sharing the snippet.

    1. Taking into account that your moniker is “Ratmom”, you really need to be more careful how you word this idea, because it could be taken more than one way: “I’ve also HAD RATS….” 😉

  30. ameliatreader · · Reply

    Wouldn’t caterwaul become doggerel?

  31. Interesting post and snippet! 🙂 #getsocial17

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Jess.

  32. Love the tone of this.

    1. That’s good, because tone or voice can help to draw readers in.

  33. Why not call it a meet cute. LOL!!! Exciting scene. 🙂

    1. I guess it doesn’t matter so much what I call it, so long as it’s exciting.

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