Effing Feline escapes death

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, have selected another snippet from Escapee, the upcoming science fiction romance by my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.

I, too, am an escapee. The vicious, man-eating dog next door (shudder) charged at me yesterday while I peacefully washed my paws atop the fence.  I barely escaped his ferocious, snapping jaws. That darned Chihuahua!

Last week, Catt Sayer saw from the air that the Castle Mountain military base had been destroyed by human invaders from the Proxima star system (Proxies). She landed to look for survivors and finds one — only one — inside a temporary air dome.

It’s the base commander, Captain Dukelsky, who was on leave during the attack. He’s given her such a hard time in the past that she nicknamed him Captain A-hole. Although he’s surrounded by death and destruction, the a-hole is calmly typing and refuses to leave until he’s done.

“I’m not one of your troopers you can order around,” Catt said, “and I’ll be damned if I just sit here while everyone’s dead or captured, just because you have a plarking report to write. What happened here?”

Dukelsky didn’t look up from his typing. “My entire command is, as you so crudely pointed out, dead. All bodies are accounted for.”

And yet he sat there, typing a report, probably describing events in such a way as to exonerate himself.

“The Proxies landed an invasion station at Norquay, on the other side of this moon,” she said. If news of the largest assault ship in the galaxy didn’t get a rise out of him, nothing would.

Dukelsky ignored her and kept typing.

“Rundle City is half-flattened,” she continued, determined to puncture his calm, “and the Proxies have taken over.”

Effing Feline again. Great news — Escapee is now available for pre-sale. Even the stupid Chihuahua next door is getting one. You should, too!

Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors and Sunday Snippets folks.




  1. There is definitely something wrong with this picture! Does he know something she doesn’t? Or is he such a paper pusher?

    1. Excellent questions, Kim. Catt, of course, assumes he is the latter.

  2. This story looks so good. I just went to Amazon to buy it–and thank goodness they keep track, lol. I’d already pre-ordered it. 🙂

    Excellent character building in this snippet, Ed.!

    And I am so glad that effing was faster than that man-eating Chihuahua!

    1. YOU may be glad Amazon restrained you from buying a second copy of Escapee, but do you think I’m glad?

  3. Why’s that report so important to him? Hmm…something’s afoot. And, Effing – out of the jaws of death! That was close!

    1. No, nothing’s afoot. You see, the moon’s uninhabitable and awash in volcanoes, so nobody walks anywhere–all travel is by air–so in this instance, the proper phrase would be “something’s a-WING.”

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject · · Reply

    Poor Effing Feline. My dog is much bigger than a chihuahua, but she does the same thing to squirrels that hang out on our fence. Great excerpt! I can sense her urgency and frustration with him. I wonder why he continues to type while destruction is happening all around him.

    1. Poor Effing? You mean wimpy Effing! Even when the chihuahua jumps, it only get a third of the way to the top of the fence.

  5. What a scene! I love the contrast between her urgency and his business-like demeanor. She should kill him and that’s that. Comedy in outer space. My fave.

    1. My, my, Charmaine, aren’t we bloodthirsty this morning!

  6. bonniegill · · Reply

    First of all I love the name Captian a-hole! Too funny.
    I’m wondering why the report is so urgent? Maybe it’s his way of dealing.
    Poor effing cat. You know you could open a can of whoop-ass on it. 😉

    1. The man has his reasons, and he’s about to unload them on Catt.

  7. Fun little snippet…love to see conflict between characters, almost as much as I love back-and-forth dialogue. Hopefully there will be some of that following this one-side exchange. 🙂

    1. Ignoring someone can be an extremely effective way of annoying them, don’t you think?

  8. Another terrific excerpt, Ed! Is it scary this reminds me of a scene from my day job? :O

    1. I don’t know if it’s scary, but it is pitiable in a ‘been there, done that’ sort of way.

  9. I think he knows something she doesn’t. There must be a reason for needing that report done so quickly. Either way, it raises a lot of questions in a good way.

    1. Thanks, Frank. That’s what this passage is supposed to do, raise questions about the captain and why he’s doing this.

  10. I wonder if the report-writing is a way for him to try to save face? Especially if he knows he’s not well-liked. I foresee a tension-filled dynamic between these two!

    So glad Effing survived the Chihuahua attack!

    1. One has to create some sort of tension between the characters until the sexual tension kicks in!

  11. Very interesting…I wonder what he’s typing and why. Reminds me of Madame Defarge knitting in A Tale of Two Cities.

    1. LOL — I love the comparison to Madame Defarge. Catt would love it, too.

  12. historysleuth1 · · Reply

    You did a lot with only 10 sentences. I feel his apathy and her frustration with him. I get a great feel for each character.

    History Sleuth’s Mysteries

    1. Great, glad to hear your reaction!

  13. Imagine that awful Chihuahua trying to attack you, Effing! The dog has no manners. Maybe there’s hope for him though, since he’s getting a copy of the book.


    1. Sure he’s getting the book — but can he read it? After all, it’s in English, not Spanish…

  14. I wonder how he managed to survive? I can picture him so well sitting there, typing away among the ruins. You’ve created a really intriguing character in just a few lines.

    1. I can answer the first question. He arrived on an automated shuttle, after being on leave back on the home planet, right after the attack that destroyed his garrison.

  15. Are the proxi’s proxy’s? just curious.

    1. No, they’re proxies for proxi’s proxy’s.

  16. You have to watch out for Chihuahuas… they can be pretty high strung!

    I guess reports have to be written, if that’s what he’s doing. Maybe it’s something else, though, since it doesn’t seem like Catt knows what he’s writing.

    1. It wouldn’t much matter what he’s writing–Catt can’t fathom his single-minded determination to finish it even though she has snuck in to rescue him from death and desolation. Clearly, they are made from different molds.

  17. First things first: good escape Effing. I would plan your revenge on the chihuahua if I were you. Now to the writing: I have never knowingly bought a science fiction book (although I will admit to reading The Day of the Triffids from the library many years ago.) However, I am intrigued sufficiently by your story to go to Amazon to buy a copy to add to my gargantuan pile of unread books. I’m sure I won’t be disappointed.

    1. Wow, Rachel, that is a tremendous compliment. Thanks so very much!

  18. Interesting the way the captain is behaving. I’d suspect a severe case of PTSD but from your comments, doesn’t sound like that’s the explanation. Whatever is happening, the excerpt is intriguing! Good luck to Effing on avoiding that ferocious canine…

    1. Intriguing is good, Veronica. Thanks!

  19. nancygideon · · Reply

    Off to One Click! My kitties are hoping Effie gets the revenge he deserves.

    1. Thanks very much, Nancy!

  20. Sheesh, and just when they say we’re becoming a paperless society…

    1. Ah, but we never became a paperless society, did we? Instead, we print out more paper than ever before. But in the captain’s defence, he’s typing up an electronic document.

  21. He does seem obstinate, rigid? A- hole is correct!

    1. Ah, but wait to hear his side of the story!

  22. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Hmm… is Dukelsky ignoring Catt for a good reason? I’m sure we’ll soon find out.

    1. Well, he doesn’t approve of her, for reasons explained in backstory, but it’s really more that after being alone with the dead for a weeks, he’s holding himself together with spit and bailing wire.

  23. Daryl Devore · · Reply

    Hmmm – is he focused on his work trying to avoid thinking about what happened? Coping strategy.

    1. Ah, an insightful reader.

  24. Victoria Adams · · Reply

    Interesting – why is he so determined to get the report done – questions to be answered next week – ??

    And I hope Effing Feline has recovered from the harrowing near-death by Chihuahua incident.

    1. Effing will be fine. It’s just that he’s led a sheltered life.

  25. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    Seems like something he’d pay attention to. There must be something more going on.

    1. Righto. And hopefully readers will want to read on to find out what.

  26. Next time, Effing, swat the yapper across the nose — no need to keep your claws hidden when you do.

    As for the excerpt, it almost sounds like he’s planning to not be the only survivor.

    1. Cats are very good at that swat across the nose, aren’t they? One of our former cats had our former dog (a 95 pound dog!) living in fear because of nose swats.

  27. chellecordero · · Reply

    Poor Effing, I was bot by a dog as a young child, it was a little dog, I believe it might have a chihuahua, darn feisty, nasty little dogs with such sharp teeth, Glad you managed to escape,

    So is Dukelsky so upset about the loss of his command that he can’t face anyone, or is the paperwork so important that he must get it done no matter what else is going on?

    1. Tune in next week, same time, same station, to find out.

  28. Enjoyed this week’s snippet!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Iris.

  29. I don’t really care what he’s writing, I just love the animosity between them. I’m guessing (hoping) it means fireworks ahead from them in more ways than one. 😉

    1. Yes, Joyce, there shall be fireworks.

  30. Who the heck is he writing a report FOR if everyone is dead around him? And really, does anything at all phase this guy? I can see why she refers to him as Captain A-hole. LOL.

    1. Poor Captain Dukelsky. Everybody’s picking on him…

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