Effing Feline says “Let your cat write!”

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

My pet human, Ed Hoornaert, is incredibly lucky that I, Effing Feline, write these blog posts for him.  He tried writing the other day after a hiatus due to various ills, and look what happened to his hand:


Yes, folks, typing is dangerous!  So all of you writers out there:

  • Get a cat.
  • Feed it well.
  • Pet it.
  • And teach it to type.

And now another cat-selected excerpt from Newborn. Maybe the last one. Maybe not.

An important aspect of the book I’ve neglected is that Jo Beaverpaw, our heroic alien assassin, is actually a Native American from the future.  In this scene, we see how the arrival of Jo’s futuristic nation, Kwadra, has affected today’s aboriginal people. (Edited slightly from the published text.)

Rob was slow-spoken at first, but his words gained speed like an avalanche. He told me how much he owed Kwadra, and how depressed and downtrodden his people had been. Now that Kwadrans were bestowing unimaginable technology from the future, Indians everywhere felt new pride.

“I’m as good as any White.” He jutted out his chin as though daring Darby to disagree.

“From what I’ve heard, Rob, you always were,” Darby said mildly. “Good fisherman, smart mechanic, and bound to be a good father.”

Rob grinned again, and I sensed he didn’t do that twice in one day very often. “So that means I’m better than any White now.”

We dropped him off on the outskirts of the village. After inviting me to visit his newborn daughter any time, any time at all, he sauntered toward a rusty, single-wide trailer as though it were a castle and he, its king.

Effing Feline here again.  This excerpt makes me wish Ed had written about the arrival of a nation of technologically advanced cats from the future. Maybe then I’d get the respect I deserve!

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

Effing Feline divider


She was born to kill


Jo Beaverpaw is born fully grown, well-armed, and impatient to tackle her Destiny … which is to kill her alien nation’s most wanted fugitive. Her life is pre-programmed and straightforward – until she meets the sexy bodyguard of her intended target.

If you’re intrigued by the idea that the Schwarzenegger-assassin in the original Terminator could’ve been a bad-assed (yet petite) female, don’t miss Newborn.

Find Newborn at:

Effing Feline divider

A bunch of writers have banded together in a book promotion designed to help struggling authors.  Each of us has made a donation to the cause, and for each of my books that people purchase during the promotion (Newborn and Guardian Angel of Farflung Station), more money gets donated to charity. It’s a win-win!







  1. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Love Darby’s quiet response, judging a person by what they are not their ethnicity. Good snippet, Ed. Take care of yourself.

    1. Darby can handle people pretty well.

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    It’s interesting that technology makes a person feel more confident, but I like how Darby tries to keep the man’s thoughts in perspective. Nice snippet! 🙂

    1. These two men play well against each other.

  3. I’m reading Newborn, had to set it down at 11:30 last night. Wonderful tale so unusual and wait ’til you get to the. . .sorry, I won’t tell.
    By the Way, our 4 count ’em 4 cats can type as they trod over the keys.
    Be well, dear Ed.
    Review when I finish Newborn today. My hubs has Amazon account so it will be in his name-Don Thorkelson.

    1. Hope you enjoy the ending, Charmaine!

  4. Effing may have a good storyline there, Mr V. Advanced Alien Cat Heros – aach for short?

    Racial atitudes and racial self-images make fascinating reading. Excellent food for thought.

    1. Good point about racial self-images; society’s view of a race can really mess up individuals’ opinions of themselves. We internalize what society thinks of us.

  5. I wish more people felt confident they were as good as anyone else.

    1. Right on, Aurora. Heck, I’m a old white guy, reasonably successful in my artistic endeavors, and most of the time I don’t feel as confident as Rob does in this scene.

  6. Fabulous excerpt. Really liked it.
    Glad Effing feline was able to type your post for you – that hand looks painful. Get better fast.

    1. It’s just a weird bruise, not really painful, and it’s already mostly gone.

  7. Darby seems to know how to handle the situation without making it worse. It’s good that Rob feels uplifted after the conversation.

    1. He’s an ex-RCMP officer, so I envision him as having taken enough sensitivity training to handle moments like this.

  8. I always liked Rob, and this scene was one of my favs!

    1. I’m glad, Amy. I loved Rob and his wife enough that I kept enhancing their roles. They’re still minor characters, but they got 2 or 3 times the exposure as in the first draft.

  9. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    I think Darby handled that situation perfectly. Enjoyed the scene and the bit of insight to the characters.

    1. It comes out in the book that Darby has some Mohawk blood, so that helps his identify with Rob’s feelings.

  10. Firstly, Effing, sorry to disillusion you, but being able to type is not all it takes to be a writer, but it’s a start! At least you can help Mr V to write his stories. Just don’t go substituting your own words!

    I’m reading your book, but not proceeding as fast as I would like, with my Dad being in hospital for a while, Christmas shopping, and am in the middle of writing my own book, but I will get there. You have such an amazing imagination. Great snippet.

    1. But, but . . . isn’t writing simply a matter of sitting down and typing as fast as you can? And can’t anyone do it? I’m disillusioned. 🙂

      ‘Tis the season for interruptions, Rachel, and I know how it goes. In a couple days the first of my scattered children arrives — all four will be here for the holidays — and after that I won’t be getting much done. Hope your dad gets better soon.

  11. Darby’s response showed great insight. I’m wondering how good this bestowed technology will do in the long run.

    1. Considering that the Kwadrans are the heroes of this series, it’ll go pretty well, I assure you.

  12. angelicadawson · · Reply

    Prejudice is so difficult to overcome. Great snippet.

    1. I’ve always had great sympathy for Native Americans/Aboriginals/First Nations People (or whatever euphemism you wish to use. This series is a testament to that.

  13. Aw, Darby is quite a diplomat! My cats also type, but it’s all gibberish. Apparently they’re just not as talented as Effing.

    1. The gibberish is understandable. After all, very few cats are as talented as Effing thinks he is.

  14. Well, Effing, I really wish my cats could type, but they are older and set in their ways. I’ll have to muddle through on my own, I guess. Unless you’d like to come type for me?

    Yes, Darby is treating Rob as an equal, no matter how Rob sees himself. I’m glad he has that quiet compassion for him.

    1. If Darby didn’t have that quiet compassion, there’d be no romance (and hence no story); Jo is also of First Nations blood, so the hero simply couldn’t be full of the prejudice that is all too common.

  15. Love that first line about how the slow words soon became an avalanche!
    Sorry about that hand…take care!

    1. The situation called for some kind of explanation like that, because most aboriginals I’ve known are exceedingly quiet, at least around whites.

  16. Nice contrast between his self esteem/respect and where he lives. Loved the book.

    1. You picked up on that contrast, eh? Excellent reading.

  17. Sorry to hear of your troubles! Heal quickly! Good snippet choice, Effing!

    1. Actually, the bruise was never that painful, just colorful. Effing made a bigger deal of it that he should have. 😉

  18. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    I love Jo, but it’s nice to meet Rob. Also, now I “get” Jo’s last name.

    1. Yes, Jo is also an ‘Indian’, sort of. Although I once taught on an island in Kwakiutl territory, I wouldn’t dare try to portray a lead character from the tribe; I don’t know the people on the inside well enough. But Jo, a Kwakiutl from a couple hundred years in the future? I’m in.

  19. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Good for Darby. I hope your hand is better.

    1. The hand is fine now — thanks for asking. I’ve never had a bruise quite so colorful as that.

  20. Feel better! Hope Effing keeps the ‘help’ to a minimum!

    I always feel a little worried about people carrying vastly superior technology to another group. There’s often a hidden cost…

    1. I know where you’re coming from, Caitlin. I may make that the focus of another book in the series.

  21. I really like Darby.

    (And I hope your hand gets better soon.)

    1. Glad you like Darby. Jo, of course, loves him.

  22. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    I always love a good bruise picture. They’re like gobstoppers the way they change colours. lol. Very much enjoyed this excerpt, Ed, and I hope you continue to share more from this story!

    1. The interesting colors are the reason the picture was included.

  23. I love how this dialogue provides a window into how he feels about himself. It’s a very interesting premise.

    1. So few books — and science fiction books in particularly — feature aboriginal characters.

  24. This is an interesting snippet 🙂 He’s indeed a king, is he not? Very powerful 🙂

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