I, Effing Feline, fear that I may have given my gentle readers the idea I’m mean, ill tempered, narcissistic, and cantankerous. A devil cat, so to speak.
Nothing could be more wrong! Truly, I am sweet, lovable, purrfect, a veritable saint of a cat. I never scratch, or pee outside the box, or speak ill of anyone or anything. Not even Twiggles the Dog. (Well, maybe sometimes.)
Now that we’ve cleared that up, another selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee by my pet human Ed, aka Mr Valentine. Last week Tompa conned a guy into getting her into the briefing about her first ever shore leave on an alien planet. After the briefing, sailors chose small groups for the trip.
But Tompa is a low-class street meat, subject to the fierce prejudice against her kind. No one wants her in their group. Finally the boss of her work team approaches her — though only at the behest of policeman Dante Roussel (who will become the book’s hero to Tompa’s heroine). Her boss, Paolo McShallin, speaks first:
“Shore leave on an alien planet requires teamwork, Ship’s Ward, and despite your admirable willingness to learn, you’re a hardened loner. I’m asking you to join our group only because Associate Vice President Roussel insists.”
“So … the head of Military Discipline picked the strictest bunch of holy howlers he could find to make sure I behave?”
McShallin gave a brief smile. “As I’ve stated in my reports, your native intelligence is keen.”
But you’re a lousy team player. The whole flickin’ Navy was one big team, standing up for each other, protecting each other. How the ratshit was she supposed to make full Navy with crap like that on her record? Pretending to think, Tompa hugged her arms over her chest and turned away until she was sure no tears shone in her eyes. “No matter what, I want to see the aliens, so I’ll go with you.”
Effing Feline here again. Tompa’s kinda like me. Fierce and crusty on the outside, but all gooey and vulnerable on the inside. Truly, I would never hurt even a fly. (Unless it had walked through spaghetti sauce. Or gravy. Or icing from a birthday cake. Then, yum!)
The Trial of Tompa Lee
Only her enemies can save her from alien injustice
Tompa Lee thinks joining the Space Navy is her dream come true, but it turns into a nightmare when she’s framed for murder on an alien planet. To prove her innocence, she’ll have to learn to trust the hated policeman who betrayed her to cruel alien justice — and defeat 300 aliens who want to slaughter her.
If you enjoy cheering for lowly underdogs facing awe-inspiring odds, you’ll love The Trial of Tompa Lee.
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The Trial of Tompa Lee is currently free, so this is a great time to make it your own: