Effing Feline loves his work

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, write this weekly column for my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.  Do you know why I, a mere cat with minimal education and even less ambition, love working for a writer?

Courtesy Deposit Photos

Because I love his yarns.

Today’s snippet is the last from Thimbleriggers, a story in Future Love, Mr V’s newest release. Twenty-something pornographer Aldous has used an experimental device to buy, for resale, 90-year-old Kathy’s erotic memories.  After the recording session, Kathy confronts him with the realization that he has fallen in love with her — and then with the bill for her husband’s medical procedure, which she wants him to work hard to pay.

Outside her apartment, Aldous rested his forehead against her door, overcome by a stench rising from his soul. Easier, far easier, to walk away and never return. Much easier than taking his medication, and working, and convincing Dad he’d reformed in order to pay a stranger’s medical bills. He wasn’t meant for the straight and narrow; he always wobbled.

But if he walked away—

Earlier that day, he’d been unable to imagine himself old. Now, it was easy. A vision of old age appeared, as vivid as one of Ebenezer Scrooge’s midnight visions.

Toothless, crippled by age, peeing his pants, alone in a cheap little apartment. Endlessly replaying the canned memories of the first and — unless he somehow managed to reform — the only woman he had ever loved.

Effing Feline here again. I feel sorry for Aldous. Maybe I’ll let him bat around one of my balls of yarn.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.


Effing Feline divider

Mr V got a heartwarming Amazon review recently for The Midas Rush, the ‘oldest’ of his novels that’s still in print.

Midas review

All Tresky Buffrum wants is a taste of adventure and freedom before resigning himself to the simple life of a shepherd.  What he gets instead is a mysterious wife (determined to remain chaste!) who leads him to the Midas Crater, where some of the planet’s intelligent natives have been inexplicably transformed into gold. Can Tresky defeat the interplanetary conspirators—including his beloved wife—who seek to destroy the Midas Crater before its mysteries liberate humans from solitary confinement in their own minds?

Midas Rush new 7c thumbnailThe Midas Rush is a available at:



  1. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Decisions, decisions… I wonder what he’ll do next. Great excerpt, and congrats on the new review!

    1. I’ll leave his next steps to your imagination, because this is all he learns from the story — that maybe he needs to change.

  2. chellecordero · · Reply

    Well she really worked him over…

    Enjoy the yarn Effing.

    1. ‘Yarn’ is such an appropriate name, don’t you think, for the tangled skeins we set for our unsuspecting heroes and heroines?

  3. He’s got a difficult decision to make, though I love how Kathy has turned the tables on him.

    1. I like to hope he makes the healthy decision. All this story has given him is the recognition that maybe he needs to change, which is but the first step in a lifelong effort.

  4. Hmmm. The bad-guy version of the dark night of the soul? Lovely tension and cognitive dissonance, Ed.

    And a well deserved congratulations for an excellent review.

    1. I felt kind of funny highlighting a review, to be honest. I’m running dry on inspiration right now, though, and the review pleased me, so … what the heck.

      1. Self-promotion is hard at the best of times, but especially for writers. It is awesome when someone else speaks up for you. You should always celebrate that.

  5. At last a path opens before him that might let him end up a happy man. I really have enjoyed this story. Congrats on the great review!

    1. This is one of my favorite short stories, though the sex angle in the flashbacks proved to be horribly hard to write. It felt kind of creepy, seeing everything through a pervert’s eyes … though what are we as writers, if not perverted voyeurs of life?

  6. Delightful as he is in deep trouble. Funny and delightful. I’ll save a ball of yarn for him and also for you know who.
    Congratulations on a great review. Music to your heart.

    1. ‘Music to my heart’ — yep. Sometimes we need that touch of music. As an oboist speaking to a singer, we know that, eh?

  7. I agree with Kim! I love how you’ve set this up so we’re not quite sure which path he’ll take.

    Loves his yarns — LOL!


    1. I hope you appreciate how well I’ve controlled, until now, my sometimes-overpowering urge to pun.

  8. Last week I really didn’t like Aldous. But this week I feel rather sorry for him. I think there is scope for redemption there – at least I hope so. Great snippet and great review. Well deserved, I’m sure.

    1. Yeah, he isn’t exactly a likable guy, but like so many criminals, he is pitiful.

  9. Ah, great twist to his scheme. I have to admit last week I thought Kathy was offering him a cure for his addiction to her. Sounds like there is no cure though, only acceptance or running away.

    1. Hey, it’s only a short story. You can’t expect cures!

  10. Guy has his problems, clearly depicted.

    1. Nasty, yet ultimately a pitiful human being.

  11. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Oh, the decisions… I’m intrigued to know what he’ll do.
    Congrats on the great review.

    1. I kind of think of him as Scrooge in this scene, but without the rather phony ease of making such a life-changing decision.

  12. He’s really hooked!

    1. Hook, line and sinker.

  13. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. Don’t all cats like yarn? Er, yarns?

    1. Not just cats. We had a dog who liked to chase yarn and get himself all tangled up.

  14. I really enjoyed that story–the whole book actually. All the stories were so creative.

    1. Coming from a successful author like you, Cara, that means a lot.

  15. Decisions…decisions! Most people don’t change though. Good snippet.

    1. Isn’t that the truth? In response to a previous comment, I mentioned Scrooge. Although I love the story, his change came too easily, IMHO. Hence Aldous is given the chance to decide whether to change, rather than having the decision thrust upon him.

  16. Oh man! Quite a decision lies ahead. Congrats on the nice review. And Effing, I like a nice angora yarn myself…

    1. Effing wants me to ask you whether angora yarn tastes better than regular yarn.

  17. Lots of emotion in this scene, and a great mix of hope and hopelessness.

    1. A mix of hope and hopelessness … I love it when someone understands what I was aiming for.

  18. Wow, he has a glimpse of his own dotage! That’s a nice insight for him. Good snippet! Congrats no the great review. And nice of you to share, Effing Cat!

    1. If this insight is all he ever gets from his first love, it’s more than many people get.

  19. julieevelynjoyce · · Reply

    Oh man, the feels. Poor Aldous. Loved this line: He wasn’t meant for the straight and narrow; he always wobbled. So great!

    1. Inspired by the thought of a drunk, pulled over by the RCMP (or OPP, if you prefer) and trying to walk a straight line.

  20. He gets more pitiful as the snippets go on. If he takes this chance to change, though, perhaps he can make something of himself.

    1. He has no one to blame but himself if he doesn’t.

  21. I wonder what he will do next. Great Snippet.

    1. Thanks, Cecilia!

  22. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    He has a few problems. It’ll be interesting to what he does next. I like the line about wobbling.

    1. I’d forgotten all about that line until I started to put this anthology together. It is kind of nice.

  23. My heart goes out to him. Aldous is not in an easy place. I wonder what he’ll decide. Great snippet!

    1. It’s pretty cool that your heart can go out to a creep like Aldous.

  24. Oh, wow. What a great character! Gotta see what happens.

  25. Love that first paragraph. He is certainly in a pickle now. I wonder what he’ll do, so torn between leaving and staying. I think he’s going to be a sucker and stay though. She’s is one clever woman with how she roped him in.

    1. Yes, she’s definitely the smarter of the two of them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: