Effing Feline trembles in the face of time

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, saw some pictures today of a previous family cat, Willie. He was a handsome black and white feline, large, disdainful, and masculine (though ‘fixed’).

Yet I find the pics profoundly disturbing.  There was a cat before me? There will be cats after me? My mind rebels against the utter absurdity of time and existence.

Today, a final selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Tompa’s lone Shon defender is a feeble old coot named Awmit — but she’s about to get another. Dante Roussel threw away his Space Navy career to help Tompa, and at dawn he finally catches up to her. Here’s her reaction to his ultimate sacrifice.

“This one sees . . .” Awmit began, then paused. “This one sees truthfully a human?”

Tompa glanced fifty yards downstream, toward the cave halfway up the cliff, where Awmit stood with his hands covering his eyes against the harsh morning sunlight. She turned back to watch the cop. “Yeah, he’s human, but he’s one of them. An accuser.”

“No,” Roussel said. “I’m here to help you.”

“Your kind of help I don’t need, you puking maggot!”

Effing Feline here again. Now you have a full idea of the conflict in The Trial of Tompa Lee. An angry feisty heroine, a unappreciated hero, and hordes of bloodthirsty aliens.

But … is it really possible that this whole book was written, released in hardcover, re-released in paperback and ebook … before I even existed? How could anything have existed before me?  Sure, time exists independently of humans — that’s obvious — but independently of CATS?

I need someone to pet me, quick.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

Effing Feline divider

Trial of Tompa Lee

Tompa Lee thinks joining the Space Navy is a dream come true, but it turns into a nightmare when she’s framed for murder on an alien planet. To prove her innocence, she’ll have to trust the policeman who betrayed her to cruel alien justice—and defeat 300 aliens who want to slaughter her.

Edward Hoornaert’s science fiction saga begins The Trilogy of Tompa Lee, though each book in the series stands alone.  If you enjoy seeing lowly underdogs overcoming awe-inspiring odds, you’ll love The Trial of Tompa Lee.



  1. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Sounds like he’s going to have to win her trust, but I don’t blame her for not believing him. Great snippet!

    And Effing, I can tell you that pet owners love their pets all the same, no matter how many at a time, or when they are part of their lives.

    1. Your reassurance to Effing will, I fear, fail to make him purr. For him, the owner’s feelings are secondary to the cat’s.

  2. Ah, Effing, welcome to existential angst, something thoughtful humans feel a lot. Breathe, and know – this too shall pass. And here is a cyber cuddle just for you.

    Mr V, I love how you contrast Awmit and Roussel. Two unlikely allies. I also love her epithet. In all the Multi-verse what could be worse?

    1. Tompa’s vividly saucy vocabulary strikes again!

  3. Yeouch! Puking maggots. I hope they figure out a way around her distrust.

    ~~pets Effing~~

    1. She definitely has a lively vocabulary.

  4. Ouch … i’d say not the reaction he expected.

    1. A relatively minor injustice compare to hers, of course.

  5. I hope he wasn’t expecting her to jump up and down and throw her arms around him and yell, “My prince has come to save me!” because if he was, he’s probably very disappointed.

    1. Well, he probably also wasn’t expecting her to try to kill him, either, which is what she does next..

  6. Sounds military–puking maggot. lol. She’s tough!

    Poor effing… when facing time, we all kind of tremble now and again. 🙂

    1. Time has a way of reducing all our dreams and intentions to trembles.

  7. Tompa Lee is as feisty as Effing.

    1. Her feistiness is a cover for profound vulnerability, though. I’m not sure the same can be said for Effing, even though he appears vulnerable on this particular day.

  8. Oh, Tompa, you do make life hard on yourself here! But I enjoyed the tone! Great snippet and really makes the reader want to keep reading for the ensuing conversation…

    1. She’s very independent, but the down side of that is an inability to trust others.

  9. Well, he’s not having an easy time gaining her trust. Poor Effing and his existential crisis!

    1. She doesn’t give trust easily, especially not to men and especially not the men who are policemen.

  10. She certainly has a way with words!

    1. Translation: That girl has one hell of a nasty mouth. 😉

  11. I love Tompa’s feisty nature – my type of gal! I have read part of this while on holiday – enjoying it. Unfortunately the lure of the pool proved too great for me to finish it – but I will!

    1. You mean to tell me you chose a Portuguese pool over Tompa Lee?

      Wise woman.

  12. nancygideon · · Reply

    My characters feel the same way when they discover there was someone before them on my computer screen. It’s a cruel world. But at least they’ve never called me a puking maggot! (At least not to my face!)

    1. LOL. This brings up an interesting idea: considering the pain we inflict on our characters, I doubt they would say nice things about us.

  13. Puking Maggot – that sounds beyond disgusting and is up there with Shakespeare and his great curses.

    1. Wow — this is the first time anyone has ever mentioned Shakespeare when talking about my writing. Can I quote you?

  14. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    Effing, there never was, nor will there ever be, another feline of your caliber! [Virtually petting you now.]
    Too bad Tompa doesn’t know how to verbalize her gratitude.

    1. I think Tompa verbalized her feelings with great exactness.

  15. Diane Burton · · Reply

    She does have a way with words. LOL Poor Effing. What a shock for him to discover he’s not your first cat.

    1. I’m sure Effing will have recovered from the shock by the time he’s finished dinner.

  16. Puking maggots. Nice.

    1. “Nice?” You *like* puking maggots? Weird.

  17. A puking maggot is way worse than a regular maggot! You have humor and conflict!

    Love your WeWrWa logo!

    1. From that picture of a flying cat grew the entire Effing Feline mystique.

  18. Not exactly the best way to describe your hero, but she may eventually get beyond that description. I hope he doesn’t take offence. Well, not too much. Effing, seize the day! Live like there is no tomorrow (or catnip or mice).

    1. It’s fair to say that this isn’t love at first sight.

  19. kimmydonn · · Reply

    Gee, sounds like they’ll get along so well. Great way to amp up the tension.

    1. Argue, argue, argue … but at least the issue between them is real and not fabricated out of tissue.

  20. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    I don’t think Tompa believes him. lol

    1. What make you say that, Karen?

  21. Great snippet, and one heck of a closing line. 😉

  22. Thanks, Amy. That’s what to look for when choosing snippets, a memorable final line.

  23. There might be other cats, Effing, but none of them are quite like you!

    She does need his help, even if she doesn’t want to admit it. Hope he convinces her!

    1. You’re right, she does need him. After all, his presence lowers the odds from 150 to 1 all the way down to 100 to 1. 😉

  24. That was pretty harsh. 😦 Great snippet.

    1. Perhaps it is harsh, but from her point of view, he’s the scumbag who turned her over to cruel Shon justice. On top of that, she had a lot of horrible experiences with policemen back when she lived on the streets back on Earth. She really hates the police.

  25. “Dante Roussel”? … Your name is eerily familiar to that of someone who maintained a website devoted to the music of Albert Roussel, so that’s… a thing.

  26. (Similar. Not familiar. I need to relearn basic grammar. Moving right along.)

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