I, Effing Feline, write this weekly column on behalf of my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine. I’ve actually behaved myself this week — boring, I know — and I have no witty anecdote to share. Even Shakespeare had off days. Witness The Two Gentlemen of Verona.
Today’s snippet will be one of the last from Thimbleriggers, a story in Future Love, Mr V’s new release. Twenty-something pornographer Aldous has used an experimental device to buy, for resale, 90-year-old Kathy’s erotic memories while he ‘watches’ and is deeply affected. After the recording session, Kathy confronts him with the realization that he has fallen in love with her.
“I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. I thought it might take a couple of sessions.” Kathy reached into a drawer of the coffee table and pulled out a pink estimate of services from University Research Hospital. “This is the cost of David’s procedure. If you want more of my experiences, you’ll have to multiply your stated rates by a factor of two-point-three-eight. On the second sheet, I calculated the fees for the next twelve sessions. We have a year—eleven months and ten days, now—to raise the money.”
His fingertips brushed hers as he took the papers. She allowed the contact.