Effing Feline solves a litter box problem

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Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, post this weekly column on behalf of my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine. You may think that cat bloggers are unusual, and you’re right. I’m an unusual cat.

Today’s snippet is from the short story, Thimbleriggers, contained in Future Love, Mr V’s brand new release. It picks up shortly after last week’s snippet … which you may not have read, because I forgot to post the link. As punishment, Mr V cruelly forced me to clean my own litter box. And it stinks!

Aldous, a petty crook using new technology to buy 90-year-old Kathy Hall’s memories as pornography, discovered she’s still married to her high school sweetheart. In this snippet, Kathy’s youthful relationship with David Hall is progressing rapidly.  Edited slightly from the published version.

Aldous leaned forward and studied the woman’s face. How could such a gorgeous girl grow up to be so . . . old? Out of nowhere, he wondered what he’d look like in seventy years.

He trudged back to the chair and put the helmet back on, just in time to find Kathy standing in an alcove in the hallway outside her parent’s apartment, kissing David. Being at the end of the hall, the alcove was marginally more private than the living room where she and David often necked after dates.

As they kissed, his hands roamed over her sweater; then under. Lately, he’d sought the clasp of her bra — and for the first time, she didn’t stop him. But if Dad caught them . . .

With a quiver of shock, Aldous realized he didn’t want David doing this, even if the memory made him rich.  The boy’s touch on Kathy’s virgin breasts excited Aldous — and yet the him that was watching became more furious than aroused.

Effing Feline here again. For fear of having to clean out my litter box again, I’ve taken to using the far corner in Mr V’s closet. Good solution, eh?

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sundays posts.

Effing Feline divider

Are any of you going the RWA National Conference in San Diego next week? If so, maybe I’ll see you there.

Future Love has been released!

Now available at the special introductory price of just 99c

Future love bA spaceman wins the woman of his dreams . . . but it’s too late. A crook invents a new form of pornography . . . but it teaches him about love, not sex. A man pursues his beloved beyond death . . . but finds only the evil in his own heart.

The SF short stories in Edward Hoornaert’s Future Love probe how the future will make today’s romance seem simple and tame by comparison.  Think that’s not possible?  You have much to learn.

If you crave stories that deal honestly with love’s potential for redemption, you’ll adore Future Love.  Seize tomorrow today – read Future Love.





  1. Hmmm. I bet he was not expecting that. Love this new dynamic, Ed. Could he be falling for a stolen memory of a girl?

    1. Well, as soon as you get into virtual reality of any sort, there’s always the question “What’s real?”

      1. Absolutely, Ed.

  2. Interesting reaction. I’m liking this more and more as it goes.

    1. I can see how it might take awhile to learn to love Aldous. 😉

  3. This is such an interesting story, with so many different angles to explore. I also like that he’s starting to fall for Kathy.

    1. Yep, there are many different layers in this story, and hopefully I managed to juggle them successfully.

  4. I’m falling for Kathy! What an interesting story. Ed, you are a wonder.

    1. One of the things I enjoyed about writing this story is that the 90-year-old represents innocence and the young man the opposite.

  5. daezarkian · · Reply

    Very original concept, and an interesting development. Effing, tell Ed he done good!

    1. Thanks so much!

  6. It sounds as though Aldous is developing a conscience – or perhaps he is falling for the young woman that was. I have the book and looking forward to reading it – when I have worked my way down the pile that is waiting for me.

    And Offing, your sins will come to light eventually. Better confess now or you will be cleaning the litter tray for evermore!

    1. Yes, his offal sins indeed come to light…

  7. I finished reading this book last week — I still have to write a review. The book is SO GOOD! Each story has a unique voice. You are a master at the short story.

    1. No one has EVER called me a master of the short story. My sales record in the genre is, in fact, pitiful. But the respect of my peers really means a lot, so thanks very, very much!

  8. Yeah, it’s so hard to see the young person inside the old, isn’t it? One of life’s mysteries. And it looks like this technology is going to bring about all sorts of unexpected consequences.

    1. Technology has a habit of unexpected consequences, doesn’t it?

  9. Not the reaction I expected him to have. Wonder what will happen if things get steamier between David and Kathy? Great snippet!

    1. What, indeed?

  10. Oh, Effing Feline, you so crazy.

    Aldous is a twisted little dude, isn’t he? I’m sort of fascinated and disgusted by him at the same time!

    Nice job!

    1. I’m glad you aren’t totally disgusted by him. The first rejection I got on this story complained that Aldous was so offputting that the editor put the story down.

      1. Ugh. It’s hard to find editors that are willing to think on the dark side. You have to hunt high and low for them… honestly, I’ve always gone small e-press because I just don’t like relinquishing that much control. But of course, it’s next to impossible to make any money that way…

        I like reading dark stuff. It’s a fascinating look into the human psyche, you know? I wouldn’t want to have a drink with the guy in a bar or anything, but he’s FICTION!

        Anyhoo… I’m repulsed, but fascinated at the same time.

        About the character, not Effing Feline. 😀

  11. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    I love how this peek into her mind has changed his opinion about Kathy. And made him think about his own life. Fabulous snippet! 🙂

    1. He’s such a hard case that it would take something like ‘becoming’ another person to make him reassess his own life.

  12. This enterprise doesn’t appear to be turning out the way he expects. Much like Effing’s venture into the back of your closet, probably.

    1. The best laid schemes o’ cats an’ men gang aft agley.

  13. Does this mean that Aldous has a conscience? Or maybe his voyeuristic enterprise is showing him more about himself than others. 😀 (I’m totally hooked).

    1. Your words are music to my ears, Gem!

  14. Things are steamy between Kathy and David. And great job describing the moment, Ed!

    1. The first draft was even steamier. I dialed it back a notch, aiming for emotion rather than explicitness.

  15. chellecordero · · Reply

    he’s allowed himself to get too personally involved

    1. And he’s not wise enough to realize this until it’s too late.

  16. Effing, you are in so much trouble! *smh* Very interesting about face. Now he’s protective of Kathy? This could cause a psychological break. Looking forward to next week!

    1. If anyone needs his psychology broken, it’s Aldous!

  17. Intriguing twist, Ed! Quite the reaction from Aldous–and I didn’t see that coming! He’s falling for her–70 years ago.

    1. In a way it just goes to prove that he’s a born loser.

  18. Wait, what? Aldous has a chivalrous side? Who would of thought? Great twist in your character’s arc, Ed.

    1. Either chivalrous or, maybe, jealous.

  19. We all get old, eventually. Unless we never get to grow old at all…

    1. I know I’ve gotten there. As Peter Pan, I’m a total failure.

      1. Peter Pan doesn’t grow at all, which is kinda sad when you think about it.

  20. Oh, interesting reaction. Now that’s a surprise. Good twist. And BTW, Effing Cat, Hudson, who was sitting on the arm of my chair reading alongside me, just fell off and is ROTFLHAO at your solution…

    1. Elizabeth, tell Hudson it’s dangerous to laugh at cats. Such actions tend to lead to scratched noses.

  21. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    He’s in a hard place. What good does it do you to fall for a memory? I trust you, though, that this will work out.

    1. Elaine, I absolutely love the way you phrased this: “What good does it do you to fall for a memory?” It sounds like song lyrics or a book title. Very poetic!

  22. I am loving Aldous’ reactions and thoughts. It’s so interesting. I wonder why that last image is suddenly making him furious though. Very intriguing. I hope we find out.

    1. As an author, ‘intriguing’ is good. I can live with ‘intriguing’.

  23. Nice mix of emotions. His ethical development warring with his physiological involuntary reaction.

    1. Thanks very much, Addison!

  24. Is he falling in love with the younger version of her? That sounds like disappointment coming up.

    1. Yeah, it kind of gives a whole new meaning to unrequited love’.

  25. I’m really liking where this story is going. So interesting.

    1. Thanks, Cecilia!

  26. Seems like he might be a little jealous. Definitely, a change of events. Intrigued.

    1. Yes, the dynamic is starting to turn.

  27. Oh, Effing! As for the snippet, it sounds like Aldous might be getting a little bit too involved in the memories.

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