Effing Feline is NOT Garfield

Space cat-wewriwa

Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior posts on Mr. V’s behalf

I, Effing Feline, am piteously hungry.

Last year my pet human, Edward Hoornaert, aka Mr Valentine, had turkey for Christmas and I had great leftovers. This year, his family had lasagna, instead. Garfield likes lasagna, but real cats do not like lasagna. I had cat food for Christmas dinner. Cat food! On Christmas!

Despite my growling stomach, I’m presenting another selection from Mr V’s latest WIP. It picks  up right after last week’s snippet. Dusty Johnson lives and works at an underground research facility run by alien Kwadrans. One night she awakens to find her brother, Juan, at the foot of her bed — the brother who vanished into another dimension and thus is as good as dead.

“You aren’t Juan,” she repeated.  “I bet I’m dreaming of you because today I thought about using my connection with Reese—Prince Eaglesbrood—to ask the Kwadrans to use the ship to search for you.”

The shadow slid backward with none of the jerkiness of footsteps.

She clenched her fists.  When fear threatened to overwhelm her, she imagined Reese was with her.  That helped.

As though on wheels, the shadow glided out the door and vanished.  Very weird dream.

Curious, she slipped out of bed to follow the Not-Juan.  At the doorway she paused and looked around — but she saw nothing.

Effing Feline again, wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Picture courtesy Deposit Photos

Picture of me, courtesy of Deposit Photos

Make sure you read the snippets by other great weekend writing warriors.

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Triology a - smaller

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  1. Poor Effing! Such a tough life!

    My advice to our heroine would be “DON’T FOLLOW not-Juan!” But I guess that would be very boring!

    1. That’s good advice for you or me, but not for Dusty (the heroine). The book opens with her ignoring an evacuation order and charging into the innards of a spaceship prototype to search for a bomb that’s been planted there.

      1. I recall that, yes. She is our kinda woman! Headstrong, unafraid to run where angels fear to tread!

  2. Yep, agree with Kim–on both counts. Don’t follow not-Juan–and I wonder who’s managing those puppet strings.

    And poor effing! Really? Cat food on Christmas. 🙂

    1. You want to know why ‘not a creature was stirring, not even a MOUSE?’ It’s because of Effing.

  3. This ranks up there with investigating the door/window that’s slamming in the wind. No good can come of this.

    1. The book is titled “Alien Contact for Heroines”, so Dusty has to live up to the title. And no, I’m not going to change the title to “Alien Contact for Dumb Heroines.”

  4. A message from another dimension? I’d be curious too! (But I’d probably just pull the covers over my head).

    1. Covers over the head simply isn’t Dusty’s style. If it were, I wouldn’t have a book!

  5. No good may come of all of this. This is short and sweet, Mr. Valentine so Happy Everything to you and your loved ones.

    1. The wife and I took son #3 to the airport today. Big sigh. Sons #1 and #2 leave Tuesday for Toronto and Vancouver, respectively. The house will seem very empty!

  6. Feline Abuse – no, worse than that – Effing Feline Abuse! Lasagna – ptooey!

    I really find myself not so much wondering about Not-Juan, but instead about Reese – I mean Prince Eaglesbrood. Because that’s an awesome name, and it can be handy to be on more or less intimate terms with a prince. He might not be able to chase away strange Not-Juan phantasms, but I’ll bet there’s other things he can help with…

    1. I don’t know if Effing will get around to selecting that snippet, but Reese will have a lilac-smelling midnight visitor of his own … one who looks like Dusty!

      1. Oooh…interesting! Dusty smells like lilacs – I love lilacs! I’ve got two huge bushes in front of the house – heavenly, when they bloom!

      2. I envy you! My grandmother had lilac bushes and I loved the aroma. Unfortunately, I’ve lived in climates where I can’t grow them — either too cold (Canadian Rockies) or too hot (Arizona). ;-(

  7. “The shadow slid backward with none of the jerkiness of footsteps.”

    This line is pure gold. Made me see exactly the way he/it moved. I also loved “Not-Juan.” Great snippet!

  8. Love the detail about not-Juan moving without the jerkiness of steps.

    1. I threw that in to make sure readers are aware this isn’t really a person. It’s more mysterious that way.

  9. Karen Michelle Nutt · · Reply

    Really, she shouldn’t follow the Non-Juan, but I want to know what he/it is. lol Enjoyed the snippet,

    1. Thanks, Karen. Happy New Year!

  10. Ed. Ed. Ed. Lasagna?!?!?!? Poor Effing feline.
    My suggestion is to not follow not-Juan – but that would make for a very short story – so can’t wait to see what’s next.

    1. Hey, blame my wife for the lasagna. I cook most meals, but Christmas dinner is Judi’s show.

  11. Not Juan good dream!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Aurora.

  12. elainecsc2013 · · Reply

    That was brave. I might hide under the covers myself.

    1. Me too … but then that’s why we write books rather than star in them.

  13. Lost in another dimension isn’t a ‘certain’ kind of dead. All kinds of mysterious things could have happened.

    1. Well, dead to her, then. Unless, of course, they find some way to travel to the other dimension.

      1. You never know in stories! There’s so many ways for the dead to return. 🙂

  14. I enjoyed the snippet and the building mysteries here. All the details are extremely effective and add to the intrigue for sure!

    1. I appreciate your comment, because the book is definitely still in the “building mysteries” phase.

  15. Hm, is the apparition going to lead her from frying pan into fire, or is it trying to help??

    1. That’s an excellent question for readers to be asking.

  16. I can see why the intrepid Dusty would follow the “Not-Juan.” You might as well try to stop Princess Leia from picking up a blaster and following Han Solo (pardon me, I went to see The Force Awakens last night). But it is her nature to be bold, which is such a great role model for girls these days. May the Force be with you, Dusty!

    1. I like this interpretation. Although I disdain unthinking action-first heroines (or heroes!), boldness can be a valuable trait. In line with my personal values, though, the book also establishes that Dusty’s intelligence and dedication are her primary strengths.

  17. chellecordero · · Reply

    Tell Effing that I have three felines and they are too lazy to learn to dial the humane society for themselves. One of them likes to send my unfinished emails and now it seems one is sending FaceBook friend requests on my behalf. Effing, you do a great job of putting this blog up every week, cat food IS healthier for you than table scraps, take care of yourself.

    Ok, the snippet: My curiosity would get the better of me too and I would follow the apparition wondering if her brother was reaching out to her. But I am sure our heroine is bound for a bucket load of trouble. BTW, great title for a sequel, Alien Contact for Dumb Heroines. lol.

  18. LOL — love your idea for a sequel, Chelle. A second followup book could be Alien Contact for Dumb and Dumber Heroines.

    The first thought that occurred to me was that it would be awkward to write about a dumb heroine, i.e., one who couldn’t talk — but then I immediately realized I’ve already done that in one of my personal favorites, The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station. Lots of interior dialogue in that one!

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