Effing Feline arranges flowers

Photos: DepositPhotos

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, am mollified. Last week I was hissing mad at my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, because he didn’t take me to his nephew’s wedding even though I got new clothes for the affair. But Mr V brought me a corsage from the wedding and let me bat it around until all the petals were spread over the floor. Fun!

Today I offer you another snippet from The Midas Rush. Naive shepherd Tresky Buffrum has married a beauty named Ebbril who is trying to get him drunk. He asks her what tribe she’s from; she evasively asks him what he thinks.  When he says she looks like a Pilk, she answers that yes, she’s a Pilk. (Edited from the published version to fit the 10-sentence limit.)

“Glory to the Diggers, on my first day in the city I meet a Pilk and on the second day I marry her — whooha!

“What,” Ebbril demanded, “have you heard about Pilks?”

“Only what ever’one knows.”

“Which is?”

“Well, Pilks are sorta like us Gasparres, ‘cept opposite. Gasparres are dreamy romantics given to sloppy poetry and staying virgins until they marry, and then staying fateful … uh, faithful forever.”

Staring as though truly seeing him for the first time, she whispered, “You’re a virgin?”

He made himself speak slowly, so the words would behave themselves like a flock under the watchful gaze of a sheep-lizard. “I suppose that’s shocking to a Pilk, whose people’ve raised sexual pleasure to its highest, mosht intense, mosht wildest levels—”

“What!”

Effing Feline back again. Why would Ebbril be so surprised? Oh, who cares. I have more important things to think about. I need to bat flower petals into other rooms, to spread their beauty across every floor in the house.

While I’m doing that, go visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

Interested in reading Midas Rush and writing an honest review on Amazon, Goodreads, or your website? Just send Mr V your e-mail and he’ll arrange to get you a copy.

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The Midas Rush

Midas Rush new 7c thumbnailAll Tresky Buffrum wants is a taste of adventure and freedom before resigning himself to the simple life of a shepherd.  What he gets instead is a mysterious wife (determined to remain chaste) who leads him to the Midas Crater, where some of the planet’s intelligent natives have been inexplicably transformed into gold. Can Tresky defeat the interplanetary conspirators who seek to destroy the Midas Crater before its mysteries can liberate humankind?

The Midas Rush is a available at:

Effing Feline divider

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Find my sf novel The Triumph of Tompa Lee, marked down from $4.99 to just $.99 in Patty’s latest cross-promotion

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58 comments

  1. Such beautiful writing! I always enjoy reading these snippets.

    1. Why thank you for the nice compliment, Nancy.

  2. haha. I love Tresky’s drunk-shpeak. I have a feeling there’s a major misunderstanding going on here.

    1. Yesh, i hat fun wit’ his dickshun in dis seen.

  3. Tresky’s enthusiasm is contagious *g* But I feel like things aren’t going to go well for him… Great snippet!

    1. He’s (one of) the heroes of a novel. Of COURSE things won’t go well.

  4. Oh dear, a drunken virgin. What on earth is she going to do? I think he may be heading in the direction of that adventure.

    1. We learn much later that without his revelation, his adventure wouldn’t have been possible.

  5. LOL! Thanks for starting my morning off with a smile, Ed!

    1. This book has a fair bit of humor.

  6. Hilarious, Ed. You write to amuse yourself and are successful doing just that. Have fun today, my friend.

    1. A few years ago, I decided that I was going to write what I wanted, and to heck with outside influences. So it’s fun. The downside, of course, is that it can be harder to find a following..

  7. You’ve nailed the dialogue perfectly – though I can’t quite decide whether this is a match made in heaven or hell! Looking forward to finding out more.

    1. Or maybe a little of both?

  8. Uh oh, this Ebbril seems pretty fishy to me and poor Tresky is awfully naive on so many fronts. But well written!

    1. You’ve pegged them both pretty well.

  9. Mosht amusing! She doesn’t sound like a Pilk.

    1. Not only that, she doesn’t even seem to know what a Pilk is.

  10. Ehehe, great writing makes for a great snippet. I do wonder why she’s surprised? Didn’t she just say that she was a Pilk because he thought that she resembled one?

    1. Good guess, Rin-Rin.

  11. Fun dialogue today!

    1. Yeah, I have to admit that I love this scene.

  12. Maybe wishful thinking on his part and misdirection on hers? This couple is going to need to see a counselor before long. Great fun as always, Ed.

    1. You’ve got it pegged, Alexis … except for the fact that there are no marriage counselors on this planet, which is poor and backward.

  13. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Sounds like what he heard may not be quite accurate. Great snippet! 🙂

    1. Something like that, yes.

  14. Surprise! Playing the virgin game on the wedding night…always fun. heh. Great snippet! And Effing, you got the best part of the wedding…the traditional batting around of the corsage. And you didn’t have to sit through a half hour of drunken toasts to get it.

    1. I would think it’d usually be the woman who’s playing the virgin game. As for Effing, you’ll notice that he’s batting around the wedding flowers, not trying to catch them.

  15. Fun snippet. I love her surprise (and bet she wishes she’d had a different answer!)

    1. Yeah, she sure does wish that.

  16. I love the way Ebbril lets Tresky believe what he wants to believe.

    It reminds of this quote I saw this morning: “It all depends on how we look at things. Not how things are in the themselves.” Carl Jung.

    1. And it’s safe to say that they’re both looking at this situation from very different perspectives.

  17. So much fun. Your writing always leave me wanting more.

    1. Well, you know, there is more. Ten or eleven of my books are still in print (hint hint). 😉

  18. Whoops! That’s what you get for saying ‘sure, I’m a that thing,’ without knowing what that thing *is.* Now she has some explaining to do, or a lot of awkward lying.

    1. Yep, she’s reaping what she sowed.

  19. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    LOL! I love, love, love the dialogue, Ed! So clever, so amusing, I might even read it again! 😀

    1. Thanks so much, Julie.

  20. I wonder why he’s surprised too. The dialogue is great.

  21. Amazing dialogue! I love “drunk” typing. And I would love to see a photo of your beautiful decorating, Effing! 😀

    1. I must admit, I have a soft spot for unusual speech and thoughts, like drunkenness or madness.

  22. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Loved the banter. Made me chuckle.

    1. That makes it nearly unanimous.

  23. what a combination of characters … great dialogue, enjoyed the snippet.

    1. Tresky is the epitome of the ignorant rube — but as the story develops he displays as-yet-undeveloped strengths that, I hope, make his emergence as the story’s hero believable. Ebbril is the epitome of the conniving hussy out to roll a drunk — but her unique motivations for doing so, first hinted at by her reaction to his being a virgin, require the length of the book to reveal.

  24. Enjoyed the snippet. Sounds like a great book.

    Glad at least Feline got to bat the corsage around 🙂

    1. The Midas Rush was one of my first efforts at writing science fiction after starting out as a romance writer. As such, its sales have always been rather abysmal, but looking at it with fresh eyes from a decade’s remove, it is a pretty darned good adventure, though more intricate and involved than what I write now.

  25. Looks like they both have a shock coming. LOL Quite an interesting world here, Ed. But who is the girl? Not a Pilk, obviously. Is she an Earthling, perhaps?

    1. It takes almost the whole book to find out who she is. It’s one of two main mysteries in the story.

  26. Oh what fun! Love your snippets, Ed.

    1. It warms my authorial cockles to hear that word ‘fun’.

      Hmm. What exactly are ‘cockles’, and do I have them?

      1. I Googled it. “A cockle is a small, edible, saltwater clam, a marine bivalve mollusc.” So no, living in the desert as I do, I don’t have cockles.

        “Cockles and mussels alive, alive ho.” So goes the old English folk tune. I do have muscles, however flabby, but no mussels.

  27. chellecordero · · Reply

    Enjoyed the shnippet very much… loved the drunk talk. Wonder why she is being so evasive about who/what she is?

    1. I can answer your question. It’s because she has an enormous amount to hide.

  28. I think Tresky may want to run right about now. She’s still so mysterious, she never gives a straight answer to anything. I’m intrigued by her, and he is just hilarious. Nicely done.

    1. You’re reacting exactly how I would wish. Thanks, Daelyn!

  29. Hmmm, sounds like this Ebbril is no run of the mill Ebbril, or maybe not even an Ebbril at all. lol. Trouble ahead…

    1. Yes, she’s major, massive trouble. You spend much of the book figuring out just how much trouble.

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