I, Effing Feline, am considering starting a manuscript evaluation service. I think I’d be good at it, because my claws are so very, very sharp. I’ll rate stories by dead mice: 3 dead mice is good, 1 or 2 dead mice means I couldn’t get my claws into it. In theory, it’s a 5-mouse scale, but because I’m cat, not manuscript will ever get more than 3. Dead mice not included.
This is the last snippet from The Midas Rush. Naive shepherd Tresky Buffrum has married a beauty named Ebbril who is trying to get him drunk. What follows is the end of their glorious wedding night.
It picks up directly after last week’s snippet ended with “I suppose to a Pilk, whose people’ve raised sexual pleasure to its highest, mosht intense, mosht wildest levels—”
“To a Pilk, I shuppose being a virgin at twenty-two is a disgrace. But here—up in Gasparre, I mean—it’s bein’ a Pilk what’s scandalous.” Tresky winked at her with both eyes. “But I won’t hold your ‘sperience against you. Just be gentle wi’ me.”
He reached for her, but bumped the bottle of wine instead. It toppled over. As a puddle formed under his nose, he giggled, imagining the wine spilling onto Ebbril’s dress and her removing it very Pilkily.
Then the room went dark, though he never heard the click of the light switch.
Effing Feline back again. If you want me to
shred evaluate your story, please send hardcopies only!
All Tresky Buffrum wants is a taste of adventure and freedom before resigning himself to the simple life of a shepherd. What he gets instead is a mysterious wife (determined to remain chaste) who leads him to the Midas Crater, where some of the planet’s intelligent natives have been inexplicably transformed into gold. Can Tresky defeat the interplanetary conspirators who seek to destroy the Midas Crater before its mysteries can liberate humankind?
The Midas Rush is a available at: