Effing Feline discovers a new emotion

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, am having second thoughts about getting rid of my big Cousin Lee. He’s gone for good, I’m afraid. After the Fiat-munching episode on Broadway, he got himself a new home where he can mooch as much as he likes, so he won’t be coming back.

I got a picture from him. I’ll share it with you after today’s 10-sentence snippet.

The snippet is from Future Love, an upcoming collection of short stories by my pet human, Ed Hoornaert (aka Mr Valentine). He wanted me to mention that this book is science fiction, not necessarily science fiction romance, though love usually helps characters transform themselves.

This snippet is once again from Thimbleriggers, in which a crook invents a new form of pornography — with unintended consequences. The crook’s first ‘subject’ is Kathleen, the story’s heroine: a 90-year-old woman. They’re alone in her apartment, and she is speaking to the crook, named Aldous.

 “I am—was—a sociologist, so I understand why someone like you is the first private individual to seek such a high-tech marvel.”

“Do I look like I want to hear this, sister?”

“I’m rather surprised, however, that researchers would sell a surplus experimental device to you.”

Aldous didn’t try to hide his satisfied smile. The lab had assumed the son of the famous Dr. Raymond Wiggins must have legitimate scientific interests, and it was sweet, so sweet, to exploit his father’s respectability.

“The sex industry,” Kathleen continued as though lecturing a class, “seizes on new media before social controls catch up. The early days of photography had French postcards, which incidentally honed techniques and helped bring costs within the reach of the common man, and on the Internet, porn sites perfected pop-ups and ads that were later adopted by legitimate sites. In the same way, pornographers may help drive the development of mindscanning technology and lower costs until it becomes a consumer product.”

“Vacuum it, sister. You really got juicy memories to sell, or not?”

“I came of age during the Sexual Revolution, Mr. Wiggins. “

Effing Feline again. Here’s the picture of Cousin Lee I promised you.


Lee in zoo

Confession time. I’ve learned something from this adventure.  Namely, that I’m capable of feeling a new emotion previously unknown throughout the long history of catdom. (Sniff.)


Don’t let my tears of regret keep you from visiting the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sundays posts. (Sob)

<<  ===  >>

You're invited

…to an all-review book tour for Ed Hoornaert’s science fiction romance, Alien Contact for Idiots. The tour started last Tuesday with an insightful review by our own Elizabeth Alsobrooks, a Weekend Writing Warrior. Leave a comment at one of the stops and I’ll appreciate it — and you’ll also put yourself in the running for a $40 Amazon or Barnes and Noble gift certificate.AC for Idiots thumbnail

Here are the tour stops:

May 3: Book Bling
May 10: Sharing Links and Wisdom
May 10: The Recipe Fairy
May 17: Natural Bri
May 24: Lisa’s Louisiana Home
May 24: Am Kinda Busy Reading!
May 24: Booksomereads



  1. I’m so curious about this porn – and I’d never thought of it as innovative! Neat! =D

    1. All will be revealed. Oops, that’s a double entendre, isn’t it?

      1. Yes…it is! A delightful one at that! =D

  2. That’s a really intriguing premise, for so many reasons! I also love that the protagonist is a 90-year-old. It’s a nice change of pace to find stories focused on older people.

    1. As I wrote this story, I kept making Katherine older and older, because it increased the distance between her and him — and like you, I loved the chance to focus on an older heroine. I’m actually pretty proud of that.

  3. chellecordero · · Reply

    Poor Lee, fed but not free…

    Her words certainly make us think about the motivation behind so many of the conveneinces we take for granted. Great snippet.

    1. Some people will always be looking for an ‘angle’ when something new is invented.

  4. I love the last line Ed. I will take that as an indication that she had an – interesting – “coming of age”.

    1. In my teenager, I was surprised several times when old people had adventurous lives, because their identify was set in my mind as “old”. Ah, the arrogance of youth!

  5. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    I miss one week, and Lee is behind bars? Wow!

    A fabulous excerpt! I love how Kathleen seems so calm and is trying to educate Aldous, but he is just in a rush to get her memories. Well done!

    1. Both Kathleen and Aldous have quite different ideas about what they’re aiming for. Contrary to what Aldous thinks, she’s neither passive nor desperate.

  6. daezarkian · · Reply

    Riveting, entertaining and…dare I say…educational? ;D Nice work!

    1. Riveting … yes, I love the word ‘riveting’!

  7. Oh my goodness, there are two stories going on here and both are gripping! Kathleen is not daunted by the slimy Aldous, proving perhaps to be his equal (if not better) in cunning, and our dear Effing has learned a valuable lesson. So much to get caught up in, and we love all of it!


    1. Oh yes, Kathleen has her own type of cunning, honed by long experience.

  8. That last line is outstanding. What a hook!

    Poor Lee. I can’t believe Effing has a conscience. lol

    1. Thanks about the last line. Her background is such as to keep him interested.

  9. I like how you let Kathleen explain why she might consider working with Aldous. I have a feeling she’s got plenty to teach him, wether he likes it or not.

    1. The main lesson she has for him is the primary thing he needs to learn.

  10. Of course she’s got juicy memories to sell – at 90. She sounds smart enough to wrap Aldous around her little finger. Never underestimate the older woman!

    Alien Contact for Idiots sounds like something I should read. Just in case I should ever meet an alien.

    1. The consensus seems to be that AC for Idiots starts out slowly but picks up. At some point I should make a second edition to make the opening more gripping.

  11. Let’s hear them!

    I didn’t realize Effing’s cousin was so large!

    1. Cousin Lee’s name is short for Leo. 😉

  12. Love her “lecture” style banter…and then she drops that little tidbit at the end about coming of age during the sexual revolution! I think our baddie’s in for a surprise.

    1. Yep, even 90-year-old professors may have led a wild youth.

  13. What a great story idea. I love this lady!

    1. She’s one of my favorite heroines because she’s so unexpected. To look at her or even to know her, no one would expect her to go toe-to-toe with a crook.

  14. Poor Lee 😦 As for the snippet, I liked that last line! I feel like her youth was one wild ride!

    1. Re: Lee, the question is whether he’s better off in the zoo or crunching Fiats on Broadway.

  15. nancygideon · · Reply

    What a great premise! LOVE her!! Can’t wait to read more.

    1. Glad to hear it, Nancy.

  16. Wow, i love that she’s 90. Love her too.

    1. I’m delighted to be able to have a 90-year-old heroine.

  17. So interesting that the porn industry has expanded media like war has improved medicine and communications. So sorry about cuz, what can I do to help spring him?

    1. To spring Lee, show up at the Tucson Zoo with $10,000 in unmarked bills for a bribe. Bring a large truck with you. Simple, eh?

  18. Makes sense, we have some pretty basic needs as human beings, and after food and shelter are taken care of… I have the feeling something will go terribly wrong, though.

    1. But for which of the two will things go wrong for?

  19. She seems very spry for a 90-year-old. More power to her. She’s going to give Aldous a run for his money!

    1. You mean the money he’s paying her to do this?

  20. Oh-oh, not guilt, Effing! Poor cousin, behind bars like a common criminal kitty. I really like the way the porn industry has improved business technology. Makes sense to me.

    1. Well, that common criminal kitty did eat a Fiat…

  21. Common criminal, yep. Sort of like Aldous.

  22. “Vacuum it, sister.” That’s fantastic. I need to find a way to work that into a conversation.

    1. I had fun coming up with Aldous slang of the future. I enjoy that sort of thing.

  23. Loving this set up! Great writing! 😀

  24. I work with the elderly (I’m a nurse in a long term care facility) and all I can say is you wouldn’t believe how wild some of those “sweet little old ladies” can be…

    And I love how she just ignores his comments and goes on talking as if he hadn’t interrupted her.

    1. Indeed they can be wild. Aldous is still young enough and green enough not to realize that.

  25. I’m totally wondering why she is really doing it. It could also be like a way of writing her memoirs without writing them, just planting them into someone else’s mind. I wonder if that also works as memory transfer. If she send all her memories into someone else’s mind, would that do for immortality?

    1. She has eminently good reasons of her own, and they have nothing to do with memoirs or immortality. At least not directly.

  26. I just love how this is unfolding. It sounds like she sees a lot farther than Aldous does.

    1. She knows nothing for certain, but she has hopes about how this will turn out.

  27. I want to be Kathleen when I grow up. Loved this snippet and feel slightly bad for Lee. Bars are better than Fiats.

    1. So … you want to be a porn star when you grow up?

  28. Great snippet–love the dialogue. And nice pic of Leo (he’s a Leo, right?)

    1. Yep, he’s definitely Leo the Lion. Before he came for a visit I built up a wee bit of suspense and wanted his being a lion to be a surprise. That’s why I named him Lee, rather than Leo.

  29. Thoroughly intrigued.

    1. And I’m thoroughly glad you’re thoroughly intrigued.

  30. Her response to his question – says it all!!!

    1. Well, maybe. I came of age at the tail end of the sexual revolution yet it seemed to pass me by. Sigh.

  31. Love an older character…..great snippet. Next week can’t come soon enough, can’t wait to find put more.

    1. By next week, the lead character will be even older, so that’s good, right?

  32. Well now that was interesting, she’s one smart old lady and I love that she refuses to put a lid on her thoughts for him. I wonder if she’s going to end up seeing right through him. Love that last line too!

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