I, Effing Feline, have selected another snippet from Escapee, the upcoming science fiction romance by my pet human, Ed Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine.
I, too, am an escapee. The vicious, man-eating dog next door (shudder) charged at me yesterday while I peacefully washed my paws atop the fence. I barely escaped his ferocious, snapping jaws. That darned Chihuahua!
Last week, Catt Sayer saw from the air that the Castle Mountain military base had been destroyed by human invaders from the Proxima star system (Proxies). She landed to look for survivors and finds one — only one — inside a temporary air dome.
It’s the base commander, Captain Dukelsky, who was on leave during the attack. He’s given her such a hard time in the past that she nicknamed him Captain A-hole. Although he’s surrounded by death and destruction, the a-hole is calmly typing and refuses to leave until he’s done.
“I’m not one of your troopers you can order around,” Catt said, “and I’ll be damned if I just sit here while everyone’s dead or captured, just because you have a plarking report to write. What happened here?”
Dukelsky didn’t look up from his typing. “My entire command is, as you so crudely pointed out, dead. All bodies are accounted for.”
And yet he sat there, typing a report, probably describing events in such a way as to exonerate himself.
“The Proxies landed an invasion station at Norquay, on the other side of this moon,” she said. If news of the largest assault ship in the galaxy didn’t get a rise out of him, nothing would.
Dukelsky ignored her and kept typing.
“Rundle City is half-flattened,” she continued, determined to puncture his calm, “and the Proxies have taken over.”
Effing Feline again. Great news — Escapee is now available for pre-sale. Even the stupid Chihuahua next door is getting one. You should, too!