Effing Feline gives thanks

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, am looking forward to the U.S. Thanksgiving next Thursday. I can’t wait for that first bite of mince-mouse pie! But my pet human Ed, aka Mr Valentine, insists that the holiday is a time for giving thanks for our blessings, so here goes. I’m thankful for:

  1. Being a cat.
  2. Twiggles the Dog. More specifically, for the fact that Twiggles has no tail, which is something I can always and easily tease her about.
  3. Being such a smart, cuddly, all-around great cat.
  4. Mr V, for giving me this writing gig even if he insists I talk about his writing rather than my beautiful fur.
  5. Being meeee!
  6. Cat food companies.
  7. Being such a superior cat that I’m famous on the Internet —  which I totally deserve, of course.

And now another excerpt from Newborn, Mr V’s newest science fiction romance. The narrator is a clone designed to kill her alien nation’s number one fugitive, then kill herself. When an injury (falling down a scree slope) forces her to outlive her planned lifespan, she flirts with Darby, a bodyguard, and worries whether she’s really a human being.  But at night, the urge to fulfill her bloody Destiny nearly overwhelms her.

As the window of my room darkened toward evening, the need to seek my Destiny grew inside me until I wanted to run, to lash out, to strike. Yet all these outlets were denied my battered body. I needed to do something, though, anything, to assuage the guilt about postponing my Destiny. I rose and paced the room so fast my legs protested.

When I’d felt this compulsion before, I charged down the scree slope. With that warning fresh in my mind—and my bones—I tried to relax despite the impatience harassing me with the rude abrasiveness of a raven, squawking lesser birds away from a delicious rotting salmon. As though in a memory, I could picture that noisy bird of darkness. And not just the raven: a riverbank, fish guts, quarrelsome birds. And overriding everything, like a pink blanket covering an irritable baby, the stench of salmon swimming upstream even as their flesh rotted, compelled by nature to seek their death.

Just as I was compelled by my raucous Destiny.

Effing Feline here again.  In anticipation of the holiday, let me ask:  What about me are you thankful for?

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

Effing Feline divider


Newborn is a winner in the 2016 Pages From The Heart Contest of the From the Heart Romance Writers.


She was born to kill

Jo Beaverpaw is born fully dressed, well-armed, and impatient to tackle her Destiny. Namely, killing her alien nation’s most wanted fugitive. Her programmers want her to live a few hours, kill, then die.

newborn-final-2But something goes wrong.

Darby Lapierre has the thankless task of protecting Jo’s target while the woman heals from gunshot wounds. It’s a hard job, but not impossible for a skillful bodyguard like Darby.

Until, that is, Jo shows up at the private hospital after an accident. Beautiful, naive, young Jo knows nothing about life and love, and wants Darby to teach her. Just until she’s well enough to attack her Destiny, of course.

And then Darby will be in her way . . . .

Find Newborn at:



  1. Wow–the descriptive writing! Drew a visceral response from me, Ed. Nicely done!

    1. At this point in the story, with Jo becoming more interested in being like others and in flirting with Darby, I wanted to remind readers that once her injuries allow, her implanted Destiny is likely to take over.

  2. Loved the imagery in this piece, Ed.
    Congratulations on the accolade!

    1. I’ve used memories of salmon runs in a few books now, because they struck such a powerful chord inside me — the salmon’s valiant, selfless determination surrounded by a host of hungry opportunists.

      1. You use those memories very effectively Ed. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I’ve held spawning salmon in my hands….so this speaks to me in a language I know well. I feel for Jo that she’s being so harried in three directions at once. I’ll be adding this one to my nearly-endless to-read list soon (finances have been a bit crunched here, until recently, and we’re playing catchup)

    Once, long ago, a male admirer thanked me for existing. Effing Feline, I’m thankful you exist.

    1. Wow, Effing, Shan just gave you a compliment big enough to soothe even your massive ego!

      1. Shan has lived with cats her entire life, and knows that no lesser compliment will do! =D

  4. I just finished this book this week. Awesome. Loved the twists. You kept me jumping. I will say that last week, I was only mid-way thru and hadn’t yet realized Jo was a clone, and then you mentioned it in your intro.Spoiler! Loved your characters.

    1. Thanks for the warning about being a spoiler, Cara.

  5. Amazing, descriptive writing. You well deserve the award. And Effing, you should be thankful that your master arrived home from his travels almost in one piece!

    1. Thanks, Rachel. I’m not sure Effing cares whether I’m in one piece, as long as my lap is whole and warm.

  6. Congratulations!
    You, or possibly Effing, are in fine form with mince-mouse pie and rotten salmon!

    1. I assure you that my Thanksgiving dinner will be better than mice and rotten fish.

  7. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Very powerful excerpt, Ed! Love the description throughout, and it kept me on the edge of my seat. Congrats on the award!

    As for Effing, I’m thankful for your perrrrfect grammar, which is unusual for a cat. I also appreciate your appreciation of yourself. Self-love is the most important, after all. 😉

  8. Daryl Devore · · Reply

    That whole bit about the rotting salmon has probably put me off eating for a while.

    And yes, Effing Feline deserves to be noted as a superior cat.

    I’m thankful that I’m Canadian and we’re don’t have our Thanksgiving so close to Christmas.

    1. I’m thankful that I got two Thanksgivings this year, as the wife and I were in Toronto visiting son #2 on the Canadian version.

    2. Oops! Make that son #3. #2 is in Vancouver.

  9. Ed, you are a wonder. Newborn appears to be the best of the best. I’m saving my sheckels. Have a joyous Thanksgiving, my friend.

    1. And a great Thanksgiving to you, as well, Charmaine, even if it isn’t quite so large a celebration as in your youth.

  10. Very descriptive! Also, I hope you enjoy the mince-mouse pie! 😉

    1. I used to live not all that far from the Adams River salmon run, one of the biggest, so the aroma and raw …. I don’t know … the raw LIFE of a run is indelibly etched in my mind.

  11. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Congrats on winning the contest! I’m thankful for the opportunity to read awesome snippets every week. That was a very intense excerpt. I could feel her struggling to fight that instinct.

    1. I agree about reading great snippets every week — and also connecting with fellow writers.

  12. Darn that Destiny, always interrupting a decent night’s sleep. I’m wondering how long she can hold out! Congrats on the contest win. 🙂

  13. Love the imagery, Ed. Up here in the PNW I have seen (and smelled) the spawning salmon. Spot on.

    As to Effing… I am grateful you keep Mr. V on his toes.

    1. Once you’ve seen and smelled a salmon run, the image sticks with you. Although I’m in Arizona, I moved here from the BC Interior, so salmon runs were a big deal.

  14. Andrea R Huelsenbeck · · Reply

    “the impatience harassing me with the rude abrasiveness of a raven, squawking lesser birds away from a delicious rotting salmon.” Gorgeous writing.
    Hubby asked for the other kind of minced pie. He’s getting pecan instead.

    1. Pecan is good. Save a piece for me?

  15. Diane Burton · · Reply

    Congrats on your win. Well-deserved. Love this book–great twists; the relationship between Jo and Darby. This snippet shows her agony with not being able to fulfill her Destiny. As far as Effing is concerned, I’m thankful tattles on Ed (like when he was sick). Hope you’re feeling better, Ed. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

    1. Thanks so very much, Diane!

  16. Wonderful visuals, great snippet

    1. Salmon runs are extremely sensory, even visceral. I haven’t begun to do them justice.

  17. Congrats!

    It would have to be a very well-enforced imperative to get someone to kill themselves, but I’m betting the people behind creating her have that under control!

    1. Actually, the more Jo interacts with people and realizes her humanity, the more their control is slipping. They have some tricks up their sleeves to get her to do their bidding, though.

  18. That was a great analogy! Congrats on the award!

    1. Thanks, Christina.

  19. Nicely descriptive and as Christina said, a great analogy.

    1. And as I said to Christina, thanks!

  20. She surely has uneasy nights and thoughts! I enjoyed the way she was trying to talk herself out of being impulsive and charging onward with her Destiny. Great snippet!

    1. Of course she has uneasy thoughts. We can’t have a placid heroine, can we?

  21. Wonderful imagery! Love this snippet! Congrats on the win, too. Dear Effin, I am thankful that you are so entertaining!

    1. I’m glad you think so, Elizabeth. When I originally wrote it, I feared it might be too heavy.

  22. This is such a creative story, Ed. I’m eager to read more about her and how she reacts to different stimuli. The salmon imagery is both glorious and disturbing. Well done!

    I forgot to join WWW this week, Ed. But I have my post up! https://jennajaxon.wordpress.com/2016/11/20/weekend-writing-warriors-112016-seduction-at-the-christmas-court-an-unwanted-suitor/ if you want to visit!

    1. I enjoy being different. I guess that translates into being creative.

  23. And PS, congratulations on your win! I’m thankful you have such a talented master, Effing!

    1. Effing scratched me about this. He prefers compliments directed to him.

  24. Whoa… Vivid and intense scene! I love the comparisons she’s making, such a dark line of thought, but also so…raw and full of emotion. Amazing scene.

    1. Jo is, after all, a killer clone, so she necessarily has to have some dark thoughts, along with her more normal thoughts.

  25. Love the correlation between her compulsion and the salmon’s.

    1. Hopefully it deepens the reader’s understanding of just how intense her implanted Destiny feels.– tor the salmon, after all, it’s a matter of survival of the species.

  26. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Wow, loved the imagery here even though it is a bit disturbing, which is the point. Well done.

    1. Yes, her implanted compulsion is pretty disturbing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: