Effing Feline dislikes travel

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click for more info.

I, Effing Feline, am dizzy with travel. After spending a week in Toronto we flew to London and from London to Amsterdam. As I write this, we’re in Bruges, Belgium, Mr V’s ancestral homeland and the best-preserved medieval city in Europe.

WTF?  We spent hours inside rattling tin cans for this? From a cat’s POV, rooms here are just like in Arizona: four walls, floor, ceiling. Sure, this B&B is in a building from the 1300’s, but so what?


A canal in Bruges. All that water — yuck!

Travel has nothing to offer a cat. Nothing at all.

Another excerpt today from Newborn, Mr V’s upcoming science fiction romance. Our heroine has been programmed to kill her alien nation’s number one fugitive and then commit suicide. But when an injury keeps her from fulfilling her Destiny immediately, she discovers another deep-seated need — to discover whether she is, indeed, human.

“Will you teach me about the world?” I repeated. Darby’s hand rested on the bedside table; I covered it with my own and said, “Please?”

He stared at our joined hands and then pulled his away. “No funny business, eh?”

“I don’t know any jokes.”

He laughed as though I’d just made one. “I’m sure as strawberry poutine not the best person for the job, but…okay, I’ll try to teach you the ways of my world, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my other duties.”

His duties. Guilt slithered over me. My duty was to kill Squitt; his was to keep me from killing Squitt.

Effing Feline heads back to Amsterdam on Sunday and then Paris on Tuesday. Appelez-moi un chat du monde !

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

Effing Feline divider


She was born to kill

newborn-final-2Jo Beaverpaw is born fully grown, well-armed, and impatient to tackle her Destiny … which is to kill her alien nation’s most wanted fugitive. Her life is pre-programmed and straightforward – until she meets the sexy bodyguard of her intended target.

Newborn is the third exciting book in Edward Hoornaert’s near-future romance series, Alien Contact for Idiots. If you agree that The Terminator should’ve starred a bad-assed (yet petite) female, don’t miss Newborn.

< < === > >

Newborn will be released November 4, and for a limited time, it’s available for pre-order at the special introductory price of just 99c.  This low price won’t last long, so pre-order Newborn now.



  1. chellecordero · · Reply

    If she is feeling guilty then she seems to be “growing up” quickly. She still has that endearing innocence (for now) interpreting his statement so literally. I adore the way you build your characters.

    1. Well, she has to grow up quickly — at 60k, it’s a fairly short book.

  2. Hmm, Mr V. I suspect that things are about to get interesting.
    Guilt is an interesting complication for an assassin.

    1. Note, though, that the guilt is attached to Darby, not the killing.

  3. So much to love about Newborn . To add to this post, I quiver with delight to learn of your travels. Reminds me of days gone by when my love and I did the same. Best to you, Effing and your whole family.

    1. My travels? They started great, seeing Amsterdam for the first time, glimpsing my son’s new life, and then visiting Bruges, which has been on my bucket list. We had to cancel the Paris portion, though, because I came down with a virus crap.

      Judi has been an absolute saint, caring for me wonderfully and without complaint even though she was so looking forward to seeing Paris. In our romance novels (which focus on falling in love), how can we ever capture such depth of love as hers? I fear it’s beyond my abilities. She probably the reason I can write romances at all, even inadequate ones.

  4. Found your link on Charmaine’s page – good thinking! Bruges looks wonderful. Another place on the to-be-visited list.
    Guilt? Shouldn’t that have been programmed out of her? Somebody slipped up there. But it makes her reactions to Darby interesting. Another book to add to my (long) reading list.
    Enjoy the rest of your travels.

    1. Yep, guilt probably should have been programmed out of her. At her core, though, she’s a lot like the woman she’s a clone of, and though that woman wants revenge ‘by her own hand’, she’s not a killer.

      I finished A Princess of Mars on my kindle and now am reading The Artist. They’ve arrived in Florence. FWIS, I learned that Bruges gets more tourists that Florence.

  5. Can’t wait for this story to magically appear in my Kindle.

    BEAUTIFUL photo. I appreciate it, even if Effing doesn’t.

    1. Almost anywhere you look, you get an interesting picture in Bruges.

  6. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Strawberry poutine? LOL. Ya know, that doesn’t sound so bad, actually. Loved the snippet, and I always enjoy the tales of your adventures, Effing. Er, tails? 😉

    1. I have no idea if there really is such a thing as strawberry poutine, but they seem to throw everything else in poutine, so why not strawberries?

  7. This story has already taken an interesting turn!

    How are you going to punish effing for forgetting to sign up your snippet? I know. Make him travel–since he’s so impressed with it. 😉

    1. In that case, Teresa, he’s already been suitable punished.

  8. Somehow I think her guilt may evolve into something else. When it comes down to it, will she really be able to kill Squitt? Great snippet!

    And don’t punish Effing. Cats are like that. 🙂

    1. You’ve zoomed right in on the crux of the novel.

  9. Great snippet that actually seems to capture the whole story and what the characters are like. Nice work!

    1. I hadn’t realized it, but this moment does sort of capture the essence of the conflict.

  10. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Wow, Effing, you really are a world traveler. 🙂

    The heroine reminds me a bit of Data from Star Trek: TNG, but she’s also an assassin. I love it! Safe travels!

    1. Data . . . I like that comparison. Her challenge is to become fully human.

  11. Poor Effing! Does he travel in a carrier?

    I’ll bet Newborn doesn’t know about strawberry poutine, but she’s good at making Darby laugh.

    1. His carrier is my computer. He’s making the trip as virtual cat.

  12. Diane Burton · · Reply

    What a dilemma. Strawberry poutine made me laugh. Great snippet. Enjoy your trip.

    1. My strongest stories, I’ve come to realize, are the ones that create the toughest dilemmas for my poor characters.

  13. I hope Effing enjoyed London and am fascinated to learn who will be first to kill Squitt, if anyone

    1. The showdown with Squitt comes near the end, so I’m not going to give anything away. 😉

  14. Strawberry poutine :-). I really like the way you’re building her complexity – I’m sure she’s got a lot to learn about herself.

    1. Right on. She has EVERYTHING to learn about herself and how to become fully human.

  15. Daryl Devore · · Reply

    love – no funny business – I don’t know any jokes- that kind of humour puts me in stitches.

    I think you can forgive Effing for forgetting to put the link up – he’s probably a little jet lagged. I’ve been to Bruges – beautiful city in a beautiful country. Tweeted.

    1. Taking the train from Amsterdam to Bruges, even Judi remarked how much prettier Belgium was — and she has no Belgian blood, so she’s unprejudiced.

  16. Liked this snippet a lot especially the no funny business–I don’t know any jokes line.
    Wow–that’s a lot of travel. Maybe some of the food in these countries would make Effin like travel more?

    1. Effing is mollified by meeting cousin Pamela, the cat of my son’s partner. (I got a tsk-tsk from my son after calling Viv his wife; she has a PhD in women’s studies and they are proudly NOT married, even though they’ve been together 11-12 years.)

  17. Interesting snippet. I’m guessing Darby knows what she is/why she doesn’t know about the world? But does he know why she’s there?

    1. He knows nothing about her, though he has strong suspicions why she’s there.

  18. Love that last line! I love the description of guilt slithering, too, that is an amazing word choice. So she knows he’s meant to protect Squitt, but does HE know she’s supposed to kill them? This could get tricky. I’m going to enjoy this ride.

    1. He assumes she’s an assassin, yes, but her innocence and beauty draws him in regardless.

  19. I LOVE the complications and twists and turns going on in this story and I thoroughly enjoy your character’s ‘voice’. Excellent excerpt, ready to read more! I hope the trip is going well and you’re having tons of fun…

    1. Tons of fun … groan. I came down with a virus in Amsterdam. Yuck!

  20. Wonderful snippet!I’m looking forward to reading more. Bruges is on my list of places I want to go! I loved the picture. Bon voyage! I was in Paris at the end of September. Lovely city 🙂

    1. Bruges was on my bucket list for a long time. My dad wasn’t from there (nearby, though), and I have many relatives there; it seems to be the epicenter of the Hoornaert name.

  21. With a name like Squitt, and being the number one enemy of her people, maybe her mark does need killin’. Too bad Darby is in the way but maybe they can work that out.

    1. Whether Sqitt deserves to die is one of many issues she has to resolve.

  22. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    An assassin with guilt issues. Wonderful.

    1. Gotta sharpen that ol’ inner conflict, you know.

  23. I love that last line! it really sets the stage for the conflict to come.

    1. This is a pretty clear statement of the inner conflict.

  24. If she’s capable of guilt, she wasn’t made quite like how I’d expect an assassin to be made! This is, I can tell, going to be trouble.

    1. As an assassin, she’s quite flawed, but there are reasons for that.

  25. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    I’ve enjoyed reading how she’s working things out in her head. She knows she needs to kill, but… It just might not be that easy for her to do it.

    1. Especially not with a concussion and broken limbs. The injuries force her to live awhile before killing, which gives time for her uncertainties to grow — which of course increases her conflict, because killing Squitt is a powerful implanted compulsion.

  26. That’s definitely a conflict of duties! It doesn’t seem like things are going to go so well between them.

    1. I found it hard to craft Darby into a character who responds both sympathetically and yet heroically to her. I hope I succeeded.

  27. Bruges is one of my favorite places in Belgium, Ed. I hope you enjoyed the Venice of the North… and had plenty of choccie and marzipan.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: